As you may have heard, the government said each and every one of us would now get a nice rebate

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs.

If we spend it on fruit and vegetables it will all go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatamala.

If we purchase a good car it will all go to Japan.

If we purchase useless crap it will all go to Taiwan.

None of this will help the American economy. If we want to keep that money here in America, the only way to do it is to buy prostitutes and beer, since those are the only businesses still left in the United States.

My name is Elliot Spitzer, and I approved this ad.