angelm's Blog

Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.

Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."

Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".

Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy."

N.M. court refuses obscene name change

SANTA FE, N.M. - A New Mexico appeals court on Friday ruled against a Los Alamos man who wanted to change his name to a phrase containing a popular four-letter obscenity.

The man appealed after a state district judge in Bernalillo County refused his request to change his name to "F--- Censorship!"

Judge Nan Nash ruled that the proposed name change was "obscene, offensive and would not comport with common decency."

The man � whose current legal name is Variable � argued on appeal that it was improper government censorship to deny him the name change.

"We do not believe that the district court's action infringes on petitioner's right to free speech," a three-judge panel of the Court of Appeals said in its ruling.

The man has the right to call himself whatever he wants, unless there's fraud or misrepresentation involved, the judges said.

But once he seeks court approval for a name change, the court has the authority to turn him down on several grounds, including if the name is offensive to common decency and good taste, the judges ruled.

That law was clarified in a 2004 case in the same court that apparently involved the same petitioner. In that case, an Albuquerque man whose name was Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokiligon got the go-ahead from the appeals court to change his name to Variable.

Wash. dentist's staff saddles up to beat gas costs

ARLINGTON, Wash. - When gas prices hit $4 a gallon, the staff at Dr. Keith Leonard's dental office figured it was time to pony up.

Since more than half of the dental assistants and office staff own horses, on Wednesday the crew saddled up and rode in to work.

"We decided that when gas got to $4 a gallon, we would all ride in," Leonard said.

Ten riders and two bicyclists met up at Leonard's home about four miles north of his office for the commute. City officials in Arlington, located about 50 miles north of Seattle, granted them a special permit to ride as a group.

"We can't dictate how much oil companies charge, but today we're not buying," Leonard said. "We're using one-horse power."

Leonard said the ride was a way to encourage his patients to use alternative forms of transportation.

Apple Pie in a Jar Drink

INGREDIENTS
1 gallon apple cider
1 gallon apple juice
6 (3 inch) cinnamon sticks
1 1/2 cups white sugar, or to taste
1 (1 liter) bottle 190 proof grain alcohol

DIRECTIONS
Place the apple cider, apple juice, cinnamon sticks, and sugar into a large pot. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring until the sugar has dissolved. Remove from the heat, and discard the cinnamon sticks. Allow the mixture to cool to room temperature, then stir in the grain alcohol. Pour into quart-size canning jars, seal with the lids and rings, and refrigerate until ready to serve.

OREO� and Fudge Ice Cream Cake
INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup hot fudge ice cream topping, warmed
1 (8 ounce) tub COOL WHIP Whipped Topping, thawed, divided
1 pkg. (4 serving size) JELL-O Chocolate Flavor Instant Pudding & Pie Filling
8 OREO Chocolate Sandwich Cookies, chopped
12 vanilla ice cream sandwiches, unwrapped

DIRECTIONS
Pour fudge topping into medium bowl. Add 1 cup of the whipped topping; stir with wire whisk until well blended. Add dry pudding mix; stir 2 min. or until well blended. Gently stir in chopped cookies; set aside.
Arrange 4 of the ice cream sandwiches, side-by-side, on 24-inch-long piece of foil; top with half of the whipped topping mixture. Repeat layers. Top with remaining 4 ice cream sandwiches. Frost top and sides of dessert with remaining whipped topping. Bring up foil sides. Double fold top and ends to loosely seal packet.
Freeze at least 4 hours before serving. Store leftover dessert in freezer.

KELLOGG'S* RICE KRISPIES* Brownies

INGREDIENTS
3 cups KELLOGG'S* RICE KRISPIES* cereal, crushed
2 cups granulated sugar
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup cocoa
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup chopped pecans or walnuts
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup skim milk
1 teaspoon vanilla

DIRECTIONS
In large bowl mix together crushed cereal, sugar, flour, cocoa, salt and pecans. Add oil, eggs, milk and vanilla. Mix just until combined. Spread evenly in 33x23 cm (13x9-inch) baking pan.
Bake at 180 degrees C (350 degrees F) about 25 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in centre comes out clean. (Do not overbake.) Cool completely on wire rack before cutting into squares. Store in tightly covered container at room temperature.
Note:

KELLOGG'S* RICE KRISPIES* Gold Medal Sundae SUBMITTED BY: KELLOGG'S* RICE KRISPIES*
"Frozen yogurt atop a crispy treat, drizzled with strawberry syrup and a maraschino cherry makes a pretty, prize-winning dessert."

INGREDIENTS
1/4 cup margarine or butter
1 (10 ounce) package regular marshmallows
6 cups KELLOGG'S* RICE KRISPIES* cereal
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract (optional)
3 cups frozen yogurt
3/4 cup strawberry ice cream topping
12 maraschino cherries

DIRECTIONS
In a large microwave safe bowl, heat margarine and marshmallows at HIGH for 3 minutes, stirring after 2 minutes.
Stir in KELLOGG'S* RICE KRISPIES* cereal until well coated. Using lightly buttered spatula, press into buttered 3.5 L (13 x 9-inch) pan.
Allow mixture to cool slightly. Using a round cookie cutter, cut into round medal shapes. Top with 1/4 cup frozen yogurt. Drizzle one tablespoon over the yogurt and top with a maraschino cherry.

Life in outer space? Astronomers hunt aliens

TOKYO (Reuters) - Japan's biggest astronomical observatories are teaming up for an unprecedented quest to find out whether there is life in outer space.

The project, led by Japanese astronomers, will bring together a dozen or more observatories from all over the country to study one star that researchers see as a potential home to an extraterrestrial civilization.

"Everyone wonders at least once in their lifetime whether space is infinite and whether aliens really do exist," said Shinya Narusawa, chief researcher at Nishi-Harima Astronomical Observatory in western Japan.

The search for aliens and UFOs is not new to Japan. Last year, unidentified flying objects grabbed the headlines after a lawmaker submitted a question to the cabinet on whether the country had confirmed any cases of their existence. The government's answer: no.

In the scientific world, Japanese researchers have used antennas to catch radio signals from outer space and analyzed the prisms of celestial lights to see if any laser emissions from space can be found, Narusawa said.

Their searches have not been too fruitful so far. The new project will involve multiple astronomers filming one star over several nights some time next year, along with the usual light analysis and recording of radio signals.

"When there are some suspicious signals, sometimes it's hard to tell whether they are artificial ones coming from the earth, for example from machines, or whether they are coming from the stars in the natural world," Narusawa said.

With multiple participants observing one star, it will be easier to check on whether the signals received are actually from the natural world, he said, adding that they have not decided on which star to observe.

The participants are realistic about the slim chance of encountering signals from outer space during the short experiment, but they see a larger significance.

"By thinking about outer space, we hope this will be an opportunity where people can re-appreciate the earth and human beings," Narusawa said.

Ex-cook pleads guilty to putting hair in steak 

WEST BEND, Wis. - A former restaurant cook has pleaded guilty to a food-tampering charge alleging he inserted hairs in a steak before giving it to a dissatisfied customer. Ryan Kropp, 24, of West Bend, was fired along with another cook after the incident Feb. 23 at the Texas Roadhouse restaurant.

Kropp was charged in Washington County Circuit Court with a felony of placing foreign objects in edibles, carrying up to 3 1/2 years in prison.

After his guilty plea Thursday, Judge James Muehlbauer scheduled sentencing Aug. 12.

The criminal complaint said that when a manager asked a customer how his steak was, the customer said it was somewhat overdone, although he had almost finished eating it and refused an offer of a new steak.

But the manager insisted on having Kropp prepare a new steak the way the customer wanted it, medium rare, so that he could take it home.

The customer called the restaurant and police after finding hair as he was eating the steak the next day.

According to the complaint, a second kitchen worker told police Kropp had put a slit in the cooked steak and pushed something inside, then stated, "These are my pubes," referring to pubic hair.

Kropp told police he put a few of his facial hairs on the steak, saying he was angry the customer sent the other steak back and thought he was "just trying to get free stuff," the complaint said.

A phone number for Kropp had been disconnected when The Associated Press tried to reach him for comment Thursday night.

Black Cat

A mathematician, a theoretical economist and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesn't really exist) in a closed room with the lights off:
The mathematician gets crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn't exist inside the darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital.

The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn't exist inside the darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to describe all his movements with extreme accuracy.

The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spend one hour looking for the black cat that doesn't exits and shouts from inside the room that he has it catched by the neck."

Russian spa opens monument to the enema

MOSCOW - A monument to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk. The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800 pounds and is held by three angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa, the spa's director said Thursday.

"There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art," Alexander Kharchenko told The Associated Press. "An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

The Caucasus Mountains region is known for dozens of spas where enemas with water from mineral springs are routinely administered to treat digestive and other complaints.

Kharchenko, 50, said the monument cost $42,000 and was installed in a square in front of his spa on Wednesday. A banner declaring: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas" � an allusion to a line from "The Twelve Chairs," a famous Soviet film comedy � was posted on one of the spa's walls.

Sculptor Svetlana Avakina said she designed the 5-foot-high monument with "irony and humor" and modeled the angels on those in works by Italian Renaissance painter Alessandro Botticelli.

"This device is eternal, it will never change," she told the AP. "We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors."

Dozens of monuments dedicated to characters from tall tales and popular jokes have been erected in post-Soviet Russia.

Norway arrests woman for carrying cocaine in wig

OSLO, Norway - A British woman's bulging wig did not fool customs agents in Norway who realized she wasn't just having a bad hair day. The wig was concealing 2.2 pounds of cocaine glued to her head and customs agents detained her on suspicion of cocaine smuggling, authorities said Wednesday.

The 32-year-old suspect, whose name was withheld, arrived late Sunday at Vaernes airport near the city of Trondheim on a flight from Copenhagen, Denmark, the customs service said.

"The agent thought she had a great deal of hair and suspected that she was wearing a wig," the agency said. "The wig was examined and the agents found a bag of cocaine."

Norway's largest newspaper, Verdens Gang, said the cocaine was glued so firmly to the woman's real hair that police brought her to the local hospital to have it removed.

Kjetil Mjoesund, of Trondheim police, confirmed that it was glued to her head, but had no information about how it was removed. He said she was taken for a routine medical check.

A court ordered the women held until July 15, pending a formal indictment and trial.

Chase turns sour for lemonade stand robber

TERRE HAUTE, Ind. - Call it a lemonade standoff. A young girl whose lemonade stand was robbed of $17.50 chased the suspect into a nearby home and called police, who spent nearly an hour trying to coax the man into surrendering.

"The guy came up and was, like, 'Give me your money,'" said Dominique Morefield, who was running the lemonade stand with a group of friends. "I was shocked. It was just my immediate reaction to chase after him."

Dominique dashed after the man who ran into a house, and then she called police. Officers eventually persuaded Steve Tryon, 18, to come outside after 45 minutes and arrested him on a preliminary felony charge of robbery.

Tryon was jailed and was scheduled to appear in court Tuesday. The Vigo County prosecutor's office did not immediately know if he had an attorney.

"I didn't think anyone would come up to a lemonade stand and steal, that's really low," 12-year-old Fred Erstine said.

The kids said they would continue to sell lemonade, but with an adult's supervision.

Feds say man wore diaper full of heroin

NEW ORLEANS - Frank Keys Jr. faces up to 40 years in prison after he was found cruising down the highway with more than 200 grams of heroin in the diaper he was wearing, federal officials said.

Keys, 38, of New Orleans was charged Friday by a federal grand jury. He got in trouble June 3 in St. John the Baptist Parish, north of New Orleans, when sheriff's deputies pulled over the car he was in for a traffic violation, according to court documents.

The deputies and Drug Enforcement Agency special agents got permission to search the car, and a drug sniffing dog alerted them to the car's passenger side.

The occupants were ordered out of the car, and patted down. During the pat-down, "officers felt a large hard object in the pants area on Keys," according to a news release from the U.S. Attorney's office.

Keys told officers he was wearing a diaper and when they asked if there was anything in the diaper, he "shook his head affirmatively."

Officers then removed a package containing about 257 grams of heroin from the diaper.

Stories regarding fear of Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th is considered unlucky because 13 people were known to be present in The Last Supper of Jesus, who was crucified on the day of Good Friday.

Another belief says that there is a Norse Myth, which says about twelve Gods dining together in Valhalla. At this point, the ill-prankished Loki just rumbled inside the party as the uninvited 13th guest.

Loki arranged to welcome Hod, the blind God of darkness who was made to throw a branch of mistletoe at Balder � the God of gladness and joyousness.

As a result, Balder was killed on the spot and in consequence, the Earth was forced into long lasting bereavement and darkness.

On Friday the 13th, in October 1307, Philip IV of France took under custody hundreds of French Knights Templar for the collection of wealth for the French treasury.

The firstborns of Egypt died on Friday the 13th according to the Jewish calendar.