The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate. -Jay Leno

Americaneeds Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. -Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. -Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund raiser. -Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary? A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. -David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved? A: America ! -Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo? A: Bo has papers. -Jimmy Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program? A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. -David Letterman