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Country music titles meet LP and the lottery

Topic closed. 84 replies. Last post 7 years ago by jrosina.

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Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
Zeta Reticuli Star System
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January 17, 2006
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Posted: February 20, 2010, 4:11 pm - IP Logged

Let's have some fun. I'm sure many here have received one of those e-mails about the top country music titles of the year, such as "If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me (real song), etc, so let's make up some of our own.

Try to keep them to lotto but a few comments on life in general would be good, too, like "In the Gas Station of Love She Sent Me to the Self-service Pump"

(I think that's a parody on something Al Yankovic parodied).

Here's for starters,

If I Had Hit One More Number I Wouldn't Be Lying Here Looking At You

I Had the Winner and the Machine Shut Me Out

You Stole My Numbers, You Stole My Heart, and Took off With Him for a New Start

You May Think You Always Smell Like A Rose But When It Comes to Lottery Numbers You Can't Pick Your Nose

Your Numbers Hit, You Didn't Play, You're Always Going to Remember That Day

 



Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

Lep

There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.

    rdgrnr's avatar - walt
    Way back up in them dadgum hills, son!
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    Posted: February 20, 2010, 5:55 pm - IP Logged

    You spent all my money on tickets and lottery

    While I worked all night making cots at the cottery


                                                 
                         
                                             

     

     

     

     

                                                                                                       

    "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

                                                                                                --Edmund Burke

     

     

      tiggs95's avatar - Lottery-036.jpg

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      Posted: February 20, 2010, 6:01 pm - IP Logged

      Oh jrosina oh jrosina oh jrosina NUMBERS!!!..and so on..tra la tra la tra la...

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        New York,
        Panama
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        Posted: February 20, 2010, 6:06 pm - IP Logged

        Oh jrosina oh jrosina oh jrosina NUMBERS!!!..and so on..tra la tra la tra la...

        Oh my Tiggs your numbers have to be mated, you are going to Win so much the KLC is going to have you Investigated!

        forget what "they" say about youWhat you say about you?...

        Now, does it count??

         

         

        *Jr$ina

          rdgrnr's avatar - walt
          Way back up in them dadgum hills, son!
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          Posted: February 20, 2010, 6:08 pm - IP Logged

          Tell me who is it that you have feelings for

          Is it Abdullah, down at the Convenient store?


                                                       
                               
                                                   

           

           

           

           

                                                                                                             

          "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

                                                                                                      --Edmund Burke

           

           

            tiggs95's avatar - Lottery-036.jpg

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            Posted: February 20, 2010, 6:11 pm - IP Logged

            Oh my Tiggs your numbers have to be mated, you are going to Win so much the KLC is going to have you Investigated!

            SWEET..I welcome the problem of having to much money and have to pay taxes..Bring it on baaaaaabyyy!!...

              rdgrnr's avatar - walt
              Way back up in them dadgum hills, son!
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              Posted: February 20, 2010, 6:21 pm - IP Logged

              You've gambled all our money

              I should walk right out those doors

              But I'd never hurt your mother

              Or her chain of liquor stores


                                                           
                                   
                                                       

               

               

               

               

                                                                                                                 

              "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

                                                                                                          --Edmund Burke

               

               

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                New York,
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                Posted: February 20, 2010, 6:26 pm - IP Logged

                You've gambled all our money

                I should walk right out those doors

                But I'd never hurt your mother

                Or her chain of liquor stores

                HHHAhhaLOL Oh OH MY Goodnes HaaaaLMHoooooofffGreen laugh

                forget what "they" say about youWhat you say about you?...

                Now, does it count??

                 

                 

                *Jr$ina

                  Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
                  Zeta Reticuli Star System
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                  Posted: February 20, 2010, 6:50 pm - IP Logged

                  rdgrnr,

                  You're killing me!

                  This actually happened......

                  We were on a dead game one niht and the boxman tells this joke about the perfect woman. The perfect woman was a buxom nymphomaniac that owns a bar or a Mercedes dealership.

                  Well, these women come up to start the game and this one, you could just tell, "I love me". She had a real 'tude. She was definitley buxom, too, a real "Emersom", and showing 'em off to everybody.

                  She said something to the boxman, the boxman gave her an answer she didn't like, so she says, "I'll have you know my husband thinks I am the perfect woman."

                  The boxman says, "Do you own a bar?" and the whole crew loses it.

                  Green laugh

                  How about,

                  All those times I want to kick you in the tush

                  I have to stop and remind myself your from St. Louis and your last name is Busch

                  ///////////////////////////

                  The clerk said "Not a winner" and you came home

                  Well he just sent you a postcard all the way from Rome

                  //////////////////////////

                  You play instant tickets 'cause you like to scratch

                  But it's been three hundred dollars since you and a winning number matched

                  ///////////////////////////

                   




                  Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

                  Lep

                  There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.

                    Avatar
                    New York,
                    Panama
                    Member #73078
                    April 4, 2009
                    3490 Posts
                    Offline
                    Posted: February 20, 2010, 7:08 pm - IP Logged

                    Let's have some fun. I'm sure many here have received one of those e-mails about the top country music titles of the year, such as "If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me (real song), etc, so let's make up some of our own.

                    Try to keep them to lotto but a few comments on life in general would be good, too, like "In the Gas Station of Love She Sent Me to the Self-service Pump"

                    (I think that's a parody on something Al Yankovic parodied).

                    Here's for starters,

                    If I Had Hit One More Number I Wouldn't Be Lying Here Looking At You

                    I Had the Winner and the Machine Shut Me Out

                    You Stole My Numbers, You Stole My Heart, and Took off With Him for a New Start

                    You May Think You Always Smell Like A Rose But When It Comes to Lottery Numbers You Can't Pick Your Nose

                    Your Numbers Hit, You Didn't Play, You're Always Going to Remember That Day

                     



                    I took my Winnin' ticket to the clerck at the store named "mighty might"

                    she scanned it said to me with a frightful sigh, it's not a winning ticket no, not right

                    I said give me back my ticket if you don't want an awful fight

                    she said how about we tear it in half or I can claim it on your behalf

                    I said how about I split your head in two and you can keep the Winning half!!!

                    forget what "they" say about youWhat you say about you?...

                    Now, does it count??

                     

                     

                    *Jr$ina

                      rdgrnr's avatar - walt
                      Way back up in them dadgum hills, son!
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                      April 28, 2009
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                      Posted: February 20, 2010, 8:17 pm - IP Logged

                      I took my Winnin' ticket to the clerck at the store named "mighty might"

                      she scanned it said to me with a frightful sigh, it's not a winning ticket no, not right

                      I said give me back my ticket if you don't want an awful fight

                      she said how about we tear it in half or I can claim it on your behalf

                      I said how about I split your head in two and you can keep the Winning half!!!

                      "...how about I split your head in two..."

                      LOL, Rosie, I think we may have been married before.

                      You ever been to Nacagdoches?


                                                                   
                                           
                                                               

                       

                       

                       

                       

                                                                                                                         

                      "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

                                                                                                                  --Edmund Burke

                       

                       

                        tiggs95's avatar - Lottery-036.jpg

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                        Posted: February 20, 2010, 8:35 pm - IP Logged

                        ridgey you scared jrosina off or she's taking time from the computer to wait on her man..What a woman..

                          rdgrnr's avatar - walt
                          Way back up in them dadgum hills, son!
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                          April 28, 2009
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                          Posted: February 20, 2010, 9:02 pm - IP Logged

                          ridgey you scared jrosina off or she's taking time from the computer to wait on her man..What a woman..

                          Hope she don't wear out her humpmuscle.


                                                                       
                                               
                                                                   

                           

                           

                           

                           

                                                                                                                             

                          "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

                                                                                                                      --Edmund Burke

                           

                           

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                            New York,
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                            Posted: February 20, 2010, 9:13 pm - IP Logged

                            Hope she don't wear out her humpmuscle.

                            I use my brain muscle to get tiggs these winning tickets, so I can read it when He brags!!

                            forget what "they" say about youWhat you say about you?...

                            Now, does it count??

                             

                             

                            *Jr$ina

                              Avatar
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                              Panama
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                              Posted: February 20, 2010, 9:15 pm - IP Logged

                              ridgey you scared jrosina off or she's taking time from the computer to wait on her man..What a woman..

                              Tiggs, Just make sure you don't give your ticket to the clerk to scan!!

                              forget what "they" say about youWhat you say about you?...

                              Now, does it count??

                               

                               

                              *Jr$ina