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Divorce Agreement

Published:

DIVORCE AGREEMENT -- This is so
incredibly well-put, and I can hardly
believe it's by a young person, a student!!
Whatever he runs for, I'll vote for him!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, regressive, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:

We have stuck together since the late
1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.
I know we tolerated each other for many
years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America
cannot and will not ever agree on what
is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

1. Our two groups can equitably divide
up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.

2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore,
and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however,
responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy
corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

8. You can have your beloved lifelong
welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood ..

11. You can make nice with Iran and
Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors..

17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right.

18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the
Republic" and "The National Anthem."

19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

20. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.

22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in
15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.

Forward this every time you get it! Let's keep this going; maybe some of it will start sinking in!

**If you can't stand behind our Military, Please feel free to stand in front of them! **

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln
Entry #197

Comments

1.
emilygComment by emilyg - June 19, 2012, 11:24 pm
Forwarding.
2.
Comment by bobbya - June 19, 2012, 11:55 pm
You can keep Texas and the rest of the dumb and ignorant that ALWAYS vote against their own best interests in all of the Red States where they are always at the bottom in education,poverty,low wages.
We will keep all the blue states where all the intelligent people live that earn living wages and who are prosperous living in decent homes instead of 1 room shacks like the ridge runner lives in.
3.
Coin TossComment by Coin Toss - June 20, 2012, 2:17 am
bobbya,
Want to compare unemployment stats in red states vs blue states?
4.
Coin TossComment by Coin Toss - June 20, 2012, 6:21 pm
Try this;
http://www.theblaze.com/blog/2012/05/08/surprise-blue-states-fare-worse-than-red-under-obama/

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