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Welfare Office
Welfare Office A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, Hi, you know, I just hate drawing welfare. i'd really rather hav...
Dec 22, 2007, 4:23 pm - muddywaters

When He Died
When He Died Lights are flashing, people are dashing, it's so cold out it would kill a snowman, Cash register's ringing, Caroler's singing, and a man digs through a trash can. Everyone's shopping, nobody's stopping, as he holds out the paper cup he's found, With holiday cheer, filling the air, he begs from his seat on the cold ground. Music is playing, everyone's saying, Merry Christmas and oh yes Happy New Year, Y...
Dec 12, 2007, 9:54 pm - angelm

Fighting the Flu Bugs
My immune system is pretty beat up from stress and, for the first time in several years, I'm battling viral bugs left and right very early in this season. This is totally out of character for me. I may get sick, 1 whopper, once a year but picking up every bug that comes down the pike is not my norm. I read an article about gargling with green tea. The kicker in this is that I really really dislike tea in...
Nov 25, 2007, 10:50 am - Jake

Doctor Visit
An older couple, both 67, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, What can I do for you? The man said, Will you watch us have sexual intercourse? The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. The doctor examined them and then directed them to disrobe and go at it. When the couple finished, the doctor reexamined them and, upon completion, advised the couple, Th...
Nov 2, 2007, 8:29 am - ochoop17

Welfare Check
Welfare Check! A Guy walked int...
Aug 17, 2007, 2:53 pm - Jani Norman

In Heaven
A Lawyer and the Pope Die and Go to Heaven A lawyer died. At the same moment, the Pope also died. They arrived at the gates of heaven at the same moment. They spend the day in orientation, and as they're getting their heavenly vestments, the Pope gets a plain white toga and wings, like everyone else, and the lawyer gets much finer apparel, made of gold thread, and Gucci shoes.Then,...
Aug 1, 2007, 10:21 am - stavros

Total Panic
As many members here already know, I have 4 combinations for FL Lotto that I've played religiously since 1994. Through rain, wind, hail and major hurricanes, I've never missed a drawing. This week my mind is somewhere on Neptune, and today I kept thinking it was Sunday all day. (ever happen to you on a holiday?) After I checked my raffle ticket this afternoon, I reminded myself that it was a Lotto night and put my plastic sleeve with my cards and a $5 bill in...
Jul 5, 2007, 1:03 am - justxploring

Thoughts for November 30 2K6
Well I have been trying to study the patterns and trends a lot lately, but my 11 month old is teething and he is driving me . I pray to my Creator that he/she does not go behind my back again and send me anymore children. I have 3 now and that is enough!!! Whatever happened to ask and ye shall receive?? No one called me and asked if the stork could come by, least of all af...
Nov 30, 2006, 10:16 pm - NBey6

New Jersey Lottery Sales Suspended Amid Budget Shutdown
So, I wake up this morning, put on the News and the first news flash I see is: "NEW JERSEY LOTTERY SUSPENDED AMID NEW JERSEY BUDGET SHUTDOWN"...SO i'm like - WHAT!!!! ... so just to see if it's "REALLY REAL", as a lottery store is located up the street from me, I rushed up there to see if I could even buy a one dollar scratch off and the guy told me: "sorry, all sales are suspended, until further notice" ... so now i'm back home, sitting in wonderment. I've also found out that all the Casinos...
Jul 3, 2006, 7:35 am - GoldenEgg

Bah Humbug
Around the holiday season, I am pretty much known for my ruther Bah Humbug attitude toward the whole general process. But this year, I tried to be a bit different. I actually encouraged my wife to get a new (prelit artificial) tree (artificial because she is alergic to the real tree). I even put out yard decorations for the first time in a very long time. But what struck me to post this comment was this. One of the yard decorations is an inflatable snowman that holds a banner. Now...
Dec 21, 2005, 11:22 am - SirMetro