CONTEST: What's the best punch line?Prev TopicNext Topic

• ayenowitall

  

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  Nov 27, 2004, 8:27 am

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  In the spirit of coping with the perception that lotteries are fixed, crooked, rigged, corrupt, fraudulent, mismanaged, or whatever adjective you might choose, I'd like to offer a little contest.

  I'm sure that you've all heard the joke about the man who was sitting at his desk pounding his head against the wall. One of his co-workers walked by and inquired as to why he was hitting his head.  Without hesitation, the man answered, "Because it feels so good when I stop."

  Well, many a truth is told in jest. There are a number of lessons in that joke depending on how you might interpret it. So, we might all benefit greatly if someone could come up with the ideal punch line to this joke:

  Two guys are standing in line to buy lottery tickets. One guy is boiling mad and grumbling about how he can't win enough money because the lottery is rigged. The other guy is a little puzzled by it all and asks, "If you're so sure that the lottery is rigged, why do you keep playing it?" The disgruntled fellow answers,"............."

  Okay, who's got the best punch line for that? I should say that the ideal punch line should offer some insight, comfort, and aid to everyone who has any doubts about the intergrity of lottery games. Of course, it should also be funny. The prize to the winner (and all the rest of us) will be a good laugh, infinite lifetime installments of little chuckles, and perhaps the wisdom to not take the lottery or anything else so seriously that we can't enjoy life.

  Good luck,

  aye'
• WIN D

  

  Stone Mountain*Georgia
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  Nov 27, 2004, 11:35 am

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    I know ....I know....here's one.....

        1. " Because it feels soooo good when I Stop!"  LOL

  

   

   

  The only real failure .....is the failure to try.                               

                                Luck is a very rare thing....... Odds not so much. 

                                Odds never change .....but probability does. 

                                                                                         Win d    
• LOTTOMIKE

  

  Tennessee
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  Nov 27, 2004, 11:45 am

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  the disgruntled fellow answers.........."i've been a loser all my life and spent untold amounts and i've sent all my neighbors kids to college through the state education lottery and they don't even have the heart to thank me,i'm working on little dave's education now but boy he'd be mad at me if i'd hit the jackpot,lol"
• Todd

  

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  Chief Bottle Washer

  New Jersey
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  Nov 27, 2004, 3:35 pm

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  "Because I spent my entire vacation staking out various mom & pop stores in each corner of the state, pretending that my car was broken for 12 hours a day, and counting how many cutsomers enter the store.  Now I need to win to pay for my gas money."

   

  Check the State Lottery Report Card
  What grade did your lottery earn?

   

  Sign the Petition for True Lottery Drawings
  Help eliminate computerized drawings!
• ayenowitall

  

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  Nov 27, 2004, 4:00 pm

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  Todd,

  I think you're leading the contest right now. Your punch line had me LMAO! Good one! Very good one!

  No wonder you're the Chief Bottle Washer here at LP.

  aye'
• catspick

  

  Lithonia,GA
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  October 5, 2004
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  Nov 27, 2004, 9:26 pm

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  The answer is
  
  
  
  Because he's unemployed and needs the money.
• enterceptorr

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  October 18, 2004
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  Nov 27, 2004, 9:42 pm

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  he answerz,.........

  cause i got nothin better to do
• MADDOG10

  

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  Beautiful Florida
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  July 18, 2004
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  Nov 27, 2004, 9:51 pm

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  " because i'm trying to win enough money to get back to kansas. "

                                             

                        KARMA...Has no menu. You get served what you deserve
• winsumloosesum

  

  Philadelpia/Pennsylvania
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  Nov 27, 2004, 10:00 pm

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  "Because I see you here in line everday with your sexy wife"
• DoctorEw220

  

  Yinzer Country, PA
  United States
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  March 18, 2004
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  Nov 27, 2004, 10:03 pm

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  here's one.
  
  the guy answers "because i'm the one who rigged it. i'm just blowing my winnings on a few tipoffs from the security guy. now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to buy out those $20 games."
  
  
  
  ok. that one was bad, but it was all i could come up with.

  I've redone my website.  Go to www.dr-ew.com.  I kept a lot of the old stuff, and I've added some new stuff.  Look for more new stuff in the coming weeks.
• winsumloosesum

  

  Philadelpia/Pennsylvania
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  Nov 27, 2004, 10:07 pm

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  I guy is sitting in the dentist chair and sez to the dentist, "You know doc, I'm allergic to needles and novacane".  The dentist sez, "Take 2 of these Viagra".  The patient sez, "Why"?  The dentist says, "So you'll have something to hold on to"!!  Yuk Yuk!!
• LOTTOMIKE

  

  Tennessee
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  Nov 27, 2004, 10:10 pm

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  lol,that's a new one
• ayenowitall

  

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  Nov 27, 2004, 10:56 pm

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  I hope it's not unethical for me to enter my own contest. Here's how I'd complete the joke.

  Two guys are standing in line to buy lottery tickets. One guy is boiling mad and grumbling about how he can't win enough money because the lottery is rigged. The other guy is a little puzzled by it all and asks, "If you're so sure that the lottery is rigged, why do you keep playing it?" The disgruntled fellow answers,"Because I don't have any right to complain if I don't play."

  Good luck,

  aye'
• BobP

  

  Dump Water Florida
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  June 5, 2002
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  Nov 27, 2004, 11:48 pm

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  Two guys are standing in line to buy lottery tickets. One guy is boiling mad and grumbling about how he can't win enough money because the lottery is rigged. The other guy is a little puzzled by it all and asks, "If you're so sure that the lottery is rigged, why do you keep playing it?" The disgruntled fellow answers,"Because it's the only game in town."
  
  BobP
  
• reddog

  

  Durham, North Carolina
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  June 5, 2003
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  Nov 28, 2004, 1:47 am

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  Two guys are standing in line to buy lottery tickets. One guy is boiling mad and grumbling about how he can't win enough money because the lottery is rigged. The other guy is a little puzzled by it all and asks, "If you're so sure that the lottery is rigged, why do you keep playing it?" The disgruntled fellow answers,"Because I have no life."