Mo. woman describes aftermath of lottery jackpot

Mar 5, 2012, 8:45 am (55 comments)

After the Big Win

When Sandra Hayes hit a $224 million Powerball jackpot with 12 of her co-workers, she didn't retire immediately.

Hayes was a social worker with the state of Missouri then, and she was a single mom of three who was twice divorced. Her income was less than $26,000 a year.

She had debt, including school loans, and she still was having a hard time believing that she had won. She wanted to wait until she had her winnings in hand.

But things at work got increasingly difficult.

She started getting letters from all over the country from people who said they needed money for a variety of emergencies.

"They were desperate, but I had no idea who they were," she said.

Those who didn't send letters, sent faxes, or they'd show up in the lobby at her office and ask to speak to her.

"After a while, I just said I'm not coming out," she said. "I told them this is not a client."

Some even showed up at her Florissant home on the weekends. She got to the point where she didn't open her door.

And it wasn't just strangers. A friend whom Hayes had known for years sought Hayes' help in paying three years worth of back taxes. She said if she didn't pay up, she was going to lose her house.

Hayes offered the names of several organizations that could help, but the woman claimed she had already tried, and they wouldn't assist her.

"You know how you can pick up a vibe off a person that something's funny?" Hayes said. "Well that's how I felt, so I told her I'd think about it."

After the woman left, Hayes searched a St. Louis County government website for her friend's property tax records. They were paid in full. She printed out the page and mailed it to her. They didn't speak again.

Hayes said it was experiences like these that led her to now self-publish a 42-page paperback, "How Winning the Lottery Changed My Life." It's available at bookstores and online and retails for $11.96. (Book available here.)

Hayes, 51, said she has matured a lot since winning the lottery in April 2006.

The morning she found out that she had won, she was running late for work. Hayes suffers from lupus, and she wasn't feeling well.

Her supervisor called to ask if she was coming in, and Hayes feared she might get fired. But she told Hayes she and her co-workers had won the Powerball. Even after another co-worker called and verified the news, Hayes didn't believe it.

Hayes said she was overwhelmed by her newfound wealth, and everything that came with it — like her new tax rate. She took a lump sum payment, which she said was significantly less than the $8.5 million reported at the time, although she wouldn't say how much she got.

She retired and paid off her bills and her home. She bought a second home and new cars for herself and her two daughters. She paid off her son's car loan and bought new furniture and clothes. She took her family on several vacations, something she was never able to afford before.

Hayes donated money to organizations that helped her when she needed it and to people who needed help, like a woman whose teeth were knocked out in a domestic assault.

She even appeared on a reality TV show that detailed how she and three of her other co-workers spent their first Christmas as millionaires.

But after the spending spree and the publicity died down, Hayes realized that even millionaires needed to be on a budget. She still shops at discount stores and is taking up couponing.

"If I don't budget right, I could spend my money by the time I'm 60," she said.

Hayes is grateful she won the lottery and can spend her days gardening, cooking or fishing. And she's working on an afterschool program that would teach children healthy eating habits and cooking skills.

But she's had to weigh those pluses against the minuses, like having to find new friends.

"It feels good now to be with people who will take you out to dinner or buy you a drink, and there's no strings attached," she said. "They love me for who I am and not because of what I have."

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Comments

mcginnin56

Sandra has a smart head on her shoulder, probably more then most who win even larger jackpots.

God bless her, she deserves everything she received!   Blue Angel

 

Is it just me...or doe's Sandra remind you of Whoopi Goldberg? Could be her twin sister.    Eek

sully16's avatarsully16

Congrats Sandra, I hope you find some peace and quiet so you can enjoy time with your family.

LottoGuyBC's avatarLottoGuyBC

"It feels good now to be with people who will take you out to dinner or buy you a drink,

and there's no strings attached," she said.

"They love me for who I am and not because of what I have." 

 

well said Cheers

mightwin's avatarmightwin

You will know who your true friends are.....the ones that don't ask for a dime and are happy for you.

dpoly1's avatardpoly1

Nice lady! Maybe Todd can write a post about my big win soon! No picture though.

Cool

KSplayer's avatarKSplayer

It is always nice to hear of a winner who manages their money and doesn't end up broke within a year. Congrats on your win Sandra!

time*treat's avatartime*treat

"Hayes searched a St. Louis County government website for her friend's property tax records. They were paid in full."

Some friend. Unhappy

GiveFive's avatarGiveFive

This woman's experiences after her win isnt much different than other big winner's experiences. It happens to them all, and that type of thing has been well documented here and other places.

Claiming a JP anonymously is the only way to go, but the gaming laws of individual states may or may not let that happen.

Take heed and learn from her experience.  If your name is required to be made public, then prior to collecting your prize, you need to have a plan in place to disappear immediately after the session where you are introduced to the public.  It should be part of the discussions you have with your lawyer, financial advisors et al before you go to collect.

NightStalker's avatarNightStalker

Glad to see that she is doing well.  You never can tell how the win will affect people long-term.

CDanaT's avatarCDanaT

Quote: Originally posted by GiveFive on Mar 5, 2012

This woman's experiences after her win isnt much different than other big winner's experiences. It happens to them all, and that type of thing has been well documented here and other places.

Claiming a JP anonymously is the only way to go, but the gaming laws of individual states may or may not let that happen.

Take heed and learn from her experience.  If your name is required to be made public, then prior to collecting your prize, you need to have a plan in place to disappear immediately after the session where you are introduced to the public.  It should be part of the discussions you have with your lawyer, financial advisors et al before you go to collect.

Amen Give5, I have seriously considered moving immediately to a gate restricted community after a big win to avoid just this very issue and even going on a month long vacation to visit other states for a 2nd home away from home. Course if you have kids in school that won't work..but moving will. You can always tear up letters or stamp them, "return to sender, no longer at this address"....

Lucky SOB

well if she thought people werent going to bother her any more they sure are now after reading this

Franky79

It has to really hurt to have life long friends treat you like that. But, if my friend won the lottery, I would be envious and would need a moment to get used to her wealth. is that selfish?

TheRightPrice

ScaredEVERY Lotto Winner gets attacked sooner or later. Be Prepared when you winSad Cheers

maringoman's avatarmaringoman

This is a beautiful story. Shame on the "property tax" friend, everybody who reads this story will curse her. Thats a lot of curses.

If the story is retold in the newly published book then she will forever be grouped with Judas Iscariot, the disciple who betrayed Jesus for 30 gold coins.

Littleoldlady's avatarLittleoldlady

You don't even have to win the lottery for these folks to come out.  You just need to make a decent amount of money.  People put their hands out for "gimmee, lend me, can you spare?" all of the time.  What amazes me is that when they get their hands on some money..they can't remember "those bills" that they owe.  They burn through their cash and then think that you should give yours to them.

murdoog

Quote: Originally posted by Franky79 on Mar 5, 2012

It has to really hurt to have life long friends treat you like that. But, if my friend won the lottery, I would be envious and would need a moment to get used to her wealth. is that selfish?

I think that falls under being human.

dk1421's avatardk1421

Quote: Originally posted by time*treat on Mar 5, 2012

"Hayes searched a St. Louis County government website for her friend's property tax records. They were paid in full."

Some friend. Unhappy

Agreed!! That really burns me up!

It is possible that the "friend" had a different loan they needed to have paid, but were embarrassed to admit and so made up that it was property taxes. At least, that's what my optimistic side says.

However, the truth is probably that they "felt" they "deserved" some of her money.

HoLeeKau's avatarHoLeeKau

Quote: Originally posted by murdoog on Mar 5, 2012

I think that falls under being human.

I agree that's just normal human feelings, and it's okay to have those feelings.  How you deal with them and express those feelings is the key to being a mature person a nd a good friend.

winwi5

I'm glad she has revealed her story on how people can be because it just let's me and everybody on this board that are future lottery winners that even your friends will act up.

When my aunt won millions in the lottery a coupke of years ago her kids acted up and stop speaking to each other and be on facebook and twitter acting up.

This story let's me know i will put my business in order first before giving out anything i have a strong feeling i'm getting ready to win millions in the lottery very soon.

If you think stuff and it penetrates in your mind and the universe that thought can be produced by imagination and the thing you think about can be created into reality.

VenomV12

1. Move away, or buy a house in a guard gated neighborhood and a couple of dogs and learn to say NO. 

2. Buy a gun. If people show up at your door and see your gun, they probably won't come back again, that is if the dogs don't eat them first. 

3. Buy a big shredder and immediately deposit any letters or faxes directly into it.

HaveABall's avatarHaveABall

It's years too late for Sandra Hayes!  However, future non-anonymous, net multi-million lottery jackpot winners -- after receiving their own lottery jackpot winnings -- can painlessly make out helpful $6K+ one-time "Gift Checks" and give to their five closest friends. 

Probably most of those friends wouldn't be insulted, but rather thankful that their net multi-million jackpot winning friend was being a concerned and sharing "financial friend" to them.  It is said that people of similar incomes and etc. "flock" to each other.  If that is true, each of the net multi-million lottery jackpot winner's friends receives a similar annual income, which is usually under gross $100K annually, so additional funds are probably uplifting and helpful to receive!

Group Hug

HaveABall's avatarHaveABall

The article reads:  "She took a lump sum payment, which she said was significantly less than the $8.5 million reported at the time, although she wouldn't say how much she got."

Well, it's a shame that shared Powerball jackpot winner Sandra Hayes wouldn't say.  However, most of us can calculate that she RECEIVED a net of apx. $5.7 million dollars after 4% Missouri state and 34.9% U.S.A. federal income taxes deducted.  This is an excellent amount of monies for her and her children to live very well off of the mainly interest and some of the principal during their entire lifetimes; even if each lives to a ripe old age of now more common 100 years.

rdgrnr's avatarrdgrnr

Quote: Originally posted by maringoman on Mar 5, 2012

This is a beautiful story. Shame on the "property tax" friend, everybody who reads this story will curse her. Thats a lot of curses.

If the story is retold in the newly published book then she will forever be grouped with Judas Iscariot, the disciple who betrayed Jesus for 30 gold coins.

It says 30 pieces of silver in my book.

rdgrnr's avatarrdgrnr

It's been said here a few times before.

The money may not change you but it may change your friends.

And that would be a shame.

But I don't think it would change people who truly were your friends.

CDanaT's avatarCDanaT

Quote: Originally posted by rdgrnr on Mar 5, 2012

It's been said here a few times before.

The money may not change you but it may change your friends.

And that would be a shame.

But I don't think it would change people who truly were your friends.

Ridge, I hear ya on the "truly friends" aspect......Look at family after a death where numerous assets are divided amongst family. The "blood is thicker than water" has the same demise as  " money changes your friends". True friends and true relatives are rare..Here's Cheers hoping that you, the other positive L.P. kids and I never have to experience what this lotto winner did.(other than winning)

rdgrnr's avatarrdgrnr

Quote: Originally posted by CDanaT on Mar 5, 2012

Ridge, I hear ya on the "truly friends" aspect......Look at family after a death where numerous assets are divided amongst family. The "blood is thicker than water" has the same demise as  " money changes your friends". True friends and true relatives are rare..Here's Cheers hoping that you, the other positive L.P. kids and I never have to experience what this lotto winner did.(other than winning)

Roger that, CD.

Colt45ML's avatarColt45ML

That's why rich folks seem to gravitate toward exclusive communities full of other rich people.  That way they won't have the <snip> worried out of them constantly by human leaches of one sort or another.  I think I'd want to live someplace where I'm in at least the bottom 20 or so % in terms of total wealth.  Might even be someplace out of the country, and I'd take my money with me.

This post has been automatically changed by the Lottery Post computer system to remove inappropriate content and/or spam.

time*treat's avatartime*treat

Quote: Originally posted by VenomV12 on Mar 5, 2012

1. Move away, or buy a house in a guard gated neighborhood and a couple of dogs and learn to say NO. 

2. Buy a gun. If people show up at your door and see your gun, they probably won't come back again, that is if the dogs don't eat them first. 

3. Buy a big shredder and immediately deposit any letters or faxes directly into it.

3. Buy a big shredder and immediately deposit any letters or faxes directly into it.

Speaking of deposits, if anyone gets past the guard and dogs, and the shredder is big enough ... oh, nevermind. Red Devil

time*treat's avatartime*treat

Quote: Originally posted by Colt45ML on Mar 5, 2012

That's why rich folks seem to gravitate toward exclusive communities full of other rich people.  That way they won't have the <snip> worried out of them constantly by human leaches of one sort or another.  I think I'd want to live someplace where I'm in at least the bottom 20 or so % in terms of total wealth.  Might even be someplace out of the country, and I'd take my money with me.

This post has been automatically changed by the Lottery Post computer system to remove inappropriate content and/or spam.

Don't worry. Another four years, you'll be in the bottom 20% and you won't have to go anywhere.

RJOh's avatarRJOh

Quote: Originally posted by VenomV12 on Mar 5, 2012

1. Move away, or buy a house in a guard gated neighborhood and a couple of dogs and learn to say NO. 

2. Buy a gun. If people show up at your door and see your gun, they probably won't come back again, that is if the dogs don't eat them first. 

3. Buy a big shredder and immediately deposit any letters or faxes directly into it.

Numbers 1. and 2. I might do but those letters might make a nice read for folks interested in those kinds of things.  I would published them in a book "Letters to a lottery jackpot winner".  I could have a best seller, right up there with the Harry Potter books.   I would remove the names to protect the innocents.

Babel

Quote: Originally posted by Colt45ML on Mar 5, 2012

That's why rich folks seem to gravitate toward exclusive communities full of other rich people.  That way they won't have the <snip> worried out of them constantly by human leaches of one sort or another.  I think I'd want to live someplace where I'm in at least the bottom 20 or so % in terms of total wealth.  Might even be someplace out of the country, and I'd take my money with me.

This post has been automatically changed by the Lottery Post computer system to remove inappropriate content and/or spam.

Unfortunately they end up dealing with leaches of a different sort. I used to work in Sun Valley, Idaho which is such an area. Lots of Hollywood types, Microsoft millionaires, etc. Bruce Willis lives there full time and ownes several businesses in the area. Arnold Schwarzenegger has a place there, his billionaire neighbor refers to him as the poor foreign guy with the tiny house next door. Most of the businesses that provide services to the rich up there are all run by crooks. They mainly hire illegal immigrants, bill for workers that wern't on site and for extra hours the job didn't take, things like that.

I've always thought if I won a big pile one of my investments would be in my own firm up there. I'd love to run all those guys out of business by charging honest rates and treating workers fairly. I bet you could make a very nice profit at the same time too.

rdgrnr's avatarrdgrnr

Quote: Originally posted by VenomV12 on Mar 5, 2012

1. Move away, or buy a house in a guard gated neighborhood and a couple of dogs and learn to say NO. 

2. Buy a gun. If people show up at your door and see your gun, they probably won't come back again, that is if the dogs don't eat them first. 

3. Buy a big shredder and immediately deposit any letters or faxes directly into it.

The first time they see your gun should be when they hear the safety clicking to the off position.

And then it's too late - for them.

naijaman

Great point GiveFive...I would definitely have plane tickets for the same day in my jacket pocket - from the lottery office and the announcement straight to the airport....out of the country for 60-90 days.

Coin Toss's avatarCoin Toss

From the OP,

" But she's had to weigh those pluses against the minuses, like having to find new friends."

There have been discussion here on LP about would you remain anonymous, if you had the choice, and some said they would "shout it from the roof tops." I wonder what they think after stories like this one.

hearsetrax's avatarhearsetrax

Quote: Originally posted by Coin Toss on Mar 11, 2012

From the OP,

" But she's had to weigh those pluses against the minuses, like having to find new friends."

There have been discussion here on LP about would you remain anonymous, if you had the choice, and some said they would "shout it from the roof tops." I wonder what they think after stories like this one.

am sure the most stubborn and or fool hardy would still go public

the smart ones know better

RedStang's avatarRedStang

All you have to do is dress up like rdgrnr and wear a yosemite sam backoff shirt. One look and they will just walk away.

hearsetrax's avatarhearsetrax

Quote: Originally posted by RedStang on Mar 11, 2012

All you have to do is dress up like rdgrnr and wear a yosemite sam backoff shirt. One look and they will just walk away.

yeah laughing

rdgrnr's avatarrdgrnr

Quote: Originally posted by RedStang on Mar 11, 2012

All you have to do is dress up like rdgrnr and wear a yosemite sam backoff shirt. One look and they will just walk away.

Dadgum straight, I gotta git me one of them shirts.

mediabrat's avatarmediabrat

Quote: Originally posted by hearsetrax on Mar 11, 2012

am sure the most stubborn and or fool hardy would still go public

the smart ones know better

Or they live in a state where you have no choice but to have a press conference.

LucyMontgomery's avatarLucyMontgomery

Quote: Originally posted by Littleoldlady on Mar 5, 2012

You don't even have to win the lottery for these folks to come out.  You just need to make a decent amount of money.  People put their hands out for "gimmee, lend me, can you spare?" all of the time.  What amazes me is that when they get their hands on some money..they can't remember "those bills" that they owe.  They burn through their cash and then think that you should give yours to them.

All of this is so true. It scares me. I don't want to think of this as a gift and a curse, but it could surely end up that way. That's why no one will know, maybe one person whom has guarded my darkest secret and trust the must...but he's not even family lol. Other than that, its my investment and i won it fair and square!

TigerAngel's avatarTigerAngel

I already have my press confrence speech written.

It goes like this...

"To all my friends and family that have been supportive of me , I say thank you and there will be a little something extra in your Christmas stocking this year. And to my friends and family that have not been supportive of me in thinner times, I say, na na nah na na !!!"

josie kat

mum's the word. tell no one... peoiple lose life long friends and money can be a powerful motivator.

I failed to understand why these winners feel the need to talk... keep ur mouth shut & handle your biz accordingly.

Want to share the good news? Send a bunch of checks to your favorit charities and they wuld be Delighted.  Party

Spread the joy and abundance. Sun Smiley

NJJim's avatarNJJim

This is a topic that I've thought a lot about.  I cannot say exactly how I would react to the begging. So many folks are out of work, yet so many also think that you owe them something simply because you won the money, and will be mad because they are jealous.   Any services I get from companies, they'll think they should be able to over charge.    First, I would fear for my childrens' safety - we would have to move to a gated housing arrangement,  and put them in schools that have some special security.

rdgrnr's avatarrdgrnr

Quote: Originally posted by josie kat on Mar 12, 2012

mum's the word. tell no one... peoiple lose life long friends and money can be a powerful motivator.

I failed to understand why these winners feel the need to talk... keep ur mouth shut & handle your biz accordingly.

Want to share the good news? Send a bunch of checks to your favorit charities and they wuld be Delighted.  Party

Spread the joy and abundance. Sun Smiley

"I failed to understand why these winners feel the need to talk..."

Some people feel the need to strut their stuff even when they ain't got any stuff to strut.

And having newly acquired big bucks would only exacerbate that problem.

CDanaT's avatarCDanaT

At least she wrote a paperback book on some of issues that come with winning. Could always be read before turning in the winning ticket

dk1421's avatardk1421

Quote: Originally posted by RJOh on Mar 7, 2012

Numbers 1. and 2. I might do but those letters might make a nice read for folks interested in those kinds of things.  I would published them in a book "Letters to a lottery jackpot winner".  I could have a best seller, right up there with the Harry Potter books.   I would remove the names to protect the innocents.

You know, there are several books out there that run in the same vein. You COULD do that - and make sure all proceeds go to your favorite charity.

maggieg's avatarmaggieg

I think that she was selfish not to help her friend.  If one of my friends hit for millions, I would hope that they would share without me having to ask.  She enjoys others doing things for her, but she will not help others, she is all for herself and should be all by herself.

sunjune6's avatarsunjune6

You got to be kidding! Woopie wish she looks that good. Are you blind or what?

Simba774

I wonder what Chris Shaw has been up to? I'm guessing he's doing way better than me. Anyway, congrats  to this woman, but NEVER go on television! If you want a peaceful life after the big windfall stay out of the spotlight. Now, I know some family and friends are going to show their other side, but the problem is you can't hide it from them, so "no" becomes your favorite word.

rdgrnr's avatarrdgrnr

Quote: Originally posted by maggieg on Mar 13, 2012

I think that she was selfish not to help her friend.  If one of my friends hit for millions, I would hope that they would share without me having to ask.  She enjoys others doing things for her, but she will not help others, she is all for herself and should be all by herself.

That was a phony friend.

PrisonerSix

My wife and I joke about if we win, the first rule is anyone who asks us for money isn't getting a dime.

Artist77's avatarArtist77

I really love the idea about writing a book with "letters to a lottery winner".  I think it would do well. I would buy it. I have written a couple of art/academic type books (not in the category of "the Hunger games" by any means, but what is,  but they are published by a real non-vanity publisher).  You could include some followup research with the letter writers (i.e. check out their claims like this woman did and find out some interesting details...all names kept anonymous of course). If I ever win, I will do this for sure.

Don't you think if you have a lottery win, this all dies down in a couple of months? (99% of it). I know you still have to always be on your guard.

kapla

Quote: Originally posted by Babel on Mar 7, 2012

Unfortunately they end up dealing with leaches of a different sort. I used to work in Sun Valley, Idaho which is such an area. Lots of Hollywood types, Microsoft millionaires, etc. Bruce Willis lives there full time and ownes several businesses in the area. Arnold Schwarzenegger has a place there, his billionaire neighbor refers to him as the poor foreign guy with the tiny house next door. Most of the businesses that provide services to the rich up there are all run by crooks. They mainly hire illegal immigrants, bill for workers that wern't on site and for extra hours the job didn't take, things like that.

I've always thought if I won a big pile one of my investments would be in my own firm up there. I'd love to run all those guys out of business by charging honest rates and treating workers fairly. I bet you could make a very nice profit at the same time too.

Great post! Nice to see someone talk about wanting to run an honest business Thumbs Up

Nikkicute's avatarNikkicute

If one person wins this MegaMillions $500 million and counting jackpot, what happened to this women

will look like a walk in the park compared to the people that would come after the new winner.

tntea's avatartntea

I wouldn't expect a thing from a friend if they won the lottery. Just like I don't expect any thing from a friend who works for money. Why do people want what others have??????

 

For fun, hubby and I discuss who we would give money to and who we wouldn't. It comes down to which friends need it.  We have lots of wealthy friends.  They wouldn't need anything if we win as they don't need anything now.

My family wouldn't need anything more than we have now if our friends hit the big one.  We would love to go and help them celebrate if they throw a party.  We go to their parties anyway...and we would like usual take gifts.

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