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The ugly side of the win. How would you deal with close family and friends who...?

Topic closed. 62 replies. Last post 10 months ago by maoer!.

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HoLeeKau's avatar - YheaShea
Idaho
United States
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July 17, 2010
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Posted: January 18, 2016, 12:41 pm - IP Logged

On one of the TLCML shoes a jackpot winner said she gave several people $1M each.......and every one of them blew it all and came back asking for more.

____________________________

Candlelight777,

Sometimes when people come into a major score people that aren't really hurting will act like they are to put the bite on the person who came into the money.

Candlelight777,

Sometimes when people come into a major score people that aren't really hurting will act like they are to put the bite on the person who came into the money.

 

Just ran into a story about Sandra Hayes who won around 6 mil after taxes playing in a pool.  She said a neighbor she'd known for decades came and told her she was several years behind on property taxes and she was going to lose her house if she didn't pay NOW.

Sandra's response?  She went online and looked it up.  It's all online now.  She found this woman's taxes were up to date, she printed it out, highlighted this woman's property, and she MAILED it to her.  LOL  I love you Sandra and I want to be just like you!

    Lynn-Lynn's avatar - yocco
    Kansas city Mo
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    Posted: January 18, 2016, 12:59 pm - IP Logged

    I would help by making sure that if any of the kids in the family wanted to go to college. Help pay some houses off. But they are going to need to keep working. I'm a family with 10 brother and sister and we all have children. And i would help the church.

      ArizonaDream's avatar - Lottery-009.jpg

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      October 10, 2015
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      Posted: January 18, 2016, 2:50 pm - IP Logged

       It has been noted before that 70% of lottery winners run through their winnings within five years.

      I'd sure like to know where that number came from. Sometimes it's 5 years, sometimes 7 years, but no one ever gives an original source for the number. Remember, 85% of all statistics are mde up on the spot. 

       

      I guess in the context of this thread, I'm lucky I have only a small number of people I'm close enough to that Im concerned about helping out financially. Relatives I've had no contact with in over 25 years are strangers to me and will be treated as such.  I'd say the 3 or 4 people I want to be generous with are level headed types and no more likely to "blow it all" than I am.

        RJOh's avatar - chipmunk
        mid-Ohio
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        Posted: January 18, 2016, 3:00 pm - IP Logged

        "I'd sure like to know where that number came from."

        You've been here long enough to know many posters don't waste time researching facts when they can just make them up. Wink

         * you don't need to buy more tickets, just buy a winning ticket * 
           
                     Evil Looking       

          music*'s avatar - nw bookeep.jpg
          Happy California
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          August 2, 2014
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          Posted: January 18, 2016, 3:05 pm - IP Logged

           It has been noted before that 70% of lottery winners run through their winnings within five years.

          I'd sure like to know where that number came from. Sometimes it's 5 years, sometimes 7 years, but no one ever gives an original source for the number. Remember, 85% of all statistics are mde up on the spot. 

           

          I guess in the context of this thread, I'm lucky I have only a small number of people I'm close enough to that Im concerned about helping out financially. Relatives I've had no contact with in over 25 years are strangers to me and will be treated as such.  I'd say the 3 or 4 people I want to be generous with are level headed types and no more likely to "blow it all" than I am.

           70% of persons coming into a large sum of money lose it all in about five years. This includes former sports stars. NFL, NBA, Baseball, and others.

           Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. Smart athletes who are now prospering. Same with Lottery winners.

           Have you ever heard of author Don McNay? His books include the sources of this statement.

          US Flag

           I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better. 

           Attributed to Joe E. Lewis and others

            music*'s avatar - nw bookeep.jpg
            Happy California
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            Posted: January 18, 2016, 3:15 pm - IP Logged

             Don McNay has written,"Life Lessons from the Lottery". On page 9, he reports that the National Endowment for the Financial Education said," 70% who receive a lump sum from any source run through it in a few years"

             In Don McNay's book, "Death by Lottery" on page 6 he writes,"Oregon attorney and fellow director of the Society of Settlement Planners Jeremy Babener has convinced me that 70 percent is a more accurate number.

             I hope that this helps.Patriot

             I've been rich and I've been poor. Believe me, rich is better. 

             Attributed to Joe E. Lewis and others

              ArizonaDream's avatar - Lottery-009.jpg

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              Posted: January 18, 2016, 3:29 pm - IP Logged

               Have you ever heard of author Don McNay? His books include the sources of this statement.

              Thanks for the reference. A couple of his books are on Kindle Unlimited, so I will start reading very soon. 

                lulu1feather's avatar - 2uehclf
                Oregon
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                Posted: January 18, 2016, 3:29 pm - IP Logged

                My circle of friends has always been small and steady, because I'm just not a very social person.(We are talking small. 4 friends & 2 family members) Those friends know my lottery daydreams about as vividly as I do, because it's just fun to dream out loud with people who share similar interests with you. I genuinely don't feel those people would ask me for a dime. That being said, I am sure they know that it would be my nature, and my absolute pleasure, to (given the opportunity) give them gifts that were well thought out, just for them. I know they would be appreciative. I know they would do the same for me. We have had eachothers backs as we have all had highs and lows, riches and debt.

                Anyone else besides that circle that would come knocking for a dime, can expect a blank stare followed by an effortless "No".

                I would love to be able to help my close family and friends reduce their stress, but still live their lives as normal. Maybe its as simple as starting a college fund for their kid(s), or maybe they just really needed a more reliable vehicle. 

                I would be as selfish as I needed to be to not squander the wealth, and I would take into consideration what I am capable of giving while being within my means.

                A the end of the day, my friends and I just want a covered arena to ride our horses at in the winter, and a way to keep our critters out of the mud. And I would be glad to let them "take advantage" of me by having them over all the time to enjoy it. And maybe they get cooler birthday and Christmas presents? I would be filled with joy to be able to do little things like that.

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                  Posted: January 18, 2016, 5:52 pm - IP Logged

                  "I really do hate these kinds of threads"

                  Lots of people have a problem with some aspect of reality.

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                    Posted: January 18, 2016, 6:13 pm - IP Logged

                    If I won a lot of money, I intend to be generous. However being generous is not the same as being foolish with your money.

                      amber123's avatar - OpIFNim

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                      Posted: January 18, 2016, 6:55 pm - IP Logged

                      The remaining family members are so poor, I wouldn't have any issues helping them out.  Believe me, they'd be ecstatic If I gave them only 2 grand each. Green laugh

                        BuyLow's avatar - palm tree.jpg
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                        Posted: January 18, 2016, 7:09 pm - IP Logged

                        I love to be generous and help others.  With that said, I am not afraid to say NO to any long lost friends/relatives/etc who mysteriously come out of the woodwork and I would let those I choose to help know how much/when I will be helping them and that I AM NOT an ATM otherwise. That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.

                          noise-gate's avatar - images q=tbn:ANd9GcR91HDs4UJhjxO7cmeMQWZ5lB_FOcMLOGicau4V74R45tDgPWrr
                          Bay Area - California
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                          Posted: January 18, 2016, 7:38 pm - IP Logged

                          All l am going to say is you ought to Vet your current friends & from time to time bring up the" what if's" with family members. If in the future you hit it- you hold their feet to the fire on what they said, especially if they said "  it's your money & you can do what you want with it." Thankfully l do not have family or close friends that would attempt to pull thatBS. Most of my current friends l have known since l was about 10 years old. We have traveled abroad together & have a close bond with each other. None have ever to my knowledge attempted to take advantage of others. This taking advantage of others would probably apply to thee, but definitely not to me.Big Smile

                          People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it- George Bernard Shaw.

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                            Arizona
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                            Posted: January 18, 2016, 7:59 pm - IP Logged

                            My parents frequently told us (half-jokingly) as we were growing up that they expected their children to support them in their old age. I've seen the numbers on their retirement planning, so I know they don't need it desperately, but if I win big, I'll be glad to supplement their retirement income to the tune of $14,000/year each.

                            If my brothers get pushy, I can remind them that I haven't heard a word from them in the last five years except that one time at Thanksgiving.

                            I have maybe three friends who I wouldn't hesitate to help out. The rest... well, like my brothers, maybe they should have kept in touch.

                            I'd probably be willing to help out most of my aunts, uncles, and first cousins - once. I'd make it quite clear that it won't be an ongoing thing.

                            More distant relatives may get a few dollars if they can help out with my genealogy work.

                              sookie's avatar - nw femalewiz.jpg

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                              Posted: January 18, 2016, 8:15 pm - IP Logged

                              I've already figured it out.  My siblings will get a set amount and that's all. If they turn their nose up at the amount then it will be put in trust for them for a year and if they still are having a fit then it will go to someone else.  Trust me that will end that. To be honest I know they'd be happy with whatever I set up for them and depending on how much I win they'd never have to work again.

                              i know of one person in my family that will want it divided evenly among everyone even though they don't play.  I laughed in their face when they said it and flat told them no.  They know I play and have said as much to me. 

                              My parents will be well cared for and my siblings.  My close friend made a comment the other day when it was high that no matter what she'd take care if me if she wins, when i just nodded she said you don't feel the same?  I said, no.  You care for family.  She agreed toward the end but I think she was shocked.

                              This is why I will claim anonymous and not tell anyone.  I'd just move and that be then end of it.