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The ugly side of the win. How would you deal with close family and friends who...?

Topic closed. 62 replies. Last post 10 months ago by maoer!.

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MegaWinner's avatar - Lottery-029.jpg
New Jersey
United States
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March 3, 2007
348 Posts
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Posted: January 18, 2016, 8:52 am - IP Logged

The ugly side of the win.  How would you feel and deal with very close family and friends who've been normal for as long as you've known them who now all of a sudden, want to spend, count, and control your new wealth? Because they are so close to you, they believe they are entitled to a MUCH larger "gift" than you were thinking of giving them.  They also think just because you all are so  close, you MUST invest in whatever hair brained scheme they come up with, because, after all, you are rich and that (insert $$$ amount here) they are asking for is nothing for someone like you.

Or your mother, father, or brothers or sisters, or even children thinking you should DIVIDE the entire jackpot evenly amongst the family.  How would you handle that?  Remember, these are folks who for all intents and purposes are there for you all your life.  But you feel their new requests are a bit much and selfish.

Would love to hear your responses.

Sun Smiley I got my fingers crossed ready to win!!! Sun Smiley

    MegaWinner's avatar - Lottery-029.jpg
    New Jersey
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    Posted: January 18, 2016, 9:03 am - IP Logged

    I believe this is a HUGE part of why so many jackpot winners go broke within a few years.  Their family and friends all think they won too and they are quick to try and guilt you into spending your money the way they want to.  When you buy a house, they want a new house too.  When you buy a car, they want a new car too.  When you go shopping, of course, they want to tag along and of course they will want stuff too. 

    I don't mean the normal people who wouldn't accept anything in excess or be sitting there with a puppy dog face or trying to guilt you into buying the same Rolex for them that you just bought for yourself.  I'm talking about the other kind of people.  The ones with the greedy gimmies.

    Sun Smiley I got my fingers crossed ready to win!!! Sun Smiley

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      London
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      March 24, 2013
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      Posted: January 18, 2016, 9:44 am - IP Logged

      Nope, no way I am giving any 'loans' or gifts to anyone......

      The only person I would gift something to is my Mum.

      2016 Won/Lost

      EuroMillions / Spent: £22 / Won £0 / Total -£22

      UK Lotto / Spent: £4 / Won: £0 / Total: -£4

      2016 Total: -£24

      Jan: -£22 Feb: £0 ~ Mar: £0 ~ April: £0 ~ May: £0 ~ June: £0 ~ July: £2

       

      EuroMillions = £2 Line / Played: x11 [old price] 

      EuroMillions = £2.50 Line / Played: x0

      UK Lotto = £2 Line / Played x2

        savagegoose's avatar - ProfilePho
        adelaide sa
        Australia
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        April 11, 2006
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        Posted: January 18, 2016, 9:51 am - IP Logged

        I have already promised cars to 2 people, i guess  ill know how much of a win  they  consider large enough to get that car, im thinking the US power ball jackpot. I dont have any close family or friends who my money is any of their business now,. ill give what i give, which is $1m trust money paying them a monthly  allowance. and thats just family. ohh and thats also based on a massive powerball win, AUST or US powerball

        2014 = -1016; 2015= -1409; 2016 JAN = -106; FEB= -81; MAR= -131; APR= - 87: MAY= -91; JUN= -39; JUL=-134; AUG= -124; SEP = -123; OCT= -84  NOV=- 73 TOT= -3498

        keno historic = -2291 ; 2015= -603; 2016= JAN=-32, FEB= +12 , MAR= -86, APR = -77. MAY= -48, JUN= -29, JUL=-71; AUG = -52; SEPT= -43; OCT = +56 NOV = -33 TOT= -3297

          MegaWinner's avatar - Lottery-029.jpg
          New Jersey
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          Posted: January 18, 2016, 10:19 am - IP Logged

          I have a distant cousin who came into a $300k windfall (from an accident lawsuit) when she was 17.  Her mother, who everyone thought was the sweetest and most kindest person you'd ever meet, completely guilted my cousin into blowing it all.  Her mother RENTED a home for $2500 per month (this was in the early 90's), bought a brand new Nissan maxima, furnished that house with furniture rented from Rent a Center, bought herself a new wardrobe and jewelery, and lavished her no good boyfriend (whom my cousin absolutely hated) with gifts as well.  She bought my cousin (with her money) a few new outfits and that's it.  To this day, my cousin doesn't speak to her mom.

          Sun Smiley I got my fingers crossed ready to win!!! Sun Smiley

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            London
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            March 24, 2013
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            Posted: January 18, 2016, 10:23 am - IP Logged

            I have a distant cousin who came into a $300k windfall (from an accident lawsuit) when she was 17.  Her mother, who everyone thought was the sweetest and most kindest person you'd ever meet, completely guilted my cousin into blowing it all.  Her mother RENTED a home for $2500 per month (this was in the early 90's), bought a brand new Nissan maxima, furnished that house with furniture rented from Rent a Center, bought herself a new wardrobe and jewelery, and lavished her no good boyfriend (whom my cousin absolutely hated) with gifts as well.  She bought my cousin (with her money) a few new outfits and that's it.  To this day, my cousin doesn't speak to her mom.

            Greed changes people... Unhappy

            2016 Won/Lost

            EuroMillions / Spent: £22 / Won £0 / Total -£22

            UK Lotto / Spent: £4 / Won: £0 / Total: -£4

            2016 Total: -£24

            Jan: -£22 Feb: £0 ~ Mar: £0 ~ April: £0 ~ May: £0 ~ June: £0 ~ July: £2

             

            EuroMillions = £2 Line / Played: x11 [old price] 

            EuroMillions = £2.50 Line / Played: x0

            UK Lotto = £2 Line / Played x2

              zephbe's avatar - animal butterfly.jpg
              South Carolina
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              July 15, 2009
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              Posted: January 18, 2016, 10:34 am - IP Logged

              Just tell the ones who are bold enough to ask-I'm sorry, I took the annuity and all requests are being handled my attorney Algonquin J. Calhoun. Wink  and then I'd see if they are silly enough to try to find him--Green laugh

               

              The ones I want to give something will get the $14,000 gift.

              Every champion was once a contender who refused to give up.-Rocky Balboa

              “Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.” – Zig Ziglar

                MegaWinner's avatar - Lottery-029.jpg
                New Jersey
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                Posted: January 18, 2016, 11:03 am - IP Logged

                Just tell the ones who are bold enough to ask-I'm sorry, I took the annuity and all requests are being handled my attorney Algonquin J. Calhoun. Wink  and then I'd see if they are silly enough to try to find him--Green laugh

                 

                The ones I want to give something will get the $14,000 gift.

                Algonquin J Calhoun...  I swear that made my day!  I'm laughing soooo hard over here!

                Sun Smiley I got my fingers crossed ready to win!!! Sun Smiley

                  Candlelight777's avatar - nw saucyelf.jpg
                  Indiana
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                  Posted: January 18, 2016, 11:28 am - IP Logged

                  I really do hate these kinds of threads..they always assume the worst in people and don't like reading how winners are going to stick it to them and set them straight. A lot of people, yes your family and friends, are struggling and having a hard time..it's only natural if you win millions or even a billion that they could only  hope you would help them out...that doesn't make them a bad person for hoping you will or asking.

                  All too often we never hear about those kinds of friends and family members...it's alway those other ones who a potential lottery winner will set straight. It's just a debbie downer to read the negative attitudes towards those less fortunate.

                  "Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip, conflict calms down.

                  Like adding charcoal to embers or wood to fire, quarrelsome people kindle strife."

                  Proverbs 26: 20-21

                    music*'s avatar - nw bookeep.jpg
                    Happy California
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                    Posted: January 18, 2016, 11:31 am - IP Logged

                     Sudden money changes people. 

                      Here in the U.S., you are allowed by the IRS to gift $14,000.00 to anyone gift tax free. If you are married then that amount doubles to $28,000.00  When you give more than that you will owe gift tax which could be 40% or more.

                     This is when you need professional help from Tax Attorneys, accountants, and Certified Public Accountants. Just call the IRS if you have questions.

                     It has been noted before that 70% of lottery winners run through their winnings within five years. We can now count Cynthia Stafford as another statistic. She has declared bankruptcy.

                     It took ten years for Sharon Terrabassi from Canada to blow it all. She is now taking the bus to a low wage job. 

                     Why? Why do sane winners do this to themselves?

                     I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better. 

                     Attributed to Joe E. Lewis and others

                      HoLeeKau's avatar - YheaShea
                      Idaho
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                      Posted: January 18, 2016, 11:44 am - IP Logged

                      I had to look up Sharon.  Sounds like other people had a big hand in the demise of her bank account including the parties and handouts and loans which weren't repaid.

                      It happened to Sharon Tirabassi, a 35 year-old resident of Hamilton, Ontario. Nine years ago, The Hamilton Spectator reports, Tirabassi cashed a check from the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corp. for $10,569,00.10 (Canadian). Today, after spending almost all her winnings -- "big house, fancy cars, designer clothes, lavish parties exotic trips, handouts to family, loans to friends" -- she's back in the working class: riding the bus, working part-time, living in a rented house.

                        Raven62's avatar - binary
                        New Jersey
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                        Posted: January 18, 2016, 11:51 am - IP Logged

                        I really do hate these kinds of threads..they always assume the worst in people and don't like reading how winners are going to stick it to them and set them straight. A lot of people, yes your family and friends, are struggling and having a hard time..it's only natural if you win millions or even a billion that they could only  hope you would help them out...that doesn't make them a bad person for hoping you will or asking.

                        All too often we never hear about those kinds of friends and family members...it's alway those other ones who a potential lottery winner will set straight. It's just a debbie downer to read the negative attitudes towards those less fortunate.

                        I Agree! Without first hand experience the suppositions are nothing more than fiction.

                        A mind once stretched by a new idea never returns to its original dimensions!

                          Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
                          Zeta Reticuli Star System
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                          January 17, 2006
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                          Posted: January 18, 2016, 11:52 am - IP Logged

                          On one of the TLCML shoes a jackpot winner said she gave several people $1M each.......and every one of them blew it all and came back asking for more.

                          ____________________________

                          Candlelight777,

                          Sometimes when people come into a major score people that aren't really hurting will act like they are to put the bite on the person who came into the money.

                          Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

                          Lep

                          There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.

                            zephbe's avatar - animal butterfly.jpg
                            South Carolina
                            United States
                            Member #77167
                            July 15, 2009
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                            Posted: January 18, 2016, 11:55 am - IP Logged

                            I really do hate these kinds of threads..they always assume the worst in people and don't like reading how winners are going to stick it to them and set them straight. A lot of people, yes your family and friends, are struggling and having a hard time..it's only natural if you win millions or even a billion that they could only  hope you would help them out...that doesn't make them a bad person for hoping you will or asking.

                            All too often we never hear about those kinds of friends and family members...it's alway those other ones who a potential lottery winner will set straight. It's just a debbie downer to read the negative attitudes towards those less fortunate.

                            When I play the lottery I'm not doing it to bail out all of my family and friends.  I have over 30 first cousins.  I don't know how large your family is.  My sister, brother, daughter I would share with.  The cousins I'm close to will get the $14,000.  A lot of lottery winners are broke helping family and friends.

                            Every champion was once a contender who refused to give up.-Rocky Balboa

                            “Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of going after yours.” – Zig Ziglar

                              MegaWinner's avatar - Lottery-029.jpg
                              New Jersey
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                              Posted: January 18, 2016, 12:37 pm - IP Logged

                              Sorry for the negative vibe.  However, I've seen this happen before with my cousin, and my best friend who won $10,000 on a scratch off (I didn't ask for a penny!).  Again, it was only $10k and his cousins were asking him to throw parties and bbq's and planning NY shopping trips all with HIS money.  It was painful to see. So I'm a little leary about how people around me would behave if I won, especially a minimum jackpot.  I absolutely would help my immediate family and best friends, but maybe not the amount some would expect.  Tis all, not trying to assume everyone is a gremlin and that there aren't good folks out there.  :-)

                               

                              Edit: I also have a very large family.  I know for a fact I'd have cousins whom I've never met asking for money.

                              Sun Smiley I got my fingers crossed ready to win!!! Sun Smiley