ochoop17's Blog

What five States share a border with Virginia ?

I am mother and father, but never birth or nurse. I'm rarely still, but I never wander. What am I?

• Super Bowl Fun -- A guy named Joe received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Joe arrived at the stadium, he realized the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium, and that he's closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Joe saw through his binoculars an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yardline. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sat down, Joe asked the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"
  
  

The man said "No." Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Joe again inquired of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?!" The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together at since we got married in 1967." "Well, that's really sad," said Joe, "but still, you couldn't find anyone to take the seat? A friend or close relative?" "No," the man replied, "They're all at the funeral."

In what year did the first Vice presidential debate take place?

What odd number becomes even when beheaded?

Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows

In what year was the Internet Movie Data (IMDb) created ?

I can sizzle like bacon,
I am made with an egg,
I have plenty of backbone, but lack a good leg,
I peel layers like onions, but still remain whole,
I can be long, like a flagpole, yet fit in a hole.

What am I?

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, " And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

He sat down. The head elder then stood and announced, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn 365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

In what year did the TV series " Route 66 " premiere on CBS ?

I do not hold the desert, only a sample. My innards descend ever so slowly.... But in time I am turned over to begin again. What am I?

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.  He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

"What’s up?" he asks.

"I’m having a heart attack!" cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he is dialing, his 4-year old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s  hiding in your wardrobe and he’s got no clothes on!"

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his  brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.

‘’You b*****d," says the husband. "My wife is having a heart attack and you’re running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!"

How did Meriwether Lewis (of the Lewis and Clark Expedition) die ?

Lighter than what I am made of More of me is hidden Than is seen. What am I?

An engineering student is walking along when a fellow student arrives on a new bicycle. Impressed, he asks, "Where did you got this beautiful bicycle?"

"Well," the second engineering student says, "A couple of days ago I was just walking along when this georgeous blonde pulls up, hops off the bike, rips off all her clothes, and says 'take what you want'."

The other engineering student nods and says "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."