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You are the luckiest S O B on planet Earth!!

Topic closed. 30 replies. Last post 6 years ago by ConstantlyB.

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Zeta Reticuli Star System
United States
Member #30470
January 17, 2006
10348 Posts
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Posted: October 13, 2010, 12:45 am - IP Logged

You are the luckiest S O B on planet Earth!!

You only have to purchase one lottery ticket to win the jackpot.

You only have to purchase one scratch ticket to win the jackpot.

You win every hand in poker.

You have been banned from every casino card table because you always brutally beat the house.

You always empty the slot machines with every pull of the handle/push of the button.

Your pick 3 and pick 4 combinations always hit in exact order every drawing you play.

You win the jackpot in every second chance drawing.

Good luck sticks on you like stink on poop!!

You are the richest billionaire on earth.

What do you do with your life now? How do you stay sane? How do you keep from being bored?

In one of Rod Serling's Twilight Zone episodes a gambler had died and found himself in a casino. He couldn't lose a bet. He told the "pit boss", "I didn't think even heaven would be this good." The "pit boss" looked at him and said, "Oh, this isn't heaven."

Thje point being it was hell for the gambler because he couldn't lose.

Serling did quite a few stories with a gambling theme. I think he either knew some heavy gamblers or had experiences with it.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

When I worked in the casinos we had a lady that was on a real lucky streak one night. The box man on our game was from New Orleans, and he told her, "They say you get real lucky just before you're going to die." She freaked.

Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

Lep

There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.

    rdgrnr's avatar - walt
    Way back up in them dadgum hills, son!
    United States
    Member #73904
    April 28, 2009
    14903 Posts
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    Posted: October 13, 2010, 12:58 am - IP Logged

                                                               Green laugh

     

    Be careful, it's not what it's all cracked up to be.....

    This is no laughing matter, I just feel the need to help people.


                                                 
                         
                                             

     

     

     

     

                                                                                                       

    "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

                                                                                                --Edmund Burke

     

     

      rdgrnr's avatar - walt
      Way back up in them dadgum hills, son!
      United States
      Member #73904
      April 28, 2009
      14903 Posts
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      Posted: October 13, 2010, 1:04 am - IP Logged

      Dang dude!  I hear it ain't all it's cracked up to be.............that is............. being a gyno................... Lordy! TMI! PAc beat me to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!We think alike ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      Oogle

      It's ok, I can learn from my Uncle who was a gyno for many, many years.

      And he was one of the best. He did it under tragic circumstances too.

      He went blind and had to learn how to read lips.


                                                   
                           
                                               

       

       

       

       

                                                                                                         

      "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

                                                                                                  --Edmund Burke

       

       

        truecritic's avatar - PirateTreasure
        Michigan
        United States
        Member #22395
        September 24, 2005
        1583 Posts
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        Posted: October 13, 2010, 2:15 am - IP Logged

        It's ok, I can learn from my Uncle who was a gyno for many, many years.

        And he was one of the best. He did it under tragic circumstances too.

        He went blind and had to learn how to read lips.

        You, could single-handedly ruin the gynecologist business! 


         

        A guy goes into the Job Center in New York and
        sees a card advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant.

        Interested he goes to learn more.
        "Can you give me some more details about this?"
        he asks the fellow behind the desk.

        The Job Center guy sifts through his files and replies,
        "Oh - yes here it is... OK, the job entails you
        getting patients ready for the gynecologist.
        You have to help them out of their underwear,
        lie them down and wash their private regions.
        Then apply shaving foam and shave the area.
        Rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the
        gynecologist's examination.

        There's an annual salary of $55,000 but I'm afraid
        you'll have to go to Harvard in Boston."

        "Oh why, is that where the job's based?"

        "No - that's where the end of the line is"

          Nino224's avatar - Lottery-013.jpg
          Miami
          United States
          Member #62793
          July 9, 2008
          673 Posts
          Offline
          Posted: October 13, 2010, 3:17 am - IP Logged

          I've always had this need inside of me to help people.

          So if I had all those things you mentioned then I would finally be able to

          live out my dream of helping people without any recompense whatsoever.

          It would be my way of giving back to society. And I wouldn't charge a dime for it.

          And it's always been on my to-do list anyway.

          I would become a gynecologist and give free exams.

          Just think how nice the world would be if we all pulled together

          to offer our time and energy to help people in some small way such as this.

          Rd,

          Just make sure to leave some money aside to pay the TN firefighters fee!!

          We wouldn't want the fire dept. to stand-by watching your house burn down, lol!!!

          "...a chance to push everything aside, the circumstances that've controlled our lives, and do it our way now. Good, bad or otherwise. You'll maybe get lost in it, tied up in it a little bit, but if you work your way through that the real you shows up, I think. Maybe what's at your core deep down, maybe that comes out. Maybe that's what it's about." Mike Pace 

            Avatar

            Honduras
            Member #20982
            August 29, 2005
            4715 Posts
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            Posted: October 13, 2010, 5:06 am - IP Logged

            yeah you will not want your house burnt down...the whole week there was a gas leak in my dad´s house where i live...

            i think the same thing can happen if you own a bussiness...the bussiness or your home will burn down....

            The Forex trades: 1.6 Trillion dollars EVERY day, that´s more than the GDP of the Carribbean Central America, COMBINED. Enough to feed every crook out there for centuries...To all Geniuses & Powers Countries of the World the Planet needs breakthroughs in all Medicine, Veterinary, Biology related fields, Psychology, Population Psychology/Sociology..They need to genetically ingeneer new plants species/types to give more variety of plants and thus have more resources for combating diseases¨


             


             


             

             


              rdgrnr's avatar - walt
              Way back up in them dadgum hills, son!
              United States
              Member #73904
              April 28, 2009
              14903 Posts
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              Posted: October 13, 2010, 9:36 am - IP Logged

              yeah you will not want your house burnt down...the whole week there was a gas leak in my dad´s house where i live...

              i think the same thing can happen if you own a bussiness...the bussiness or your home will burn down....

              Pumpi, all kidding aside, if there's a gas leak in your house you need to get the gas company out there to fix it immediately before the house blows up.


                                                           
                                   
                                                       

               

               

               

               

                                                                                                                 

              "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

                                                                                                          --Edmund Burke

               

               

                rdgrnr's avatar - walt
                Way back up in them dadgum hills, son!
                United States
                Member #73904
                April 28, 2009
                14903 Posts
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                Posted: October 13, 2010, 11:39 am - IP Logged

                Rd,

                Just make sure to leave some money aside to pay the TN firefighters fee!!

                We wouldn't want the fire dept. to stand-by watching your house burn down, lol!!!

                Yeah, the cheapskate probably paid more per month for his cable tv then they wanted per year for fire protection.

                I wonder if he would expect cable tv if he didn't pay for it?

                Then he expects the Fire Chief to send his firefighters in to risk their lives when he declined their services just to save $75? Uh-uh, doesn't work that way.

                Some people have a real hard time dealing with the realities of life.

                I wonder if he'd demand that Allstate replace his house after he declined fire insurance?


                                                             
                                     
                                                         

                 

                 

                 

                 

                                                                                                                   

                "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

                                                                                                            --Edmund Burke

                 

                 


                  United States
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                  June 1, 2009
                  5345 Posts
                  Offline
                  Posted: October 13, 2010, 11:46 am - IP Logged

                  This is no laughing matter, I just feel the need to help people.

                  Sure you do, sure you do.....lol..........Wink

                    rdgrnr's avatar - walt
                    Way back up in them dadgum hills, son!
                    United States
                    Member #73904
                    April 28, 2009
                    14903 Posts
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                    Posted: October 13, 2010, 11:59 am - IP Logged

                    Sure you do, sure you do.....lol..........Wink

                    I just can't imagine why you would doubt me and call my motives into question!

                    I am shocked and appalled! 

                    This is an outrage!


                                                                 
                                         
                                                             

                     

                     

                     

                     

                                                                                                                       

                    "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing"

                                                                                                                --Edmund Burke

                     

                     

                      sully16's avatar - sharan
                      Ringleader
                      Michigan
                      United States
                      Member #81740
                      October 28, 2009
                      40376 Posts
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                      Posted: October 13, 2010, 12:06 pm - IP Logged

                      I just can't imagine why you would doubt me and call my motives into question!

                      I am shocked and appalled! 

                      This is an outrage!

                      LOLLOLGreen laughROFL my goodness.

                      Did you exchange a walk on part in the war ?

                      For a lead role in a cage?

                       

                                                                  From Pink Floyd's " Wish you were here"

                        jarasan's avatar - new patrick.gif
                        Harbinger
                        D.C./MD.
                        United States
                        Member #44103
                        July 30, 2006
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                        Posted: October 14, 2010, 12:40 am - IP Logged

                        It's ok, I can learn from my Uncle who was a gyno for many, many years.

                        And he was one of the best. He did it under tragic circumstances too.

                        He went blind and had to learn how to read lips.

                        Now you are really reaching  ROTFLMAO!  It is clear where the ridge in ridge runner comes from!

                        Big Grin

                          Avatar

                          United States
                          Member #85338
                          January 13, 2010
                          143 Posts
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                          Posted: October 15, 2010, 12:06 pm - IP Logged

                          I've always had this need inside of me to help people.

                          So if I had all those things you mentioned then I would finally be able to

                          live out my dream of helping people without any recompense whatsoever.

                          It would be my way of giving back to society. And I wouldn't charge a dime for it.

                          And it's always been on my to-do list anyway.

                          I would become a gynecologist and give free exams.

                          Just think how nice the world would be if we all pulled together

                          to offer our time and energy to help people in some small way such as this.

                          Maybe this song should be changed to "Dr. Ridgey"

                           

                          http://www.metrolyrics.com/dr-stephen-lyrics-stephen-lynch.html

                          "It's not a matter of 'if,' but a matter of 'WHEN!!!'  "

                            Avatar
                            New York,
                            Panama
                            Member #73078
                            April 4, 2009
                            3490 Posts
                            Offline
                            Posted: October 15, 2010, 2:07 pm - IP Logged

                            I just can't imagine why you would doubt me and call my motives into question!

                            I am shocked and appalled! 

                            This is an outrage!

                            HA,HA,HA,HAAAAAAAAAHa,Ha,Ha,LMHOOooffff!!!!! Big SmileGreen laughROFLGreen laugh!!!!!

                            Rd,You are the Best!!!

                            forget what "they" say about youWhat you say about you?...

                            Now, does it count??

                             

                             

                            *Jr$ina

                              tiggs95's avatar - Lottery-036.jpg

                              United States
                              Member #47420
                              November 4, 2006
                              3930 Posts
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                              Posted: October 15, 2010, 8:25 pm - IP Logged

                              HA,HA,HA,HAAAAAAAAAHa,Ha,Ha,LMHOOooffff!!!!! Big SmileGreen laughROFLGreen laugh!!!!!

                              Rd,You are the Best!!!

                              And tiggs thought tiggs was the best..:(..Could we be #1 and #1a.........huh...