ochoop17's Blog

Anthony Munoz is known for playing what sport ?

I am slim and tall,
Many find me desirable and appealing.
They touch me and I give a false good feeling.
Once I shine in splendor,
But only once and then no more.
For many I am "to die for".
What am I?

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

Who is the Secretary of Treasury ?

What can't be used unless broken?

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!!--Anonymous

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. --Agatha Christie

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. --Oscar Wilde

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer. --Anonymous

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. --H. L. Mencken

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. --Anonymous

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car or the wife is new. --Anonymous

When a man is single, he's incomplete. When he's married, he's finished. --Anonymous

In 1909, the newly opened Indianapolis Motor Speedway held its first event, a series of ______ races.

What’s better than the best thing and worse than the worst thing?

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.
"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

Who wrote the words to " America The Beautiful " ?

I am weightless, but you can see me. Put me in a bucket, and I'll make it lighter. What am I ?

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.”

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!” As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed… “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!” She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly
departed…

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?” The other answered, “I don’t know – I thought you were watching.”

Who founded Ebony Magazine ?

You can make me
You can take me
You can watch me
But you can never stop me.... What am I?

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, "Well, you've been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven." Davidson thinks about it and says, "I wanna hang out with God, Himself."
The befeathered fellow at the gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God. Arthur then asks God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of Woman?" God says, "Ah, yes." "Well," says Davidson, "You have some major design flaws in your invention: One, there's too much front-end protrusion Two, it chatters at high speeds. Three, the rear end wobbles too much. Four, the intake is placed too close to the exhaust."

"Hmmm..." replies God, "hold on." God goes to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the result. The computer prints out a slip of paper and God reads it. "It may be that my invention is flawed," God tells Arthur Davidson, "but according to My Computer, more people are riding my invention than yours."