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Just for fun: Create tabloid headlines re: record jackpot

Topic closed. 35 replies. Last post 5 years ago by HiFi.

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Astekblue's avatar - Tarlor
Kentucky
United States
Member #35086
March 12, 2006
10374 Posts
Offline
Posted: March 30, 2012, 7:42 pm - IP Logged

" Large  Mega  Million   Jackpot   Won   By   Congress...........But   They   Loose  It   All     (  Through   Mismanagement  )  "

 

 

Later   Headlines  :

 

 

(  When  Questioned    About  It    Later........They   Couldnt   " Agree  "    On  Why  Or  How  They   Really  Lost   It  " )

 

(  Then   They   Appointed   A   Special   Committee........But  Even  They   Couldnt   Agree   On  How   They   Lost  It   All   )

 

 

(  It  Was   Discovered   Later.........That   It     Was    All    Given   Away   Too    Lobbyist  "  )

    JADELottery's avatar - YingYangYong 01.PNG
    The Quantum Master
    West Concord, MN
    United States
    Member #21
    December 7, 2001
    3684 Posts
    Offline
    Posted: March 30, 2012, 8:34 pm - IP Logged

    Congress Pool wins Mega Millions, immediately votes to pass tax break on Lottery Winnings.

    Presented 'AS IS' and for Entertainment Purposes Only.
    Any gain or loss is your responsibility.
    Use at your own risk.

    Order is a Subset of Chaos
    Knowledge is Beyond Belief
    Wisdom is Not Censored
    Douglas Paul Smallish
    Jehocifer

      LottoGuyBC's avatar - Lottery-050.jpg
      British Columbia
      Canada
      Member #116101
      September 4, 2011
      4033 Posts
      Offline
      Posted: March 30, 2012, 8:39 pm - IP Logged

      The Rich gets Richer. Record Jackpot won by Billionaire Thud

      "You have to be in it to win it!"

        GiveFive's avatar - Lottery-026.jpg
        NY State
        United States
        Member #92609
        June 10, 2010
        3817 Posts
        Offline
        Posted: March 30, 2012, 8:55 pm - IP Logged

        NYC SCREWBALL WINS MEGA!

           Buys Bridge in Brooklyn

        About playing the lottery --  You will lose more than you win. Until you hit a jackpot.  Then everything changes!

          savagegoose's avatar - ProfilePho
          adelaide sa
          Australia
          Member #37136
          April 11, 2006
          3316 Posts
          Offline
          Posted: March 30, 2012, 9:52 pm - IP Logged

          luckiest winner in world drove 200 miles to buy a ticket, then realised he forgot wallet.

          after going home and back, he left leaving ticket on counter.

          2014 = -1016; 2015= -1409; 2016  = -1171; 2017 = ?  TOT =  -3596

          keno historic = -2291 ; 2015= -603; 2016= -424; 2017 = ? TOT = - 3318

            Avatar
            NH
            United States
            Member #83352
            December 5, 2009
            223 Posts
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            Posted: March 31, 2012, 1:32 am - IP Logged

            Maryland man wins lotto and says he's buying the Baltimore Orioles.

              haymaker's avatar - Lottery-012.jpg
              Egg Harbor twp.south Jersey shore
              United States
              Member #112968
              June 29, 2011
              3857 Posts
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              Posted: March 31, 2012, 4:52 pm - IP Logged

              oboma's chief of staff wins MM,uses $ to pay off Mitt,Newt & Rick to dropout,

              Ron paul tells em, "stick where the sun don't shine i'am 76"

              LOL

              editor's note oboma's chief of staff lives near milford maryland.

              Extraordinary Popular Delusions & the Madness of Crowds    -- Charles Mackay  LL.D.


                United States
                Member #111442
                May 25, 2011
                6323 Posts
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                Posted: March 31, 2012, 5:01 pm - IP Logged

                Government out of cash, Jackpot winner paid in Buttons.

                Considering our crappy economy, this could actually happen in the very near future.  Green laughCan never have enough buttons I always say!    No Nod


                  United States
                  Member #111442
                  May 25, 2011
                  6323 Posts
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                  Posted: March 31, 2012, 5:06 pm - IP Logged

                  Mega Millions biggest lottery won by dog, requested he be paid in bones and Frisbees.


                    United States
                    Member #111442
                    May 25, 2011
                    6323 Posts
                    Offline
                    Posted: March 31, 2012, 5:11 pm - IP Logged

                    Suicidal man had won the largest Mega Millions lottery in history. He wasn't notified until after jumping off the top floor of Empire State building.

                    His lost comment before hitting the concrete sidewalk was, oh "sh*t!"   Doh


                      United States
                      Member #111442
                      May 25, 2011
                      6323 Posts
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                      Posted: March 31, 2012, 5:24 pm - IP Logged

                      After cashing in her record $656 million Mega Millions ticket, young woman "invested" the entire windfall into a "get rich scheme" and lost everything.

                      When asked if she had any regrets, she replied hell no! Easy come...easy go.  Hippy

                        Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
                        Zeta Reticuli Star System
                        United States
                        Member #30470
                        January 17, 2006
                        10391 Posts
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                        Posted: March 31, 2012, 5:41 pm - IP Logged

                        Michelle tired of flying Air Force One, Obama asks jackpot winner to buy him provate jet and finance family around the world trip.

                        Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

                        Lep

                        There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.

                          CDanaT's avatar - tiger avatar_04_hd_pictures_169016.jpg
                          TX
                          United States
                          Member #121193
                          January 4, 2012
                          1637 Posts
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                          Posted: March 31, 2012, 6:04 pm - IP Logged

                          Mega Millions Jackpot winner comes into Lotto Headquarters wearing a MELLO YELLOW T-shirt, Jockstrap and red Converse hi top sneakers . Then states," there's no reason why I cant still collect food stamps"

                          Stay Positive, Believe and good things will come your way

                            savagegoose's avatar - ProfilePho
                            adelaide sa
                            Australia
                            Member #37136
                            April 11, 2006
                            3316 Posts
                            Offline
                            Posted: March 31, 2012, 10:49 pm - IP Logged

                            lotto winner " great i can finally quit my job,  now wheres the nearest welfare office? "

                            2014 = -1016; 2015= -1409; 2016  = -1171; 2017 = ?  TOT =  -3596

                            keno historic = -2291 ; 2015= -603; 2016= -424; 2017 = ? TOT = - 3318

                              Nikkicute's avatar - nnjx1k
                              Wisconsin
                              United States
                              Member #123290
                              February 17, 2012
                              3091 Posts
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                              Posted: March 31, 2012, 11:10 pm - IP Logged

                              Mega Millions jackpot winner dies of starvation after food stamps cancelled!!