jarasan's Blog

The future.

Thanksgiving (?) 2022




Winston, come into the dining room, it's time to eat," Julia yelled to her husband. "In a minute, honey, it's a tie score," he answered.
Actually Winston wasn't very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington .

Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute of 2017, outlawing tackle football for its "unseemly violence" and the "bad example it sets for the rest of the world," Winston was far less of a football fan than he used to be. Two-hand touch wasn't nearly as
exciting.

Yet it wasn't the game that Winston was uninterested in. It was more the thought of eating another Tofu Turkey. Even though it was the best type of VeggieMeat available after the government revised the American Anti-Obesity Act of 2018, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which already included potatoes, cranberry sauce and mince-meat pie), it wasn't anything like real turkey. And ever since the government officially changed the name of "Thanksgiving Day" to "A National Day of Atonement" in 2020 to officially acknowledge the Pilgrims' historically brutal treatment of Native Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of its luster.

Eating in the dining room was also a bit daunting. The unearthly gleam of government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the Tofu Turkey look even weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold. Ever since Congress passed the Power Conservation Act of 2016, mandating all thermostats - which were monitored and controlled by the electric company - be kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of the house was barely tolerable throughout the entire winter.

Still, it was good getting together with family. Or at least most of the family. Winston missed his mother, who passed on in October, when she had used up her legal allotment of life-saving medical treatment. He had had many heated conversations with the Regional Health Consortium, spawned when the private insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced into the government health care program. And though he demanded she be kept on her treatment, it was a futile effort. "The RHC's resources are limited," explained the government bureaucrat Winston spoke with on the phone. "Your mother received all the benefits to which she was entitled. I'm sorry for your loss."

Ed couldn't make it either. He had forgotten to plug in his electric car last night, the only kind available after the Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of 2021 outlawed the use of the combustion engines-for everyone but government officials. The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed didn't want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and there.

Thankfully, Winston's brother, John, and his wife were flying in. Winston made sure that the dining room chairs had extra cushions for the occasion. No one complained more than John about the pain of sitting down so soon after the government-mandated cavity searches at airports, which severely aggravated his hemorrhoids. Ever since a terrorist successfully smuggled a cavity bomb onto a jetliner, the TSA told Americans the added "inconvenience" was an "absolute necessity" in order to stay "one step ahead of the terrorists." Winston's own body had grown accustomed to such probing ever since the government expanded their scope to just about anywhere a crowd gathered, via Anti-Profiling Act of 2022. That law made it a crime to single out any group or individual for "unequal scrutiny," even when probable cause was involved. Thus, cavity searches at malls, train stations, bus depots, etc., etc., had become almost routine. Almost.

The Supreme Court is reviewing the statute, but most Americans expect a Court composed of six progressives and three conservatives to leave the law intact. "A living Constitution is extremely flexible," said the Court's eldest member, Elena Kagan. " Europe has had laws like this one for years. We should learn from their example," she added.

Winston's thoughts turned to his own children. He got along fairly well with his 12-year-old daughter, Brittany, mostly because she ignored him. Winston had long ago surrendered to the idea that she could text anyone at any time, even during Atonement Dinner. Their only real confrontation had occurred when he limited her to 50,000 texts a month, explaining that was all he could afford. She whined for a week, but got over it.

His 16-year-old son, Jason, was another matter altogether. Perhaps it was the constant bombarding he got in public school that global warming, the bird flu, terrorism or any of a number of other calamities were "just around the corner," but Jason had developed a kind of nihilistic attitude that ranged between simmering surliness and outright hostility. It didn't help that Jason had reported his father to the police for smoking a cigarette in the house, an act made criminal by the Smoking Control Statute of 2018, which outlawed smoking anywhere within 500 feet of another human being. Winston paid the $5,000 fine, which might have been considered excessive before the American dollar became virtually worthless as a result of QE13. The latest round of quantitative easing the federal government initiated was, once again, to "spur economic growth." This time they promised to push unemployment below its years-long rate of 18%, but Winston was not particularly hopeful.

Yet the family had a lot for which to be thankful, Winston thought, before remembering it was a Day of Atonement. At least he had his memories. He felt a twinge of sadness when he realized his children would never know what life was like in the Good Old Days, long before government promises to make life "fair for everyone" realized their full potential. Winston, like so many of his fellow Americans, never realized how much things could change when they didn't happen all at once, but little by little, so people could get used to them.

He wondered what might have happened if the public had stood up while there was still time, maybe back around 2011, when all the real nonsense began. "Maybe we wouldn't be where we are today if we'd just said 'enough is enough' when we had the chance," he thought.

Maybe so, Winston. Maybe so.

And what are we doing about it?????

Entry #332

Get it in writing.

After Osama bin Laden was killed, the other day, George Washington met

him at the Pearly Gates.

He slapped him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to

destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

 Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You

wanted to end our liberties but you failed!"

 James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why

I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

 Thomas Jefferson was next, beat ObL with a long cane and snarled "It

was Evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of

Independence."

 The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe

and 66 other Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist Leader.

 As ObL lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared.

 ObL wept and said, "This is not what you promised me."

 

The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting

for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"

Entry #331

We're still here.

First of all the $h1t$stream media paid way too much attention to this dolt predicting the end of world today.  Either there is still time for it to end or this was a distraction the media chose for the slap down GANGSTAPUPPETOTUSPOS received from the Israeli PM.  The potus body language during that meeting in front of the cameras was priceless.  The white house is getting involved where they don't even begin to understand the gravity of what they speak. The video is 15 min long and worth the watch to see the diff between a REAL leader and a teleprompter reader.

Entry #329

Spitting in the face of the American People.

You can comment on this blog post.

I am no fan of Newt Gingrich,  but he does speak with facts,  more people are on food stamps in this country than ever before, no denying this FACT 1 in 6.  And the FDA is wasting our tax dollars chasing Amish milk producers.

The f'ing gdam Democrats are the party of the rich and priviledged that spit in the face of the American people, they take advantage of you uninformed dupes Dupe Alert.  Just look at the latest set of of healthcare law exemptions in Cali.  dozens in Nancy Paloozis district...........Expensive restaurants and nightclubs exempt from Obama care.  Obama eating Kobi beef and having parties every week at the white house,  flying all over the gd country campaigning,  flip flopping on everything,  courting the Hispanics,  you morons wake up and think whose been zoomin who.

Are you better off than you were three years ago??????????????????????????????????? Gas high as hell, food high as hell, houses being foreclosed all over the place, can't get credit, millions unemployed,  millions more underemployed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah they hired 450,000 more govt. workers WTF is this Communist Amerika???????????

Entry #328

Cash from Libya!

It comes from here:

IP Address 202.137.235.241
Host f4mail-235-241.rediffmail.com
Location IN, India
City Mumbai, 16 -
Organization REDIFF.COM INDIA LIMITED
ISP REDIFF.COM INDIA LIMITED
AS Number AS38224 Rediff.com India Limited,
Latitude 18°97'50" North
Longitude 72°82'58" East
Distance 5313.93 km (3301.93 miles)

Return-path: <morrisjean22@rediffmail.com>
Received: from rediffmail.com ([unknown] [202.137.235.241])
 by vms172051.mailsrvcs.net
 (Sun Java(tm) System Messaging Server 7u2-7.02 32bit (built Apr 16 2009))
 with SMTP id <0LKU00ADUW3RY120@vms172051.mailsrvcs.net> for

India!!!!!!!!!!!It comes from India!!!!!!!!!! Those sneaky Indians! Fighting for Qaddahfi??????????

 

ALERT !


Dear,

I am SGT Nizar Aziz, an active Gaddafi soldier in Tripoli
Libya. I am serving in the military of the 1st Armoured Division in
Libya. The Nato Force are too heavy and Hot here in Tripoli. And our
leader Muammar Gaddafi would flee out of the country any moment from
now due to heavy Bombadment that is currently going on everyday and
night here. And car bombs are attacking us seriously.

We discovered huge amount of Us,Dollar in his Domain with the Total of
25 Million dollar in cash.We managed to share it. I have with me
$350,000.00 Us,dollar. I want to move this money out of this place;
this place is a war zone, so that you may keep my share for me
till when i will come over to meet you as soon as possible. I will take
70%, my partner and I. You take 30%. No strings attached, just help me
move it out of Libya, Libya is under the siege of war. I plan on
smuggling it by using diplomatic courier and shipping the money out in
a large box, using diplomatic immunity.

If you are interested I will send you the full details, my job is to
find a good partner that I can trust and that will assist me. Can I
trust you? When you receive this letter, kindly send me an e-mail
signifying your interest including your most confidential telephone/fax
numbers for quick communication also your contact details.

This business is very lucrative free, for first come first serve! The
box can be shipped out in 48hrs if you want to handle the deal with me
as your own brothers. Please Contact Me.
(nizar_azizy@yahoo.com )

Respectfully,
SGT Nizar Aziz.
OFFICIAL NOTE!
Please, if you can't handle this deal properly, kindly look for a
worthy person to handle it for you. I need an urgent action!

Entry #324

Was this Bush's fault?

OBL bin done.  I think this is good news.  What is amazing is there are some saying this didn't happen or is all a setup.  Everything is a conspiracy theory,  we are too stupid and don't  know any better.  They are somehow enlightened and privy to the TRUTH.  Bunch of one trick ponies. 

I hope the bullet to OBL head hurt real bad,  at least a minute or two.  The shell fish will taste foul for awhile.

Hopefully, Adam Sandler's daddy has got a french maid dress on him and giving him the pineapple>>>>>>>>>Forever.

Oh yea, why aren't the terrorists all happy and stuff that he is with all those Virgos????

Hiding behind a woman,  how brave.

US Flag

Entry #323

The recession is so bad...

THIS RECESSION IS SO BAD ................

.....I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

.....CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

.....Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

.....A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with
rolls of pennies while she danced.

......I met a polygamist with only one wife.

.....If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds,"
you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

.....McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

.....Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

......My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it
-----so they re-possessed her!

......The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed
by Somali pirates.

......Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh great!
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated
by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally.......

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Entry #322

Don't do it Texas!

Don't ask the feds for help!  Don't do it!  Big mistake!  I thought Texas was ready to secede!  We are in great shape they said in Texas,  come do business here..................yaddah yaddah yaddah.  We don't need no stinkin' big gooberments heerah!  Get some water from the Gulf but don't beg for fed assistance.   You'll regret it.

Entry #321

Another one!

Dear Sir/Madam,
 
I am Engr. John Tetteh, the Managing Director of Akubea Mining & Farming Co. LTD, Accra Ghana - West Africa with branches in South Africa and Nigeria. Our company is the leading Gold selling company in Ghana - West Africa. We sell Gold to clients in Europe, America, South America and Asian countries.
 
JOB POSITION
We are a company that deals on Alluvial GOLD. We produce gold dust and bars in Ghana - West Africa and export overseas. We are searching for a representative who can help us establish a medium of getting our customers in ASIA, AMERICA, SOUTH AMERICA and EUROPE as well as making payments through you to us. We will be glad if you are interested in transacting business with us.
 
You can easily make $600-$1,000 or more in a week by working for us as a representative in ASIA, SOUTH AMERICA&EUROPE. You will be in charge of collecting payment on behalf of our customers and Small business organizations that are registered under us. There is no form of investment that is needed from you and this job will take only 1-3 hours of your time per week. You don't need to spend money at all as our representative. All we need is your sincerity, 100% trust and assurance that you will send us our money immediately you receive it from our buyer. You will always deduct 10% in any amount you receive from our customer as the effort you made and send the remaining amount to us.
 
THIS IS WHAT IT ENTAILS:
 
1. Get/receive payment from clients/Customers.
2. Process Payments at your Bank.
3. Deduct 10% which is your commission/Payment on amount cashed.
4. Forward the remaining 90% to the information that will be provided later on.
Note: If you still get buyer of Gold for our company you will be highly compensated.
 
I will need you to provide me with your basic personal info such as:
Full Name:
Full Mailing Address:
Country Zip Code if Any:
Direct Telephone or Mobile Number:
Passport or Drivers license as a means of identification:
 
Fill the above Info so as to qualify you for the position.
 
I hope to hear from you upon receipt of this email.
 
Engr. John Tetteh
Managing Director
Akubea Mining & Farming Co. Ltd.
Accra-Ghana
Entry #320

Another one!

Please for pete's sake bcc: email addresses and clean up foward header info!

Banque Regionale de solidarite
Lome Togo.
email: jubrilbraimoh@qatar.io
Telephone +228 05 84719

The need to get a foreigner

I am Jubril Braimoh, Head of Internal Audit, Banque Regionale de
solidarite , working as part of a bigger team that covers the entire
African region. An investor (name with held) died without naming any next
of kin to his fund in my bank, He was a foreigner.The amount is us$144.5
Million and banking regulation/legislation in Togo demands that i should
Notify the fiscal authorities after three years. Now any person who Apply
and defend the subject

becomes the Benefit.The above set of facts underscores my reason to seek
your permission to have you stand in as the next of kin to the
deceased.These funds will be approved and released in your favor as the
next of kin if only you will adhere to my instruction and cooperate with
me in one accord. I have all the legal and banking details of the deceased
client that will facilitate our putting you forward as
theclaimant/beneficiary of the funds and ultimately transfer of the
us$144.5 M plus interest to any bank account nominated by you. I am
prepared to compensate you with a 40% share of the total Funds for your
efforts, 5% cover local and international expenses.The next step is to
file in application as next of Kin. Contact me to continue with.Full
names...........Occupation...........Company Names........Telephone
Number.....

Thank you,

Jubril Braimoh

Entry #319

This was in my inbox! HA!

Idiots.  People actually respond to this crap?

Dear Friend
 

I want to inform you that the fee for your Cheque Draft has been Paid because the manager of Eco Bank Benin told me that before the check will get to you it will expire. So I told him to cash the ($1.5M USD), all the necessary arrangement of delivering of the ($1.5M USD), in cash was made with FedEx COMPANY WORLD WIDE. Here is the contact of the FedEx Company World Wild bellow.

Dr.David Woods
TEL: +22998976228
EMAIL: (f.delivering@ibra.gov.om)

Please send them your contacts information to enable them locate you immediately they arrived in your country with your BOX. This information they need from you in order to delivery your box to your address.


1. YOUR FULL NAME ___________________________
2. YOUR HOME ADDRESS ___________________________
3 YOUR CURRENT HOME TELEPHONE NUMBER __________________
4. YOUR CURRENT OFFICE TELEPHONE__________________
5. A COPY OF YOUR PICTURE __________________


Please make sure you send this needed info to the Director General of FedEx Company world wild in Benin MORRISON HILL. With the address given to you. Note. The FedEx Company here doesn’t know the contents of the Box. I registered it as damages of jeans returning to the retailer. They don't know it contents money to avoid them delaying with the Box. Please don't let them to know that the contents of the Box are money to avoid them from delaying with the box. I am waiting for your urgent response.


Meanwhile the only fee you have to pay them is $125 USD they will use to obtain insurance certificate and claims of affidavit that will prove the box that consist total sum of ($1.5M USD) belongs to you. be rest assured that all other fees have been paid by me I am waiting for your urgent response.

Thanks
Jackson Dues

Entry #318