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Money and Trust

Topic closed. 20 replies. Last post 2 years ago by Jamtastic.

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United States
Member #136507
December 12, 2012
55 Posts
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Posted: September 26, 2014, 4:40 pm - IP Logged

As the topic title says, this is something that had been on my mind as of late and so far the negatives of becoming rich are something I cannot find a solution to. Forgive me if this topic has been done before.

You can never predict how someone will react. Even someone you've known for years turning on you. Most of my family is already not on good speaking terms so that would exacerbate what's already wrong. This extends to my associates as I feel they might try and mooch. So I know I cant trust anyone, I dont want anyone to find out because I know its going to turn out bad with people turning on me.

So I was going to try to fit in with the crowd, I feel that could work for a time. The issue in lies when I actually do start buying nice stuff. I have my eye on a nice house and car that I want. It doesn't seem much like an issue until I start dealing with regular people. You live in a completely different world when you become rich, your not normal anymore. And I suppose this wouldn't be an issue if I didn't get a really nice place; but I really want it. If anyone normal person saw my house they would immediately know I have money.

So here in lies my issue, I cant trust anybody. I cant have people over to my house; especially not my family; not even my associates. Because I know they'll start asking for stuff or its going to turn into something worse.

The only thing I can think of is cutting off everyone as a solution...

Now I could get by, by not letting anyone know. If no one knew everything would be ok. But in the scenario where I run into somebody I knew and they asked me where I was living and asked to stop by what would I do?

Having a fake home is a lot of hassle and that lie could unravel. It would be weird to not just tell them because thats what every normal person does because they have nothing to hide. It puts you in such a bind. I have thought this over many times and I think the best thing that could happen is just not let anyone know. Not having friends is fine with me, I like being alone. I was thinking maybe even just avoiding everyone I knew and be in places away from them and places they'll never be. I guess just like those lotto winners who had to skip town because it got so bad.

I still cant think of a solution of where I dont have to destroy every relationship around me. Because I do like being alone, I just dont like peoples bull. So what would you do in a scenario where you were rich and you had people around you, you know you couldn't trust?

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    Sunny California
    United States
    Member #40295
    May 31, 2006
    7712 Posts
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    Posted: September 26, 2014, 4:58 pm - IP Logged

    I would worry about that only when I had that big fat check in my hands. No sense thinking about it now.

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      Member #136507
      December 12, 2012
      55 Posts
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      Posted: September 26, 2014, 5:15 pm - IP Logged

      You know your right, I'm worrying to much about the future. I need to get back in the present. If that horrible situation does happen I'll blow a big puff of cigar smoke in their faces cause with that much money you dont give a crap what anyone thinks of youSleepy

        AaronTheGreat's avatar - images q=tbn:ANd9GcSDtm-Zi_7HYWE6twScyomGewwtVxzvcLKMMvZcHdADgJIC
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        On Top of The World!
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        Member #149192
        November 22, 2013
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        Posted: September 26, 2014, 5:22 pm - IP Logged

        I would worry about that only when I had that big fat check in my hands. No sense thinking about it now.

        I agree.  Spending time worrying about things that may never come to pass, cause you to lose focus on what matters TODAY.  In the meantime, the focus should be on the nucleus of the problem.  What's caused the distrust, how to overcome it, who you CAN trust.  If it's your pet hamster, then so be it!  Those thoughts start the process of "healing".

        I know it's hard, but you know you.  Don't let other peoples lives and views dictate your future (unless you're still holding a bottle).  If you were rich, then live "rich" in yourself.  NEVER NEVER give the power to others and their situations to steal YOUR life away.  Just make that decision to do you regardless.  I don't think you should have anything but a small group of friends, family, and associates that you can wholeheartedly trust anyway.  Heck, I don't even trust myself in all areas.

        You might be the next big winner... just to have your character tested.  We go through things in life for a reason.  Your "richness" just might be work on someone else life... like bring the family closer together etc.  You never really know, so don't worry. 

        Worry is cancer of the soul.

        Life is good... take full advantage of it!

          hearsetrax's avatar - 0118

          United States
          Member #52345
          May 21, 2007
          2657 Posts
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          Posted: September 26, 2014, 6:03 pm - IP Logged

          I agree.  Spending time worrying about things that may never come to pass, cause you to lose focus on what matters TODAY.  In the meantime, the focus should be on the nucleus of the problem.  What's caused the distrust, how to overcome it, who you CAN trust.  If it's your pet hamster, then so be it!  Those thoughts start the process of "healing".

          I know it's hard, but you know you.  Don't let other peoples lives and views dictate your future (unless you're still holding a bottle).  If you were rich, then live "rich" in yourself.  NEVER NEVER give the power to others and their situations to steal YOUR life away.  Just make that decision to do you regardless.  I don't think you should have anything but a small group of friends, family, and associates that you can wholeheartedly trust anyway.  Heck, I don't even trust myself in all areas.

          You might be the next big winner... just to have your character tested.  We go through things in life for a reason.  Your "richness" just might be work on someone else life... like bring the family closer together etc.  You never really know, so don't worry. 

          Worry is cancer of the soul.

          I Agree!

          just my $.02 .....

           

          as i've often told others :

           

          " the best ways to add a few years to one's life follow these few bits of simple advice" :

          1. never let a day pass with out pranking  or scaring the bleep out of someone for the purest grins of it
          2. surround your self with actually useful friends and then add the dozen of those folks that are a dozen and one times stranger then yourself ....... for they are the added bits of security
          3. remember to count your few and many blessings,starting with the smallest and easiest to over look or seem more like curses in disguise
          4. learn to laugh especially when you don't feel like it and yes by all things holy and not this includes funerals of the insufferable or just plain stupid
          5. when in doubt aim for the stars and pray like the devil was at the door
          6. trust is earned NEVER AN AUTOMATIC GIVEN

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            South Carolina
            United States
            Member #18322
            July 9, 2005
            1704 Posts
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            Posted: September 26, 2014, 7:58 pm - IP Logged

            As the topic title says, this is something that had been on my mind as of late and so far the negatives of becoming rich are something I cannot find a solution to. Forgive me if this topic has been done before.

            You can never predict how someone will react. Even someone you've known for years turning on you. Most of my family is already not on good speaking terms so that would exacerbate what's already wrong. This extends to my associates as I feel they might try and mooch. So I know I cant trust anyone, I dont want anyone to find out because I know its going to turn out bad with people turning on me.

            So I was going to try to fit in with the crowd, I feel that could work for a time. The issue in lies when I actually do start buying nice stuff. I have my eye on a nice house and car that I want. It doesn't seem much like an issue until I start dealing with regular people. You live in a completely different world when you become rich, your not normal anymore. And I suppose this wouldn't be an issue if I didn't get a really nice place; but I really want it. If anyone normal person saw my house they would immediately know I have money.

            So here in lies my issue, I cant trust anybody. I cant have people over to my house; especially not my family; not even my associates. Because I know they'll start asking for stuff or its going to turn into something worse.

            The only thing I can think of is cutting off everyone as a solution...

            Now I could get by, by not letting anyone know. If no one knew everything would be ok. But in the scenario where I run into somebody I knew and they asked me where I was living and asked to stop by what would I do?

            Having a fake home is a lot of hassle and that lie could unravel. It would be weird to not just tell them because thats what every normal person does because they have nothing to hide. It puts you in such a bind. I have thought this over many times and I think the best thing that could happen is just not let anyone know. Not having friends is fine with me, I like being alone. I was thinking maybe even just avoiding everyone I knew and be in places away from them and places they'll never be. I guess just like those lotto winners who had to skip town because it got so bad.

            I still cant think of a solution of where I dont have to destroy every relationship around me. Because I do like being alone, I just dont like peoples bull. So what would you do in a scenario where you were rich and you had people around you, you know you couldn't trust?

            You have issues with TRUST. Do you think you might need THERAPY ???

              CDanaT's avatar - tiger avatar_04_hd_pictures_169016.jpg
              TX
              United States
              Member #121193
              January 4, 2012
              1637 Posts
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              Posted: September 26, 2014, 8:12 pm - IP Logged

              As the topic title says, this is something that had been on my mind as of late and so far the negatives of becoming rich are something I cannot find a solution to. Forgive me if this topic has been done before.

              You can never predict how someone will react. Even someone you've known for years turning on you. Most of my family is already not on good speaking terms so that would exacerbate what's already wrong. This extends to my associates as I feel they might try and mooch. So I know I cant trust anyone, I dont want anyone to find out because I know its going to turn out bad with people turning on me.

              So I was going to try to fit in with the crowd, I feel that could work for a time. The issue in lies when I actually do start buying nice stuff. I have my eye on a nice house and car that I want. It doesn't seem much like an issue until I start dealing with regular people. You live in a completely different world when you become rich, your not normal anymore. And I suppose this wouldn't be an issue if I didn't get a really nice place; but I really want it. If anyone normal person saw my house they would immediately know I have money.

              So here in lies my issue, I cant trust anybody. I cant have people over to my house; especially not my family; not even my associates. Because I know they'll start asking for stuff or its going to turn into something worse.

              The only thing I can think of is cutting off everyone as a solution...

              Now I could get by, by not letting anyone know. If no one knew everything would be ok. But in the scenario where I run into somebody I knew and they asked me where I was living and asked to stop by what would I do?

              Having a fake home is a lot of hassle and that lie could unravel. It would be weird to not just tell them because thats what every normal person does because they have nothing to hide. It puts you in such a bind. I have thought this over many times and I think the best thing that could happen is just not let anyone know. Not having friends is fine with me, I like being alone. I was thinking maybe even just avoiding everyone I knew and be in places away from them and places they'll never be. I guess just like those lotto winners who had to skip town because it got so bad.

              I still cant think of a solution of where I dont have to destroy every relationship around me. Because I do like being alone, I just dont like peoples bull. So what would you do in a scenario where you were rich and you had people around you, you know you couldn't trust?

              Have no worries "Goon".....The time for dealing with that is after you have collected and relocated. My suggestion is getting a P.O Box mailing address at a campground a few hundred miles away from the nearest relative. Purchase a used camper and put it on the lot. Make it look as though as you are there with a nice used $800 beater type car. Heck, put up a homeless person there who might scare the livin h*ll outta someone who came by. Give em enough cash to buy groceries/supplies/living expenses every month. With that kind of money from a large jackpot why worry about the cost ?? Make a game out of it !!! I know I would enjoy doing that to a few relatives should they come a calling.  ROFL

              Stay Positive, Believe and good things will come your way

                Avatar
                Bay Area, California
                United States
                Member #154225
                April 8, 2014
                49 Posts
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                Posted: September 26, 2014, 8:24 pm - IP Logged

                Just remember "more money, more problems". Sudden wealth will not solve all of your problems and it will certainly create some new ones as well.

                Being rich is not like being a god, you still are human and you still have to deal with other people who may be untrustworthy and deceitful, except now you have painted a large target on your head due to your wealth. 

                Keep in mind that winning the lottery can provide some comfort and security but it will not guarantee happiness and many former lottery winners can confirm that.

                Big wins are called "life changing" for a reason. They come with a lot of new responsibilities and problems. It sounds like you might be happier winning a smaller amount that would improve your life without radically changing it.

                  PeerGynt's avatar - nw archer.jpg
                  Simi Valley, CA
                  United States
                  Member #156940
                  July 4, 2014
                  668 Posts
                  Offline
                  Posted: September 26, 2014, 8:26 pm - IP Logged

                  As the topic title says, this is something that had been on my mind as of late and so far the negatives of becoming rich are something I cannot find a solution to. Forgive me if this topic has been done before.

                  You can never predict how someone will react. Even someone you've known for years turning on you. Most of my family is already not on good speaking terms so that would exacerbate what's already wrong. This extends to my associates as I feel they might try and mooch. So I know I cant trust anyone, I dont want anyone to find out because I know its going to turn out bad with people turning on me.

                  So I was going to try to fit in with the crowd, I feel that could work for a time. The issue in lies when I actually do start buying nice stuff. I have my eye on a nice house and car that I want. It doesn't seem much like an issue until I start dealing with regular people. You live in a completely different world when you become rich, your not normal anymore. And I suppose this wouldn't be an issue if I didn't get a really nice place; but I really want it. If anyone normal person saw my house they would immediately know I have money.

                  So here in lies my issue, I cant trust anybody. I cant have people over to my house; especially not my family; not even my associates. Because I know they'll start asking for stuff or its going to turn into something worse.

                  The only thing I can think of is cutting off everyone as a solution...

                  Now I could get by, by not letting anyone know. If no one knew everything would be ok. But in the scenario where I run into somebody I knew and they asked me where I was living and asked to stop by what would I do?

                  Having a fake home is a lot of hassle and that lie could unravel. It would be weird to not just tell them because thats what every normal person does because they have nothing to hide. It puts you in such a bind. I have thought this over many times and I think the best thing that could happen is just not let anyone know. Not having friends is fine with me, I like being alone. I was thinking maybe even just avoiding everyone I knew and be in places away from them and places they'll never be. I guess just like those lotto winners who had to skip town because it got so bad.

                  I still cant think of a solution of where I dont have to destroy every relationship around me. Because I do like being alone, I just dont like peoples bull. So what would you do in a scenario where you were rich and you had people around you, you know you couldn't trust?

                  Why don't you let your friends and family know right now how you feel? Before it becomes a problem at all?

                  I'm sure it'll give them so many warm fuzzies inside, that they'll be totally understanding, once you score your big win.

                  Good luck! Jester

                  We have no dreams at all, or interesting ones. We should learn to be awake the same way—not at all, or in an interesting manner.   -- Friedrich Nietzsche


                    United States
                    Member #128790
                    June 2, 2012
                    5431 Posts
                    Offline
                    Posted: September 26, 2014, 9:39 pm - IP Logged

                    As the topic title says, this is something that had been on my mind as of late and so far the negatives of becoming rich are something I cannot find a solution to. Forgive me if this topic has been done before.

                    You can never predict how someone will react. Even someone you've known for years turning on you. Most of my family is already not on good speaking terms so that would exacerbate what's already wrong. This extends to my associates as I feel they might try and mooch. So I know I cant trust anyone, I dont want anyone to find out because I know its going to turn out bad with people turning on me.

                    So I was going to try to fit in with the crowd, I feel that could work for a time. The issue in lies when I actually do start buying nice stuff. I have my eye on a nice house and car that I want. It doesn't seem much like an issue until I start dealing with regular people. You live in a completely different world when you become rich, your not normal anymore. And I suppose this wouldn't be an issue if I didn't get a really nice place; but I really want it. If anyone normal person saw my house they would immediately know I have money.

                    So here in lies my issue, I cant trust anybody. I cant have people over to my house; especially not my family; not even my associates. Because I know they'll start asking for stuff or its going to turn into something worse.

                    The only thing I can think of is cutting off everyone as a solution...

                    Now I could get by, by not letting anyone know. If no one knew everything would be ok. But in the scenario where I run into somebody I knew and they asked me where I was living and asked to stop by what would I do?

                    Having a fake home is a lot of hassle and that lie could unravel. It would be weird to not just tell them because thats what every normal person does because they have nothing to hide. It puts you in such a bind. I have thought this over many times and I think the best thing that could happen is just not let anyone know. Not having friends is fine with me, I like being alone. I was thinking maybe even just avoiding everyone I knew and be in places away from them and places they'll never be. I guess just like those lotto winners who had to skip town because it got so bad.

                    I still cant think of a solution of where I dont have to destroy every relationship around me. Because I do like being alone, I just dont like peoples bull. So what would you do in a scenario where you were rich and you had people around you, you know you couldn't trust?

                    So what would you do in a scenario where you were rich and you had people around you, you know you couldn't trust?

                     

                    There's a 99.9% chance I won't win a major JP in my lifetime, so I don't worry about what I'd do If I won a large JP. 

                    Crazy

                      emilyg's avatar - cat anm.gif

                      United States
                      Member #14
                      November 9, 2001
                      31343 Posts
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                      Posted: September 26, 2014, 9:48 pm - IP Logged

                      No point in worrying about things that might never happen.  Life is short.  Don't waste your energy.

                      Believe in probabilities not possibilities.

                      love to nibble those micey feet.

                       

                                                   

                        sully16's avatar - sharan
                        Ringleader
                        Michigan
                        United States
                        Member #81740
                        October 28, 2009
                        40339 Posts
                        Offline
                        Posted: September 26, 2014, 10:55 pm - IP Logged

                        As the topic title says, this is something that had been on my mind as of late and so far the negatives of becoming rich are something I cannot find a solution to. Forgive me if this topic has been done before.

                        You can never predict how someone will react. Even someone you've known for years turning on you. Most of my family is already not on good speaking terms so that would exacerbate what's already wrong. This extends to my associates as I feel they might try and mooch. So I know I cant trust anyone, I dont want anyone to find out because I know its going to turn out bad with people turning on me.

                        So I was going to try to fit in with the crowd, I feel that could work for a time. The issue in lies when I actually do start buying nice stuff. I have my eye on a nice house and car that I want. It doesn't seem much like an issue until I start dealing with regular people. You live in a completely different world when you become rich, your not normal anymore. And I suppose this wouldn't be an issue if I didn't get a really nice place; but I really want it. If anyone normal person saw my house they would immediately know I have money.

                        So here in lies my issue, I cant trust anybody. I cant have people over to my house; especially not my family; not even my associates. Because I know they'll start asking for stuff or its going to turn into something worse.

                        The only thing I can think of is cutting off everyone as a solution...

                        Now I could get by, by not letting anyone know. If no one knew everything would be ok. But in the scenario where I run into somebody I knew and they asked me where I was living and asked to stop by what would I do?

                        Having a fake home is a lot of hassle and that lie could unravel. It would be weird to not just tell them because thats what every normal person does because they have nothing to hide. It puts you in such a bind. I have thought this over many times and I think the best thing that could happen is just not let anyone know. Not having friends is fine with me, I like being alone. I was thinking maybe even just avoiding everyone I knew and be in places away from them and places they'll never be. I guess just like those lotto winners who had to skip town because it got so bad.

                        I still cant think of a solution of where I dont have to destroy every relationship around me. Because I do like being alone, I just dont like peoples bull. So what would you do in a scenario where you were rich and you had people around you, you know you couldn't trust?

                        Start with some soul searching and be honest with yourself.

                        Write your thoughts on paper, put them away for a week and go back and read them, see how it makes you feel.

                        Only you can create a positive atmosphere for your life and that starts with getting rid of the negative or teaching yourself how to deal with the not so pleasant aspects of your life.

                        Best wishes, 

                         

                        Me.

                        Did you exchange a walk on part in the war ?

                        For a lead role in a cage?

                         

                                                                    From Pink Floyd's " Wish you were here"

                          dr65's avatar - black panther.jpg
                          Pennsylvania
                          United States
                          Member #74096
                          May 2, 2009
                          22861 Posts
                          Offline
                          Posted: September 27, 2014, 6:18 am - IP Logged

                          Think about but don't obsess over it right now.

                          Just realize that if you do win you will have all kinds of questions and requests. Your family will change and so will

                          your friends. Before your win, you were just like or worse off than them. When you win you're instantly someone

                          to compete with, be envious of, get angry at and feel contempt for. Some won't show it but silently challenge you to

                          'do the right thing' in their eyes and when you don't, that's when the snide remarks come and the insults and things

                          come out they would never say when they thought they had a chance of getting something from you.

                          Most people are jealous and greedy, as long as it's them that has, they're on cloud 9 but still wondering who is coming

                          to take it away from them. Generous people are a blessing but there are few. Generosity when you're poor is different

                          than when you're rich. When you have money, you have to guard against everyone using you and assuming you're

                          there for them when they need you..*cough*..your money.

                          All your relationships will change in some way. You are right not to trust anyone. Family members who hated you

                          will be cozying up to you, friends will be making remarks and looking hopeful too and anyone you were close to

                          will either pass the test or not. Money brings out true colors. Most everyone wants it but everyone doesn't have

                          it. I wouldn't be the least bit sorry about telling certain people to get out of my life especially if they change after

                          you win. Live the way you want, act the way you want, don't feel you have to hide when you win, what fun is that?

                          It will be mighty uncomfortable for awhile but the way you handle yourself after you win is up to you - you aren't

                          under contract to help the world, your friends or your family. Cut the amount of friends you have down by 80% and

                          write off another 50% of family..then another 25% later on because that's where you'll be. Expect not much more

                          than you and your money but how is that so bad when one day you'll be able to just live peacefully and comfortably

                          without anyone asking you for anything? Time makes people forget a few things and others it just builds more

                          resentment. Hey if you find out people are like that after you win, they were like that before you won but just didn't

                          show it. Tolerance is easy when you're equal, it's the instant riches that most people can't stand because they want

                          it, you have it and they don't have it. All of a sudden you're an instant ATM and even if they don't outright ask, they

                          are thinking about it and that changes everything too.

                          I'd get away from people but not so far away it makes me live in a way I don't want to live. Learn to say no

                          and don't open mail and screen calls and tell people to take a leap. Everyone says winning a big amount of money

                          is a major headache. Sooner or later that headache will go away. The cure for it is going to be in your hands.

                          Happy winnings!

                            ThatScaryChick's avatar - x1MqPuM
                            Idaho
                            United States
                            Member #56506
                            November 21, 2007
                            6537 Posts
                            Offline
                            Posted: September 27, 2014, 1:06 pm - IP Logged

                            No point in worrying about things that might never happen.  Life is short.  Don't waste your energy.

                            Believe in probabilities not possibilities.

                            I agree. Yes Nod

                            Wait to worry until after you win.

                            "No one remembers the person who almost climbed the mountain, only the person who eventually gets to the top."

                              Lucky Loser's avatar - bucks
                              Texas
                              United States
                              Member #86154
                              January 30, 2010
                              1648 Posts
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                              Posted: September 27, 2014, 1:17 pm - IP Logged

                              Very interesting thread here and I personally feel dr65 nailed it from top to bottom. Having access to more money than others in your circle of friends/family can be a challenge but, it only becomes a headache if you allow it to.

                               

                              L.L.

                              Small games, frequent wins, and regular payouts 'cause.....

                              There are seven days in the week...'Someday' isn't one of them.

                              #lotto-4-a-living