ochoop17's Blog

In 1798 , The Mississippi Territorywas created by an act of Congress with ______ as the capital.

Sign behind an Amish carriage:

"Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats.

CAUTION: Avoid exhaust!"

A barrel of water weighs 20 pounds. What must you add to it to make it weigh 12 pounds?

What year was Los Angeles city was incorporated ?

A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. While there he notices the nurse is giving his father hot chocolate and Viagra.

The man asks, "Why are you doing that? I mean, at his age what will it do for him?"

The nurse explains, "The hot chocolate will help him sleep."

The man says, "And the Viagra?"

"Keeps him from falling out of bed."

What 2 words, formed from different arrangements of the same 9 letters, will complete the sentence below?

The homesick recruit told his civilian buddy, "I guess I should have been __________to my father when he told me to go to school instead of ___________."

In 1917, ____took possession of the _____ Islands from Denmark.

A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business.

As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tell me you were a banker?"

The young man answered, "Yes, I did."

To this the tailor said, "Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?"

What does the letter "A" have in common with a flower?

At dusk dusk I come without being fetched. At dawn I disappear without being stolen. I am a poets tear and a sailors guide. What am I?

Where was the first Mormon temple dedicated ?

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates, St. Peter met them there.
      St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. But before I let you into heaven, I have to ask you a couple of questions. Make sure you tell the truth because if you don't, we'll have to ask you to visit the beast below. Your answers will also determine what kind of car you will get. You have to have a car here in heaven because it is so huge!"
      St. Peter asked the first man, "How long were you married?"
      The guy replied, "24 years."
      St. Peter then asked, "Did you ever cheat on your wife?"
      The guy said, "Yeah, about 10 times... but you said I was forgiven."
      Peter said, "Yes, but that's not too good. Here's a Pinto for you to drive."
      The second guy got the same questions from Peter to which he replied, "I was married for 41 years and cheated on her only once, but that was during our first year and we worked it out. I was faithful thereafter."
      Peter said, "I'm pleased to hear that. Here's a Mercedes SUV for you to drive."
      The third guy said, "Peter, I know what you're going to ask. I was married for 63 years and didn't even look at another woman! I treated my wife like a queen!"
      Peter said, "Now that's what I like to hear! Here's a Jaguar for you to drive."
      A little while later, the two guys with the Mercedes and the Pinto saw the guy with the Jaguar crying on the golden sidewalk, so they went to see what was the matter. When they asked him what was wrong he tearfully said, "I just saw my wife and she was on a skateboard!

My life can be measured in hours,
I serve by being devoured,
Thin, I am quick,
Fat, I am slow,
Wind is my foe.

Rock & Roll singer Elvis Presley was inducted into the Army in ____, _____.

Q: What is a computer's first sign of old age?

A: Loss of memory.