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jarasan's Blog

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Acceptable behavior.

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
 
      Dear Dogs and Cats,
 
      The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
 
      The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
 
      I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.

      It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
 
      For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.
 
      The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
 
      To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door: To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
      1. They live here. You don't.
      2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
      3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
      4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
 
      Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
      1. Eat less
      2. Don't ask for money all the time
      3  Are easier to train
      4. Normally come when called
      5. Never ask to drive the car
      6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
      7. Don't smoke or drink
      8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
      9. Don't want to wear your clothes
      10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.
          And finally,
      11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

 

Entry #36

Abbott & Costello sell computers.

      These guys and the bowery boys were great.

     

      Abbott and Costello sell computers

      You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too
      old  to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this.? For
      those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read

      On…..

      If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous
      sketch,
      “Who’s on First?” might have turned out something like this:

      COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

      ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
      COSTELLO: Thanks.? I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m
      thinking about buying a computer.
      ABBOTT: Mac?
      COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.
      ABBOTT: Your computer?
      COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer.? I want to buy one.
      ABBOTT: Mac?
      COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.
      ABBOTT: What about Windows?
      COSTELLO: Why?? Will it get stuffy in here?
      ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
      COSTELLO: I don’t know.? What will I see when I look at the
      windows?
      ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

      COSTELLO: Never mind the windows.? I need a computer and software.
      ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
      COSTELLO: No. On the computer!? I need something I can use to
      write proposals, track expenses and run my business.? What do you have?        
      ABBOTT: Office.
      COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office.? Can you recommend anything?
      ABBOTT: I just did.
      COSTELLO: You just did what?
      ABBOTT: Recommend something.
      COSTELLO: You recommended something?
      ABBOTT: Yes.
      COSTELLO: For my office?
      ABBOTT: Yes.
      COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
      ABBOTT: Office.
      COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
      ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

      COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows!? OK, let’s just
      say  I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.? What do
      I need?
      ABBOTT: Word.
      COSTELLO: What word?
      ABBOTT: Word in Office.
      COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
      ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
      COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows ?
      ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W” .
      COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with
      some straight answers.? What about financial bookkeeping?? You have

           anything I can track my money with?
      ABBOTT: Money.
      COSTELLO: That’s right.? What do you have?
      ABBOTT: Money.
      COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
      ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
      COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?
      ABBOTT: Money.
      COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
      ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
      COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?? How much?
      ABBOTT: One copy.
      COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
      COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
      ABBOTT: Why not?? THEY OWN IT!

      (A few days later)

      ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store.? Can I help you?
      COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
      ABBOTT: Click on “START”.............
Entry #35

Letter from camp.

Dear Mom And Dad,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the
flood on TV and are worried. We are okay.  Only one of our tents and 2
sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of  us got drowned because
we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't
write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and
rescue jeeps.  It was neat.

We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't
been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without
telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire
so he probably didn't hear him.

 Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?

The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and
also some of our clothes. Mathew is going to look weird until his hair
grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed. It
wasn't his fault about the wreck.  The brakes worked okay when we left.

Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus  that old you have to expect
something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.

We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if
it's hot, sometimes he lets us  ride on the fenders. It gets  pretty
hot with 45 people in a bus. He let us take turns riding in the trailer
until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.

Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In
fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where
there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there  are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swim ming out
in the lake. Scoutmaster Keith  wouldn't let me because I can't swim,
and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take
the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the
trees under the water from the flood.

Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even
get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working
on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew
dived into the lake and cut his arm, we  got to see how a tourniquet
works.

Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it probably was just
food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that
way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our
scoutmaster.


He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was
doing his time.  By the way, what is a pedal-file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters and buy some
more  beer. Don't worry about  anything.

We are fine.
Love, Chris

Entry #34

Out on the Chesapeake.

Here are a couple of pics of Sharps Island lighthouse and some of the other fisherman out on the Chesapeake Bay.  This lighthouse is on the east side of the bay in front of the Choptank River it is not maintained and is around 80 years old, it is constructed of welded sheets of steel.  Great fishing around it though as the water depth drops off as you approach from any side.

Sharps approach

About a half mile off.

Sharps2

Couple hundred feet away.

Boats1

Bay Boat Charters.

Entry #33

Toyota/Xterra fun on the beach.

Here is my 175K 4Runner and my friends Xterra at Ocracoke last year.  Remember always deflate the tires to 5-10 lbs. when on the sand!  Ocracoke is where Blackbeard used to party on the Outer Banks south of Hatteras.

Toyota ocracoke

Entry #32

Sheep or Sheepdog?

Good metaphor, what are you?

This is what the world is today.

Can you read this all the way through and not classify yourself?

Here you go.

Sheep or Sheepdog?

"This letter was written by Charles Grennel and his comrades who are veterans of the Global War On Terror. Grennel is an Army Reservist who spent two years in Iraq and helped to put together the first Iraq elections, January of 2005.

It was written to Ms. Jill Edwards, at that time a student at the University of Washington who did not want to honor Medal of Honor winner USMC Colonel Greg Boyington. (Black Sheep Squadron, WWII)

Ms. Edwards and other students and faculty at UW expressed the opinion that those who serve in the U.S. armed services are not good role models for students.

Here's Grennel's response:

To: Jill Edwards, (student, University of Washington )
Subject: Sheep, Wolves and Sheepdogs

Dear Miss Edwards,

I read of your "student activity" regarding the proposed memorial to Col. Greg Boyington, USMC and a Medal of Honor winner. You may be too young to appreciate fully the sacrifices of generations of servicemen and servicewomen on whose shoulders you and your fellow students stand. I forgive you for the untutored ways of youth and  your naiveté. It may be that you are, simply, a sheep. There's no dishonor in being a sheep - - as long as you know and accept what you are.

In a lecture to the United States Naval Academy November 24, 1997
William J. Bennet made the following observations:

"Most of the people in our society are sheep. They are kind, gentle, productive creatures who can only hurt one another by accident." We may well be in the most violent times in history, but violence is still remarkably rare. This is because most citizen s are kind, decent people who are not capable of hurting each other, except by accident or under extreme provocation. They are sheep.

Then there are the wolves and the wolves feed on the sheep without mercy. Do you believe there are wolves out there who will feed on the flock without mercy? You better believe it. There are evil men in this world and they are capable of evil deeds. The moment you forget that or pretend it is not so, you become a sheep. There is no safety in denial.

Then there are sheepdogs and I'm a sheepdog. I live to protect the flock and confront the wolf. If you have no capacity for violence then you are a healthy productive citizen, a sheep. If you have a capacity for violence and no empathy for your fellow citizens, then you have defined an aggressive sociopath, a wolf.

But what if you have a capacity for violence, and a deep love for your fellow citizens? What do you have then? A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the uncharted path. Someone who can walk into the heart of darkness, into the universal human phobia, and walk out unscathed.

We know that the sheep live in denial, that is what makes them sheep.  They do not want to believe that there is evil in the world.

They can accept the fact that fires can happen, which is why they want fire extinguishers, fire sprinklers, fire alarms and fire exits throughout  their kids' schools. But many of them are outraged at the idea of  putting an armed police officer in their kid's school. Our children are thousands of times more likely to be killed or seriously injured by school violence than fire, but the sheep's only response to the possibility of violence is denial. The idea of someone coming to kill or harm their child is just too hard, and so they chose the path of denial.

The sheep generally do not like the sheepdog. He looks a lot like the wolf. He has fangs and the capacity for violence. The difference, though, is that the sheepdog must not, can not and will not ever harm the sheep. Any sheep dog who intentionally harms the lowliest little lamb will be punished and removed. The world cannot work any other way, at least not in a representative democracy or a republic such as ours. Still, the sheepdog disturbs the sheep. He is a constant reminder that there are wolves in the land. They would prefer that he didn't tell them where to go, or give them traffic tickets, or stand at the ready in our airports, in camouflage fatigues, holding an M-16.

The sheep would much rather have the sheepdog cash in his fangs, spray paint himself white, and go, "Baa." Until the wolf shows up. Then the entire flock tries desperately to hide behind one lonely sheepdog.

For instance, the students at Columbine High School were big, tough high school students, and under ordinary circumstances they would not have had the time of day for a police officer. They were not bad kids; they just had nothing to say to a cop.  But when the school was under attack, and SWAT teams were clearing the rooms and hallways, those once-ignored officers had to physically peel those clinging, sobbing kids off of them.

This is how the little lambs feel about their sheepdog when the wolf is at the door. Look at what happened after September 11, 2001 when the wolf pounded hard on the door. Remember how America , more than ever before, felt differently about their law enforcement officers and military personnel? Understand that there is nothing morally superior about being a sheepdog; it is just what you choose to be. Also understand that a sheepdog is a funny critter: He is always sniffing around out on the perimeter, checking the breeze, barking at things that go bump in the night, and yearning for a righteous battle.

That is, the young sheepdogs yearn for a righteous battle. The old sheepdogs are a little older and wiser, but they move to the sound of the guns when needed, right along with the young ones.

Now, here is how the sheep and the sheepdog think differently: The sheep pretend the wolf will never come, while the sheepdog lives for that day.

After the attacks on September 11, 2001 , the sheep, that is, most citizens in America said, "Thank God I wasn't on one of those planes."

The sheepdogs said, "Dear God, I wish I could have been on one of those planes. Maybe I could have made a difference."

You want to be able to make a difference. There is nothing morally superior about a warrior, but he does have one real advantage. Only one. And that is that he is able to survive and thrive in an environment that destroys 98 percent of the sheep.

There was research conducted a few years ago with individuals convicted of violent crimes. These cons were in prison for serious, predatory crimes of violence: assaults, murders and killing law enforcement officers. The vast majority said that they specifically targeted victims by body language: slumped walk, passive behavior and lack of awareness. They chose their victims exactly like big cats do in Africa , selecting one out of the herd that is least able to protect itself. Some people may be destined to be sheep and others might be genetically primed to be wolves or sheepdogs. But I believe that most people can choose which one they want to be, and I'm proud to say that more and more Americans are choosing to become sheepdogs.

Seven months after the attack on September 11, 2001 , Todd Beamer was honored in his hometown of Cranbury , New Jersey . Todd, as you recall, was the man on Flight 93 over Pennsylvania who called on his cell phone to alert an operator from United Airlines about the hijacking.  When they learned of the other three passenger planes that had been used as weapons, Todd and the other passengers confronted the terrorist hijackers. In one hour, a transformation occurred among the passengers - athletes, business people and parents -- from sheep to sheepdogs and together they fought the wolves, ultimately saving an unknown number of lives on the ground. 
"There is no safety for honest men except by believing all possible evil of evil men." - Edmund Burke.

Here is a point I like to emphasize, especially to the thousands of police officers and soldiers I speak to each year. In nature the sheep, real sheep, are born as sheep. Sheepdogs are born that way, and so are wolves. They didn't have a choice.

But you are not a critter. As a human being, you can be whatever you want to be. It is a conscious, moral decision. If you want to be a sheep, then you can be a sheep and that is okay, but you must understand the price you pay. When the wolf comes, you and your loved ones are going to die if there is not a sheepdog there to protect you.

If you want to be a wolf, you can be one, but the sheepdogs are going to hunt you down and you will never have rest, safety, trust or love .  But if you want to be a sheepdog and walk the warrior's path, then you must make a conscious and moral decision every day to dedicate, equip, and prepare yourself to thrive in that toxic, corrosive moment when the wolf comes knocking at the door.

This business of being a sheep or a sheep dog is not a yes-no dichotomy. It is not an all-or-nothing, either-or choice. It is a matter of degrees, a continuum. On one end is an abject, head-in-the-sand-sheep and on the other end is the ultimate warrior. Few people exist completely on one end or the other. Most of us live somewhere in between.

Since 9-11 almost everyone in America took a step up that continuum, away from denial. The sheep took a few steps toward accepting and appreciating their warriors, and the warriors started taking their job more seriously. It's ok to be a sheep, but do not kick the sheep dog.  Indeed, the sheep dog may just run a little harder, strive to protect a little better and be fully prepared to pay an ultimate price in battle and spirit with the sheep moving from "baa" to "thanks".

Like good sheepdogs, we warriors do not call for gifts or freedoms beyond our lot. We just need a small pat on the head, a smile and a thank you to fill the emotional tank which is drained while protecting the sheep. And when our number is called by "The Almighty", and day retreats into night, a small prayer before the heavens just may be in order to say thanks for letting you continue to be a sheep. And be grateful for the thousands - - millions - - of American sheepdogs who permit you, Ms. Edwards - the freedom to express even bad ideas."

I am a sheepdog. I've always known I was a dog.

 

Entry #30

Hydrangea Blue Tiger Orange

The hydrangeas are on the more shade north side and are cool blue in color,  the tiger lillies are on the south sunny side and are a warm orange color.  These come back year after year, and if the soil is right the colors are deeper, and they last longer, these last about 5-6 weeks.

hydra1

Cool.

tiger1

Warm: Natures' fireworks

hydrangea2

Violet?

tiger2

Ok. Where are the bees?

hydra3

Yeah, where are the bees?

tiger3

We're ready.

Entry #29

Ain't that the truth

   1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

   2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his
   tail.
   3. If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense
   at all.
   4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
   5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
   6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark
  to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
   7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many
   people a company can operate without.
   8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else
   looks?
  9. Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.
   10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
   11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
   12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4
  AM. It could be a right number.
   13. Think about this ... No one ever says “It’s only a game” when his
   team is winning.
  14. I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
  15. Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to
   like it.
  16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size
   bucket

   I just love the following.....

  17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we’ll have thousands of OLD
  LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden
  Oldies!)
  18. Money can’t buy happiness—but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry
  in a Corvette than in a Prius.

  19. After a certain age, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you
  are probably dead.


   Isn’t it the truth!!
Entry #28

Mole family.

Mole Family

A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby
 mole all live together

in a little mole hole.


One day papa mole sticks

his head
out of the hole, sniffs the air

and said,

"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"


The mama mole sticks her head

out of the hole,

sniffs the air and said,

"Oh, Yum! I smell honey!"



Now baby mole is trying

to stick his head

out of the hole to sniff the air,

but can't
because the bigger moles

are in the way.

This makes him whine,

"Geez, all I can smell is....


MOLASSES!
Entry #27

Vinnie Barbarinos House

This is for you bargain hunters.

Vinnies

I think he has a good paying job, or is it the scientology?

Entry #26

Sir Isaac Newton

this was released today:

http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/discoveries/2007-06-19-newton-religious-papers_N.htm

here is part of it:

"It may end later, but I see no reason for its ending sooner," Newton wrote. However, he added, "This I mention not to assert when the time of the end shall be, but to put a stop to the rash conjectures of fanciful men who are frequently predicting the time of the end, and by doing so bring the sacred prophesies into discredit as often as their predictions fail."

In another document, Newton interpreted biblical prophecies to mean that the Jews would return to the Holy Land before the world ends. The end of days will see "the ruin of the wicked nations, the end of weeping and of all troubles, the return of the Jews captivity and their setting up a flourishing and everlasting Kingdom," he posited.

The exhibit also includes treatises on daily practice in the Jewish temple in Jerusalem. In one document, Newton discussed the exact dimensions of the temple — its plans mirrored the arrangement of the cosmos, he believed — and sketched it. Another paper contains words in Hebrew, including a sentence taken from the Jewish prayerbook.

Yemima Ben-Menahem, one of the exhibit's curators, said the papers show Newton's conviction that important knowledge was hiding in ancient texts.

"He believed there was wisdom in the world that got lost. He thought it was coded, and that by studying things like the dimensions of the temple, he could decode it," she said.

The Newton papers, Ben-Menahem said, also complicate the idea that science is diametrically opposed to religion. "These documents show a scientist guided by religious fervor, by a desire to see God's actions in the world," she said.

More prosaic documents on display show Newton keeping track of his income and expenses while a scholar at Cambridge and later, as master of the Royal Mint, negotiating with a group of miners from Devon and Cornwall about the price of the tin they supplied to Queen Anne.

The archives of Hebrew University in Jerusalem include a 1940 letter from Albert Einstein to Abraham Shalom Yahuda, the collector who purchased the papers a year earlier.

Newton's religious writings, Einstein wrote, provide "a variety of sketches and ongoing changes that give us a most interesting look into the mental laboratory of this unique thinker."

Entry #25

D.C. Lottery's Best: Tenley Market

Here is a tour of my favorite place in D.C. to play lottery! tenley 1

Tenley mini market has been in business for over 20 years, it is at Tenley Circle in D.C. at Wisconsin Ave. near the highest elevation in D.C. all the air broadcast towers are nearby.  It is a great place to live, work, and play.  Metro is a block away,  American University is there, the National Cathedral, restaurants, stores, anything you may need. But if you want great sandwiches, beer/wine, newpapers, or lottery, Tenley Market is the place!

Maria Jason 

When you get there someone always greets you with a smile like Maria or Jason.

Winners board

 Winners board.

ticket reader

Ticket reader.

 

last weeks winnners

Last weeks winners.

playing stations

Two of five playing stations.

the scratchies

 The scratchies to choose from.

 scratchy vending

The scratcher vending machine.

keno

We play keno in D.C.! Got a ball in mid-flight to 63!

Maria Bob

Maria and Bob doing business, notice all the winners at Tenley I think they've had everything hit here but a PBall jackpot, it could very well happen.

jason

Jason is the ultimate in speed, accuracy and professionalism, no mistakes, enough said.  He  lets you know when the promos are on!  He let me know last week a promo started for DC6 buy 3 get one free, guess what 5 of 6 on one of those free QP's. Thanks again Jason!

Maria

Maria is also fast, accurate, and professional, she always has a smile and a kind word.

jimmy

Now if you need a keg or two or three, a case, talk to Jimmy. The college kids love this man as well as everybody else.  He is always there and keeps the whole place locked and loaded and ready to go. He is the beermeister.

I hope you all enjoy this.  I think this is a great place to play at and is my favorite, the D.C. lottery should be very proud of the representation they get from the people of Tenley Market. Thank you.

 

Entry #24

Climatis! The color purple.

Well, the climatis came back again this year with a vengence!  My dad tied this vine up before he passed and I straightened it up this spring and they are beautiful!  The simple beauty of this flower is electrifying to me, it almost looks like it is plugged into an electrical outlet, the purples are so vibrant. I hope you like these.

 

climatis 1

 

climatis 2

Entry #23

STS-117

Looks like the Atlantis got up ok! 7000 mph in 5 min. It is beautiful to watch every time! It is going to hook up with the space station for 14 days.  May they have a safe mission and return.

The sun rises over Kennedy Space Center this morning.

 

Entry #22
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