(Not sure of the validity of this, the person who e-mailed it never send cites, but it is kind of thought provoking!):

How would you like to bethe Judge?

TEXAS Bar Sues Church

In a small Texas town, ( Mt. Vernon ) Drummond's bar began construction on a new building to increase their business.
The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening
withpetitions and prayers. Work progressed right up till the week beforeopening when lightning struck the bar and it burned to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar
owner sued the church on the grounds that the
church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either
throughdirect or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied allresponsibility or any connection to the building's demise in its replyto the court.

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork. At
the hearing he commented, 'I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation
that does not.'

The Stained Apron

Dedicated to the venting of food servers' frustrations
and a harsh education of the dining public!

 This is a website for those in the food service business....

Poke around, there's some great stories....

http://www.stainedapron.com/

Since we have discussions heree on LP about would you quit your job, consider some of these stories- and these people didn't hit a jackpot, they just got fed up! The I Quit page:

http://www.stainedapron.com/quit.htm

Ex-Astronaut: Aliens Are Real and Government Knows It

Former NASA astronaut and moon-walker Dr. Edgar Mitchell — a veteran of the Apollo 14 mission — claims aliens exist.

Hesays extraterrestrials have visited Earth on several occasions — but the alien contact has been repeatedly covered up by governments for six decades.

Mitchell, 77, said during a radio interview in Birmingham, England, that sources in the federal government who had had contact with aliens described the beings as "little people who look strange to us."

He said supposedly real-life ET's were similar to the traditional image of a "small gray" — short, slight frame, large eyes and large head.

Mitchell also claimed human technology is "not nearly as sophisticated" as the aliens' and "had they been hostile," he warned "we would be been gone by now."
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,390161,00.html

Could you pass the latest citizenship test?
In October 2008 a newversion of the U.S. citizenship test will be taken by all applicants.Could you pass it? The questions are usually selected from a list of100 samples that prospective citizens can look at ahead of theinterview. Some are easy, some are not. We have picked some of the moredifficult ones.

NOTES: Candidates are not given multiple choicesin the naturalization interview. The following questions have beenadapted from the immigration service’s sample questions.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25461301/

Land Daffy on the bullseye on the ground.

The underwear on the pole tell you wind direction.

Click on Jump to have him jump out of the plane and Chute to deply the parachute.

http://www.bassfiles.net/parachute.swf

Here you go folks:

http://www.yahwehsnewkingdom.com/

The site offers a free book for the asking.

(The next time someone forwards you one of those fuzzy wuzzy e-mails reply with this if you want to).

_______________________________

Incredible story

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walkedaway. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creaturesturned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that severaltimes then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid ass against therailing, killing him instantly. Probably wasn't the same elephant.

This is for all of my friends who send me those heart-warming stories.

"I've got CDO.
That's just like OCD, but with the letters in order alphabetically, like they should be."

-Reader's Digest

Police Say Georgia Man Killed Own Daughter to Protect Family Honor

A Georgia man appeared in court Monday on charges he killed his own daughter for disgracing his family.

Chaudhry Rashid, wearing a redjumpsuit and shackles around his ankles, went before Chief Judge DaphneWalker at the Clayton County Magistrate Court where he was arraigned ona murder charge.

The54-year-old, who is of Pakistani descent, kept his head down as chargeswere read, and appeared to have difficulty understanding instructionsfrom the judge, possibly the result of a language barrier.

Histwo sons were also in attendance, watching their father from seats inthe rear of the courtroom, joined by two others. Rashid waved to theircorner as he shuffled slowly out, impeded by the shackles.

The25-year-old victim, Sandeela Kanwal, was wed in Pakistan in an arrangedmarriage. Police said Kanwal hadn't seen her husband, who lives inChicago, for months.

Accordingto police, there was "friction between father and victim" in the weeksleading up to the killing. Rashid had not spoken to his daughter inmore than two months.

Policesaid Rashid was so angered that his daughter planned to divorce herhusband that he killed her after a heated argument at the family'shome, FOX News affiliate MyFoxAtlanta reported.

Policewho arrived at the scene said they found Rashid's two sons at the endof the driveway and their father sitting behind a car smoking acigarette. Officers said that Rashid appeared "distraught and possiblymournful" and told police "my daughter is dead" when they arrived.

After entering the home, Kanwal's body was discovered in the doorway of a bedroom, cold to the touch, officials said.

Apolice report said that there were possible "ligature marks" indicatingstrangulation on the victim and noted that an iron and cord had beenfound near her body. A necklace was also found on a table downstairs,according to the report.

Rashid was taken to the Clayton County jail where he reportedly confessed to strangling Kanwal.

The news shocked neighbors and friends.

"Thefamily is very upset and stressed," said Shahid Malik of the PakistaniAmerican Community of Atlanta. Malik told MyFoxAtlanta that he met withthe family Sunday and said they were all traumatized.

Rashidwill be back in court Tuesday at 1:30 p.m. EDT. His bond hearing isscheduled for July 25 at 8 a.m., with a preliminary hearing July 24.

Click here to read more from FOX affiliate MyFoxAtlanta.com

FOX News' Marianne Silber and David Lewkowict contributed to this report.

Considering the antics of some jackpot winners:

When prosperity comes, do not use all of it.

Confucius

Russian space probe may save Earth from asteroid

RIA Novosti
Friday, June 27, 2008

MOSCOW,June 27 (RIA Novosti) - Russian experts have said a space missionshould be sent in 2012 to the Apophis asteroid to establish whether itwill collide with Earth, adding that the Russian Phobos-Gruntspacecraft could be used for that purpose.

A report at a Moscowscientific conference said 99942 Apophis, or Asteroid 2004 MN4, with adiameter of 350m, is the biggest space threat to Earth.

In 2029,this near-Earth object will be at a distance of only 36,000 km (22,400miles) - closer than satellites in geostationary orbit. Earth's gravitycould change the orbit of Apophis in such a way that it would collidewith Earth on its next approach in 2036.

http://en.rian.ru/science/20080627/112427353.html

______________________________________________

2012, how interesting!

Thousands of Dutch Prepare for 2012 Apocalypse, According to Report

Theworld will end in 2012 — or so say thousands in the Netherlandspreparing for the apocalypse in four years, the Dutch-languagenewspaper de Volkskrant reported Tuesday.

The paper spoke tothose who believe the 2012 date signals the impending end ofcivilization and are stocking up on emergency supplies, equipment andlife rafts in case of flooding, United Press International reported.

Whiletheories vary as to why 2012, in particular, is believed by some torepresent the world's end, most say it is the end of the Mayancalendar. Some are optimistic about the apocalypse, saying they nolonger want to live in the modern world.

"You know, maybe it'sreally not that bad that the Netherlands will be destroyed," PetraFaile told de Volkskrant. "I don't like it here anymore. Takeimmigration, for example. They keep letting people in. And then we haveto build more houses, which makes the Netherlands even heavier. Thecountry will sink even lower, which will make the flooding worse."
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,370591,00.html

ISP's confirm '2012: The Year The Internet Ends'

Update:Bell Canada and TELUS (formerly owned by Verizon) employees officiallyconfirm that by 2012 ISP's all over the globe will reduce Internetaccess to a TV-like subscription model, only offering access to a smallstandard amount of commercial sites and require extra fees for everyother site you visit. These 'other' sites would then lose all theirexposure and eventually shut down, resulting in what could be seen asthe end of the Internet.

Dylan Pattyn, who is currentlywriting an article for Time Magazine on the issue, has officialconfirmation from sources within Bell Canada and is interviewing amarketing representative from TELUS who confirms the story and statesthat TELUS has already started blocking all websites that aren't in thesubscription package for mobile Internet access. They could not confirmwhether it would happen in 2012 because both stated it may actuallyhappen sooner (as early as 2010). Interviews with these sources, moreconfirmation from other sources and more in-depth information on theissue is set to be published in Time Magazine soon.
What can we do?

Thereason why we're releasing this information is because we believe wecan stop it. More awareness means more mainstream media shedding lighton it, more political interest and more pressure on the ISP's to keepthe Internet an open free space. We started this social network as aplatform for Internet activism where we can join forces, share ideasand organize any form of protest that may have an impact. If we want tomake a difference in this, we have to join together and stand united asone powerful voice against it.
http://ipower.ning.com/netneutrality2

A teacher in Elmira, New York asked her 6th grade class how many ofthem were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, butwanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their handsexcept for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he hasdecided to be different...again.

Little Johnny said, “Because I'm not an Obama fan.”

The teacher asked, “Why aren't you an Obama fan?”

Johnny said, “Because I'm a Republican.”

The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, “Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican.”

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, “If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?”

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, “That would make me an Obama fan.”

FUTURE AMERICA?

You awake each day to the Muslim muezzin call to prayer from the neighborhood mosque - as millions of Europeans already do.

Liberalsespouse “diversity is our strength” as Islamic enforcers cruise thecities in their quest to shutter, or harass any establishment that iscontrary to Islamic “sharia” Law. Guns are confiscated and stiffpenalties are dished out to citizens who defy the new anti-gun laws.Women are told to cover their hair and face when in public.

Youare cautious about attending public events or being part of any largecrowd as these are the favorite targets of suicide bombers in theirquest to exhibit violence against non-Muslims who resist conversion orsurrender. Dissent has been stifled since the Fairness Doctrine wasreinstated.

A new Senator is sworn in, one of several Senatorsthat have recently converted to the Muslim faith. Muslim populateddistricts are increasingly changing the political landscape by sendingmore electees to Congress.

A recent ruling from the SupremeCourt states sharia law does not violate the “separation of church andstate.” This ruling paves the way for Islamic controlled municipalitiesto govern every aspect of religious, political, and personal life ofthe local populace-- [amounting to a form of totalitarianism analogousto Communism].

The Hollywood Left gives up gay rights in favor of the much safer charms of polygamy.

AsMark Steyn [author of the New York Times bestseller “America Alone”]puts it, "The future belongs to the fecund and the confident. And theIslamists are both, while the West -- wedded to a multiculturalism thatundercuts its own confidence, a welfare state that nudges it towardsloth and self-indulgence, and a childlessness that consigns it tooblivion -- is looking ever more like the ruins of a civilization."

Ifyou think this can't happen, you haven't been paying attention towhat’s been happening in Europe and the UK. Europe is almost certainlya goner, as Mark Steyn laments in his book, but America can stillsurvive, prosper, and defend its freedom only if it continues tobelieve in itself, in the sturdier virtues of self-reliance (notgovernment), in the centrality of family, and in the conviction thatour country really is the world's last best hope.

The Muslimshave a twenty year goal to conquer the West. They have only a short 13years remaining until victory, as their quest started in 2000.

Wake up America before it is too late!

http://www.usawakeup.org/mission.htm