ochoop17's Blog

Fill In The Blanks

Mar.__,19__:The U.S. Senate ratified, 66-10, the Treaty of ____ with ______.

Entry #1,802

Have You Ever Wondered ?

- Can you cry under water?

- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

- If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

- Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

- Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

- What did cured ham actually have?

- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

- If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

- Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON television?

- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Entry #1,801

Who Am I ?

I invented air conditioning for cars.

I also invented a box office device that distributed tickets automatically.

I also invented the portable x-ray machine.

Entry #1,800

Look In The Mirror

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?”

The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”

Entry #1,798

Fill In The Blanks

The seventh planet of the solar system, ______, was discovered by _________.

Entry #1,796

A Doctor & Wife

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast.
“You aren’t good in bed either!” he shouted and stormed off to work.
By mid-morning, he decided he’d better make amends and phoned home.
After many rings, his wife picked up the phone.
“What took you so long to answer?”
“I was in bed.”
“What were you doing in bed this late?”
“Getting a second opinion.”

Entry #1,795

Four In A Boat

Four men were in a boat on the lake. The boat turns over and all four men sink to the bottom of the lake yet not a single man got wet! Why?

Entry #1,794

Fill In The Blanks

Mar 11, 19 __:_______ wins the first IC4A indoor track meet held at the 2nd Regiment Armory in ______.

Entry #1,793

Martin Takes The Bait ?

Martin arrived at Sunday school late.  Miss Walter, his teacher, knew that Martin was usually very punctual so she asked him if anything was wrong.God pear joke

Martin replied no, that he had been going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church.

Miss Walter was very impressed and asked the lad if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing?

Martin replied, 'Yes he did. Dad said he didn't have enough bait for both of us.'

Entry #1,792

What Am I ?

I can be short and sometimes hot.
When displayed, I rarely impress.
What am I?

Entry #1,791

Fill In The Blank

1862: During the Civil War,the ironclad ______ rammed and sank the _______and heavily damaged the ______, both frigates, off Newport News, Va.

Entry #1,790

No Dogs Allowed

A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.

The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog."

"Oh man,” the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog."

The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."

The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What??! They gave me a Chihuahua??!"
Entry #1,789

Unusual Paragraph

  • This is a most unusual paragraph - and so is its companion paragraph that follows. This writing may annoy you until you find out why it is so unusual, for you won't find a solution instantly. But don't go into a tailspin about it, for it isn't that difficult. But you will admit that it is most unusual. This writing looks so ordinary that you might think that nothing is worng with it. And, in fact, nothing is wrong with it. But it is unusual, and you must ask why. If you study and think about it, you may find out why, but you must do it without any coaching of any kind. No doubt if you work at it for long, it will dawn on you...who knows? So start to study it now, and try your skill at finding out what is so unusual about this writing. If you can do it in half an hour, you may claim an approach to wisdom, but if you can't do it in half an hour...find our solution
Entry #1,788