A question about sharing your wealth with others.Prev Topic Next Topic

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Would you let others make you feel bad for not giving them any of your jackpot?

Yes

[ 5 ]

[ 8.2% ]

[ 56 ]

[ 91.8% ]

Total valid votes

[ 61 ]

Discarded votes

[ 1 ]

SirMetro

East of Atlanta
United States
Member #6,191
August 11, 2004
1,390 Posts
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Feb 3, 2007, 12:52 pm

Quote: Originally posted by justxploring on Feb 2, 2007
Be careful. Being vindictive might cause more problems than you expect.

Ah but the instant gratification one will enjoy can occasionally be worth the few problems a few well paid mercenaries can take care of for you.
I grew up on a farm. Many many times, when the crops such as peas, snap beans, corn or watermelons would become ready to harvest, I would watch many many times as my Mom would pick up the phone and call all the relatives and let them know they could come get as much as they would like to have at no cost. They only have to gather it. And everytime, they would tell her that they would be happy to get it "if she already had it gathered". Once, they even suggested she should have it cooked for them as well. And the most common excuse was "you live on a dirt road and I just washed my car". Of all the offers to anyone that wanted fresh vegtables, I only saw one neighbor put forth the effort to get anything.
Sharing of wealth isn't always about money or lottery. As you have read above, it could be virtually anything. Truth be told, I only know one of my neighbors and I couldn't even tell you their last name. But should any of my neighbors need assistance, I wouldn't hesitate to offer a helping hand where I could. Otherwise, my family and I tend to stay to ourselves. And when I do win the Lottery...odds are pretty good that my life wouldn't change too drastically because I would continue to stay the same way I am now.
RJOh

100

mid-Ohio
United States
Member #9
March 24, 2001
20,272 Posts
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Feb 3, 2007, 1:00 pm

Quote: Originally posted by lottolaughs on Feb 1, 2007
I'd have to say no. Many times I have asked my cousin for help in doing some tedious lottery data gathering so I could work on more important things and he has continually refused me even when I offered to pay him. So, when I win, I can't wait to share my good news with him. In fact, he will be the first person I call!

Your situation is not unique, most people don't have enough extra time or money to help their relatives and family members pursue their gambling or any other addictions. It's very selfish of you to expect them to do so. If you were really willing to pay for their help then you could have hired someone else and not asked them.
I've helped family members with money and time when they've asked and when they had extra money to spend their only thought was I should be happy for them and not expect to be repaid. They would think the same way even if they won a lottery jackpot.

* you don't need to buy every combination, just the winning ones *
justxploring

Wandering Aimlessly
United States
Member #25,359
November 5, 2005
4,461 Posts
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Feb 3, 2007, 1:17 pm

Quote: Originally posted by truecritic on Feb 3, 2007
I was taught by the "Little Red Hen"
Check Google if you don't remember that story.

Love the graphics! I once asked this question on LP but nobody answered.....was it Henny Penny or Chicken Little who said the sky is falling? I was told the Henny Penny story. She told Goosey Loosey who told Ducky Daddle and Foxy Woxy.
Maybe that's what is wrong with our world - blame it on the childhood books we read. Perhaps Macki the Iraqi told Condi Wondi who told Georgie Porgie that the sky is falling. He passed the info along to Dicky Licky but nobody seems to care.

(dphillips - agree with you about the animals in need. children also don't always have a voice.)
lottolaughs

Sunny California
United States
Member #40,294
May 31, 2006
9,088 Posts
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Feb 3, 2007, 2:09 pm

Quote: Originally posted by SirMetro on Feb 3, 2007
Ah but the instant gratification one will enjoy can occasionally be worth the few problems a few well paid mercenaries can take care of for you.
I grew up on a farm. Many many times, when the crops such as peas, snap beans, corn or watermelons would become ready to harvest, I would watch many many times as my Mom would pick up the phone and call all the relatives and let them know they could come get as much as they would like to have at no cost. They only have to gather it. And everytime, they would tell her that they would be happy to get it "if she already had it gathered". Once, they even suggested she should have it cooked for them as well. And the most common excuse was "you live on a dirt road and I just washed my car". Of all the offers to anyone that wanted fresh vegtables, I only saw one neighbor put forth the effort to get anything.
Sharing of wealth isn't always about money or lottery. As you have read above, it could be virtually anything. Truth be told, I only know one of my neighbors and I couldn't even tell you their last name. But should any of my neighbors need assistance, I wouldn't hesitate to offer a helping hand where I could. Otherwise, my family and I tend to stay to ourselves. And when I do win the Lottery...odds are pretty good that my life wouldn't change too drastically because I would continue to stay the same way I am now.

Sir Metro,you are right on! The instant gratification will be well worth it!
Guess I should've explained that my cousin is 41,lives with mommy and works a mere 12 hours a week in some dead end job. I was just trying to help him out. Why he wouldn't help me is derived from pure laziness. THAT is why winning will be so sweet!
justxploring

Wandering Aimlessly
United States
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November 5, 2005
4,461 Posts
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Feb 3, 2007, 3:38 pm

Quote: Originally posted by lottolaughs on Feb 3, 2007
Sir Metro,you are right on! The instant gratification will be well worth it!
Guess I should've explained that my cousin is 41,lives with mommy and works a mere 12 hours a week in some dead end job. I was just trying to help him out. Why he wouldn't help me is derived from pure laziness. THAT is why winning will be so sweet!

I would never call someone and say "I won the lottery and you're not getting any of it!" What's the point? Well, you have the right to act in whatever manner you please, but just remember that everything we do has its consequences. I can't understand why someone would do anything purely out of spite.
truecritic

Michigan
United States
Member #22,394
September 24, 2005
1,583 Posts
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Feb 3, 2007, 4:05 pm

"Henny Penny - Chicken Little - Goosey Loosey - Ducky Daddle - Foxy Woxy - Macki the Iraqi - Condi Wondi - Georgie Porgie - Dicky Licky"
I hope one of them didn't win the lottery - they don't plan on sharing any of it with anyone! Especially those last 4!
LckyLary

United States
Member #10,720
January 23, 2005
935 Posts
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Feb 3, 2007, 5:10 pm

Most people I know (in person) probably would help me in some way. People that help me now when they're not rich are most likely to share even more when they are. People that are rude to me now, I wouldn't expect anything from them other than hopefully they move far away, which would be reward enough! One thing is except for an extreme emergency I would NOT ask a friend or relative who won to help me with anything, if they wanted to on their own they would. i.e. I don't expect a new Hummer but be there if I were faced with some dire circumstances.
SirMetro

East of Atlanta
United States
Member #6,191
August 11, 2004
1,390 Posts
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Feb 3, 2007, 5:29 pm

Quote: Originally posted by justxploring on Feb 3, 2007
I would never call someone and say "I won the lottery and you're not getting any of it!" What's the point? Well, you have the right to act in whatever manner you please, but just remember that everything we do has its consequences. I can't understand why someone would do anything purely out of spite.

Nancy, if you have step-kids, ask them why they do the things out of spite that they do.
I have a step-daughter that has helped case-harden my resolve to always rub salt in the wound attitude whenever oppurtunity presents itself. At the end of what had been a fantastic day at the park, you get home only to get beat up (not physically, just verbally or just with her general attitude) because the step-kid had a good time that day and is feeling guilty because she is having a better time with the step-dad instead of her real dad.
Perhaps truth be told, those I didn't like, I most likely would never return their phone call, much less waste my time to tell them. And second for all those times I so dearly wanted to speak those four little words "I told you so", I stayed silent. Because on those rare occasions when she is telling someone that I am her dad or that she likes me more then her real dad and she doesn't think I will hear about it, I get to celebrate a little, because I know it's all been worth it.
And Nancy, keep this in mind. Sure, we would dearly love to tell off someone when an oppurtunity arise for us to extract a little revenge. But truth be told, I would think the majority of us would hold our tongue. Sure, we delight in writing about "how I would do it IF", but when reality steps in, silence can become louder then thunder.
justxploring

Wandering Aimlessly
United States
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November 5, 2005
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Feb 3, 2007, 5:39 pm

One thing I've learned is that people often get 2 words mixed up: WANT & NEED
You can put 2 couples side by side who make $75,000 a year. One couple will have a nice home and be financially secure with a savings account and an IRA and the other is deep in debt with bad credit. Sometimes it's just circumstance or bad luck that separates them, but often it's their spending habits. I don't know how a person determines neediness, but I suppose as long as you trust the people and your instincts, and you give from the heart, there should be no guilt feelings. (What am I saying? Guilt is embedded into my DNA.) In any case, nobody should ever give with expectations or strings attached.
TheGameGrl

A long and winding road
United States
Member #17,083
June 10, 2005
6,680 Posts
Online

Feb 3, 2007, 6:05 pm

The way I figure it, I shared my wealth with the government tax guy, so any folk want'n a handout can apply thru the federal programs . Thats what they are there for.
One can choose to feel guilty or one can choose to sit quietly and see the true colors of supposed friends and relatives.
I disagree that strings "arent attached to a gift. " In a puritan society yes wouldnt it be lovely if strings werent attached...but I learned along time ago that a gift given makes the receiver responsible for the item or gift. If they resell it or damage it deliberately with no regard for how endearing the item might have been ( sentimental value- a family ring.heirloom) I ask you...was there no string attached?. We as givers and receivers of gifts do have an obligation to at the very least Thank the person and regard the gift. What if you gave a gift to (insert a charity of your choice) and you found out that they used it for bahama vacations for its board members . Yes I know some of you would like to join that board, but the point is clear. Strings are attached.

Count your smiles.
Prob988

New Jersey
United States
Member #21,205
September 4, 2005
963 Posts
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Feb 3, 2007, 11:51 pm

Winning would definitely put me in touch with my deadbeat brother again.
It will be a delight to say no to him.
Basically, I'm investing the whole thing.
guesser

United States
Member #41,382
June 16, 2006
1,969 Posts
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Feb 4, 2007, 1:51 am

Speaking of step-kids, mine get zilch.
Because I am not their real dad, and they let me know it.
Both are in college at this time, one chose to live with their dad, the other stayed with us, we are paying her first year, after that she's on her own. I paid my way through college, I got the $20,000 in college debt, and I paid it all off in 10 years. Nobody co-signed for me.
Part two - when in college, I lived in a dorm, we had a small, quiet guy, a Vietnamese refugee, I learned so much from him, more than I already knew.
He had no family here, what he lived with in his dorm room was what he could fit into a backpack, and that was IT. He had a pair of shoes, socks, underwear, a couple of shirts and a couple of pairs or pants, toothbrush, and a clock-radio. NOTHING ELSE. Zilch. Nada. He didn't even have a winter jacket, just a windbreaker (trip to the second-hand store got him a jacket).
When they closed the dorm for Christmas break, he'd cram everything into his backpack, and live in the 'International House' for 3 weeks.
And my step-brats whine when cable is down, that they can only afford a 20 gig iPod, and one has THIRTY pairs of jeans she bought herself (she works part-time) - most at $60/pop. We bought her a used car when she was 16, now she's 18+, wants to buy a new car on her own, and thinks we are going to continue to pay for her college. She has not figured out that SHE needs to A) Pay for college, B) graduate, C) find a decent job, and then D) buy a new car. She had 2,000 minutes on her cell, and she goes over THAT..... I keep thinking of the refugee, and how 'tough' these brats think life is....
Yes, I'm venting.
justxploring

Wandering Aimlessly
United States
Member #25,359
November 5, 2005
4,461 Posts
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Feb 4, 2007, 3:45 am

What if you gave a gift to (insert a charity of your choice) and you found out that they used it for bahama vacations for its board members .
GameGrl, of course that would bother me! If I loaned a friend money for medication and he spent it on cigarettes or booze (or lottery tickets) I wouldn't be too pleased either. What I was saying is that we shouldn't give a gift with expectations that the recipient will act in a responsible manner or spend it the way we want. I definitely wasn't talking about an organized charity. If I gave money to a food bank, you can bet I'd make sure they used it to feed people. Regarding "a handout" there's a big difference between people who mooch off of the government and people who are genuinely needy. Often local towns have fundraisers to help others in the community. These people are always grateful. But lazy people don't deserve our charity. I have a neighbor who used to knock on my door and ask me for a ride all the time. For months I always said yes, but I'm not a taxi service and eventually asked her to take the bus.
We as givers and receivers of gifts do have an obligation to at the very least Thank the person and regard the gift.
Of course! I have lots of those stories. Once I gave a woman who worked in my building $20 because she said didn't have the copay to take her son to the doctor. A few weeks later she went to a very expensive concert. Do you think I ever gave her a dime after that? When I had a home, I let a friend sleep on my sofa when he was down on his luck. (or so he said) I didn't charge him for room or board. One Friday he cashed his check and took a wad of bills out of his pocket. My jaw dropped. He was taking home over $1,000 a week (this was in the 80s) He told me he was putting all his money away to buy a boat. I threw him out.
If I were in trouble and asked for help and someone gave me money for rent or food, then that's what I'd use it for and be very grateful someone cared enough. On the other hand if I got a nice present on my birthday (I would still be grateful and say thank you) but decided to take a vacation, it would be none of the giver's business. I guess we are talking about 2 different things. First of all, if I sent money to people I'm close to, I wouldn't consider my gifts to be handouts. Sometimes there's giving just because it feels good. All I was saying is that, if I gave friends and relatives money to enjoy their lives, I wouldn't be a control freak and tell them how to spend it.
guesser

United States
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June 16, 2006
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Feb 4, 2007, 2:00 pm

Quote: Originally posted by Lotterologist on Jan 31, 2007
Would I let other people make me feel bad for not giving them money? People don't control my emotions...I do. Family or not family, I would give to the godly man, but not the sinner. Don't cast your pearls before swines. They'll trample them and charge after you!

I used to think I controlled my own emotions, until my mother passed away, and until last month when one of my cats died....
justxploring

Wandering Aimlessly
United States
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November 5, 2005
4,461 Posts
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Feb 4, 2007, 2:28 pm

Quote: Originally posted by guesser on Feb 4, 2007
I used to think I controlled my own emotions, until my mother passed away, and until last month when one of my cats died....

Sorry for your loss, Guesser. Losing a loved one, human or pet, can be very painful. I don't think those emotions are meant to be hidden. Grieving is very important.

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