uncertainty
there is uncertainty in the air.ever wonder where the world is headed? is the united states getting weaker or stronger? are we staying about the same? there are a lot of unanswered questions and not a lot of answers.it remains to be seen how and where george bush has put us as far as our status and place in the world.a lot has changed in this new millineium with all the natural disasters,terrorist attacks and wars.in the last five years since 9/11 i have worried more than ever before.the rules changed that day.my life,yours and everybodys will never be the same regardless.i have children and i wonder what in the world their life will be like twenty years from now.will there even be a twenty years from now?? makes you think long and hard.you see i don't have a skill or a trade.the thing is there is hardly any job loyalty anymore.my father runs this in the ground with me but fails to see that it doesn't pay like it used to to be a company man.they will downsize,move,go out of business in a heartbeat because its a much faster paced world now.there is not as much importance placed on the individual or loyalty.scary to think that my main talent lies in the gambling sector and that just got uncertain too with the passage of the united states internet gambling act.so i guess i could get loans and go to school.between two kids and working a night security job sixty hours a week and living paycheck to paycheck there is not much time for school by the time i work,sleep and do errands.add to that living in one of the nicest areas of the city when i moved here a couple years ago and its now turning bad due to what i call seedy people that are slowly but surely taking over and thats another thing i want to shield my kids from.i'm not all gloom and doom and know i will make it but the question is how much blood,sweat and tears wil it take.there will always be twists and turns in the road of life and sometimes there will be smooth sailing and other times there will be major tune ups to made.wish i would've started getting serious ten years ago instead of now but my priorities were different then compared to now.never planned on having kids and i've never been married although been with the same person ten years this coming june.just when you think you have life figured out you get a couple curve balls to keep things interesting.i don't regret having children although that does makes things that much harder but i wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.after all its not about me anymore.......
