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im in TROUBLE

Topic closed. 29 replies. Last post 10 years ago by cps10.

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delores247's avatar - Lottery-048.jpg

United States
Member #19043
July 24, 2005
7378 Posts
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Posted: December 3, 2006, 11:14 pm - IP Logged

Delores247, I will pray for you also....you are absolutely right! 

Thank you Rubi 311

    emilyg's avatar - cat anm.gif

    United States
    Member #14
    November 9, 2001
    31333 Posts
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    Posted: December 3, 2006, 11:19 pm - IP Logged

    Besides prayer, what you need to do is to tell your husband that you would rather NOT have to ask him for money.  Tell him exactly how you feel when you have to ask him.  Then, get a job and make your own.  I am sure that if he loves you, he will understand how you feel.  Some men think that if their wife works, it means that "they" aren't doing enough to support her.  That is a flasehood...work provides a person with dignity and gives purpose to their life.  I am surprised that you only had a gambling addition.

    I Agree!

    love to nibble those micey feet.

     

                                 

      justxploring's avatar - villiarna
      Wandering Aimlessly
      United States
      Member #25360
      November 5, 2005
      4461 Posts
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      Posted: December 4, 2006, 12:02 am - IP Logged

      " I thought about killing myself but im not , Icouldnt do that to my family!" 

      I know the feeling of hopelessness.  I was once in a coma because I was in a lot of pain and took too many pills.  I attended a service Sunday afternoon to cheer me up (I'm in one of my searching for an answer stages) and, although I don't agree 100% with what the pastor said, he was talking about people who give up, doubt and question why bad things happen. Then he said something like "If you've been in an accident or been through cancer or some other life threatening illness and you are still alive, then that's enough proof that God wants you to be here."  I'm not religious at all. In fact, I don't know exactly what I believe in, so I'm not trying to preach. But I do know that life kicks us in the butt once in a while, some more than others. I have no idea what your husband will or won't do. Nobody else on this board knows either. However, being honest and facing your problem is the only way to handle this situation. If it's meant to be, together you will work out your problems. I'm sure he has his own faults. I don't understand why any man in 2006 would want his wife to stay at home unless they had small children. It sounds like a control issue. However, in 1999 I worked with a woman whose husband made plenty of money and wanted her to be home, so it's not that unusual.  I could tell by the way he looked at her that he was deeply in love, but the foundation for a strong relationship is built on more than feelings. It needs to have mutual respect and it is also based on trust, so you'll need to earn his back. If the will to change is there (for BOTH of you) the marriage will survive.

      No matter what happens, you are here for a reason.  There are few reasons to kill yourself or to even think about it.  When people are stuck on the 100th floor of a burning tower, they have no choice. But don't ever jump when there's somewhere else to go.  In a world that often seems cold and unforgiving, there is an abundance of support and love just waiting around the corner.

        luckieStarr's avatar - darven
        philadelphia,PA
        United States
        Member #27080
        November 26, 2005
        507 Posts
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        Posted: December 4, 2006, 2:12 pm - IP Logged

        Have you thought, maybe it is the best thing for you to bring this out in the open and if you divorce your husband it may be for the best.  You should be able to live your life without fear...life is too short as it is...so why kill yourself or to be unhappy.  You should find someone who you can share  your hobby with (gambling)  look at all the gamblers on this site...gamblers are good people and deserve love...like anyone else.  You need counseling so you can love yourself and think more of yourself...because right now...you are not thinking very highly of yourself.  Keep that money you won, because you may need it to help you to start over.

        Leaving  Keep It In until It Wins!

          st.germain's avatar - Tarlor
          chicago ill.
          United States
          Member #3600
          February 4, 2004
          337 Posts
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          Posted: December 4, 2006, 5:48 pm - IP Logged

          Dawn, in AA when you make a mistake like you said you did...it is called a relapse....not a mistake. People are just human enough to have relapses when the temptation is staring you in the face

          in admitting that you had a relapse you are taking the first step to full recovery. Nothing to be ashamed about. In this case...your ahead by 1600 bucks.......ya got lucky...use that lucky streak to talk to your husband and tell him that you had a relapse and have him "work" with you to save the marriage. Twenty years is a lifetime and it should not be given up without a fight. He will understand you and love you that much nore. 

            cps10's avatar - Lottery-004.jpg
            The Carolinas - Charlotte
            United States
            Member #21627
            September 12, 2005
            4138 Posts
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            Posted: December 4, 2006, 6:24 pm - IP Logged

            Dawn, in AA when you make a mistake like you said you did...it is called a relapse....not a mistake. People are just human enough to have relapses when the temptation is staring you in the face

            in admitting that you had a relapse you are taking the first step to full recovery. Nothing to be ashamed about. In this case...your ahead by 1600 bucks.......ya got lucky...use that lucky streak to talk to your husband and tell him that you had a relapse and have him "work" with you to save the marriage. Twenty years is a lifetime and it should not be given up without a fight. He will understand you and love you that much nore. 

            St. G

            Couldn't agree with you more on that! Well said.

            The North Carolina Education Lottery - so much a joke that here are their mascots:

            Stooges

              Avatar

              United States
              Member #119
              February 19, 2002
              527 Posts
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              Posted: December 4, 2006, 8:44 pm - IP Logged

              well guys i might be leaving lottery post i know i probably didnt post much here are made any since about any systems i talked about,but i sure did enjoy this website yall have realy had some good ideas and yall are so nice.THANK YOU! you see i had a gambling problem 5 years ago. i gambled 12,000 dollars in one year at the casinos playing slots.I know its not a lot compared to some gambling addicts but it was a lot to my husband! well i never went back once i had to tell him about my gambling problem. Well i went back yesterday with 50.00 dollars and won a jackpot of 1,600. Isaid to my self now what am i going to do? I have to show taxes and he always goes to the CPA so i cant hide it. So ive decided to tell him after christmas so that i wont ruin his holidays. I dont know why i went back after 5 years, i guess out of bordem are because he goes to his camp and leaves me at home most of the time. I know it was wrong and i own up to it! i must realy be sick hu! He will definitly leave me for sure im certain of it. ill get a job i guess and have to make a life on my own. Thank god we dont have kids because i know divorce is hard on kids! well anyway maybe i will be able to afford to still play lotto haha! Yall are probably thinking why did she play any kind of lottery? Well my husband nver wanted me to work and i could never buy much for myself so i thought maybe if i could win a little bit of money sometimes then i would'nt have to ask him for any. I should'nt have been playing with a gambling problem to begin with. It's a shame but we would be married 20 years March 14,2006. I love him with all my heart and always will. I thought about killing myself but im not , Icouldnt do that to my family! just pray for me please!  a word of advise ! if someone thinks they have a gambling problem! get help! And know the consequenses of keeping it secret.....and is it worth losing more than you think not just money!!!!! thanks dawn( Bipolar )

              Dawn,

              I invite you to consider the following:

              a) Find a certified addictions counselor on your insurance plan (call the 800# on your card); if you do not have insurance like 46 million Americans in this country, locate and call the local community mental health center in your area-- most work on a sliding fee scale or see people for no cost if they are subsidized by grants

              b) Identify your triggers

              c) Attend several meetings of Gamblers Anonymous [GA], learn about those wonderful 12 spiritual principles called the 12 Steps and invite others to suggest ways to minimize or handle your triggers when they arise

              d) Look for any history of depression and/or chemical dependency or addiction of any kind on both sides of the family (your parents') so you know about genetic predisposition and vulnerablity

              e) With your counselor, identify and practice strategies to combat boredom when it arises

              f) Work on developing self-esteem from within and not root it in externals like gambling/money won/money lost, etc. (I'm not implying you have no self-esteem!); An excellent resource for this can be found in your local library in the chapter on Self-Esteem in a book called The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (no need to buy it!)

              g) With your counselor identify the empty spots in your marital relationship and how you can fill that emptiness with real connectedness, real emotional and social intimacy

              h) Develop a support system (you might find some of the people at GA with long sobriety time to be very helpful)

              i) You have a mission in life that you can uncover by identifying your true passions, talents, and abilities; your counselor can help you with that once you get anchored in your recovery

              j) Do something creative every day

              God bless you, Dawn, and good luck to you.  You are not alone, and others stand ready to assist you.

              Greg

                bipolar's avatar - Yavill
                the berry/louisiana
                United States
                Member #16351
                May 29, 2005
                568 Posts
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                Posted: December 5, 2006, 11:32 am - IP Logged

                Thank so much! All of you that replyed to my post yo people have givin me so much incouragement!!!! everyone of you are sure blessed i guess is true when you call out for help that God cant come to you in the flesh but he uses people and through them he sends encouragement against hopelessnessBlue Angel. I sure hope my husband will understand because i couldnt imagine my life without him. (He was my first and he will be my last) So for you people being their for me with such sopport this is my prayers for you. I wish you love. I wish you luck and anyone of you that may be going through anything in your life, weather it maybe sickness,a death in the famliy,or anything that makes you said im sorry and i will pray for your pain!!! Merry Christmas and i hope yall New Year will be Happy! Thanks !!  What ever the out come of my situation i will let yall know. Thanks again yallSad

                  Avatar
                  NY
                  United States
                  Member #23835
                  October 16, 2005
                  3471 Posts
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                  Posted: December 5, 2006, 3:03 pm - IP Logged


                  Now that you've gotten the advice, sift through it and take action. Tell your husband now, because the problem is already there and Christmas is just an excuse to put off solving the problem.

                  If you really want to solve your problem you'll work on not gambling and you'll work on not spending your time talking about gambling, especially with other gamblers. Spending time here as somebody with a gambling problem is like being an alcoholic and going to bars with your friends and telling yourself you won't drink while you're there.

                    Tenaj's avatar - michellea
                    Charlotte NC
                    United States
                    Member #17406
                    June 18, 2005
                    4053 Posts
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                    Posted: December 5, 2006, 3:23 pm - IP Logged

                    Thank so much! All of you that replyed to my post yo people have givin me so much incouragement!!!! everyone of you are sure blessed i guess is true when you call out for help that God cant come to you in the flesh but he uses people and through them he sends encouragement against hopelessnessBlue Angel. I sure hope my husband will understand because i couldnt imagine my life without him. (He was my first and he will be my last) So for you people being their for me with such sopport this is my prayers for you. I wish you love. I wish you luck and anyone of you that may be going through anything in your life, weather it maybe sickness,a death in the famliy,or anything that makes you said im sorry and i will pray for your pain!!! Merry Christmas and i hope yall New Year will be Happy! Thanks !!  What ever the out come of my situation i will let yall know. Thanks again yallSad

                    Blue AngelWish you the best of Luck Bipolar and God Bless you.

                    takeemtothebank

                      bipolar's avatar - Yavill
                      the berry/louisiana
                      United States
                      Member #16351
                      May 29, 2005
                      568 Posts
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                      Posted: December 6, 2006, 2:30 am - IP Logged

                      Well WHO EVER PRAYED FOR ME!!!! It worked i sat him down and told him and I SWARE TO GOD!!!! it was a miracle on melancon road...hahahaa he fussed which i knew he would but he said (I thought you would have relapsed sooner) you did good! he understood and that he would support me and be their for me to help me not too go back. He said he loved me and that we would work it out!!! yall have no idea how much i felt a peace and the first thing i thought of was all you guys that was praying for me. When i say a MIRACLE i mean it realy was. I thought when i told him he would tell me (whelp babe thats it its over) but it was the total opposite. yall just dont how releived i am. OH GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! and thank you for all those angels that you sent to support me (im crying so much i cant hardly type) thank yall so much LP members)  Dawn  (here's a big hug from me too youGroup Hug)

                        emilyg's avatar - cat anm.gif

                        United States
                        Member #14
                        November 9, 2001
                        31333 Posts
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                        Posted: December 6, 2006, 2:42 am - IP Logged

                        Well WHO EVER PRAYED FOR ME!!!! It worked i sat him down and told him and I SWARE TO GOD!!!! it was a miracle on melancon road...hahahaa he fussed which i knew he would but he said (I thought you would have relapsed sooner) you did good! he understood and that he would support me and be their for me to help me not too go back. He said he loved me and that we would work it out!!! yall have no idea how much i felt a peace and the first thing i thought of was all you guys that was praying for me. When i say a MIRACLE i mean it realy was. I thought when i told him he would tell me (whelp babe thats it its over) but it was the total opposite. yall just dont how releived i am. OH GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! and thank you for all those angels that you sent to support me (im crying so much i cant hardly type) thank yall so much LP members)  Dawn  (here's a big hug from me too youGroup Hug)

                        You made my day!!!  love to you and your hubby

                         

                                          Lovies

                        love to nibble those micey feet.

                         

                                                     

                          bipolar's avatar - Yavill
                          the berry/louisiana
                          United States
                          Member #16351
                          May 29, 2005
                          568 Posts
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                          Posted: December 6, 2006, 2:45 am - IP Logged

                          HyperHyperHyperHyperHyper  THANKS AGAIN LP MEMBERS ,(FRIENDS) GOD BLESS ALL OF YALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                            mylollipop's avatar - Trek STLOGO6.png

                            United States
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                            October 21, 2005
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                            Posted: December 6, 2006, 4:26 am - IP Logged

                            HE is here to help you, just let HIM.  You are experiencing love and truth.  Many prayers on your behalf have gone up.  You have taken the first step and He will never forsake you!

                              cps10's avatar - Lottery-004.jpg
                              The Carolinas - Charlotte
                              United States
                              Member #21627
                              September 12, 2005
                              4138 Posts
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                              Posted: December 6, 2006, 9:28 am - IP Logged

                              HyperHyperHyperHyperHyper  THANKS AGAIN LP MEMBERS ,(FRIENDS) GOD BLESS ALL OF YALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                              Dawn

                              Same to you! This is the best news I've heard in quite some time!! Keep in touch!

                              The North Carolina Education Lottery - so much a joke that here are their mascots:

                              Stooges