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UK lottery winner recounts downsides of winning

Topic closed. 44 replies. Last post 3 years ago by Astekblue.

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mrcraft's avatar - images3lp4 zps7dbb4a10.jpg
Los Angeles, California
United States
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December 2, 2013
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Posted: December 28, 2013, 2:21 pm - IP Logged

It's hard to say without actually winning, but I plan to be generous, however, if you ask me, my answer will be no.  My gifts will be entirely of my choosing, and I don't want to set a dangerous precedent that not so close friends and strangers can expect money from me like that poor fellow Shakespeare. If they are not happy with my gift, so be it.  I'll have no regrets and will move on.

    Teddi's avatar - Lottery-008.jpg

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    Posted: December 28, 2013, 3:10 pm - IP Logged

    When I win no one will know, I live in a state that allows me to be annoymous so that's 3/4 of the battle there.  And as for my family and friends it's my money I'll do what I please.  If anyone gets their nose out of joint they can sulk or throw a fit but I also won't speak to them anymore.  I have nothing in writing with any of them and my family is not close to start with.  So someone from another branch coming with a sob story or demanding money will get hung up on or a door in the face.  I have zero tolerance for them.  The odds of them finding out are low as well.  They don't call now why would they suddenly start?

    I'd take care of my parents and sister beyond that friends and other family and all are on their own.   Of course I don't have 4 ex husbands and no kids so that also takes complications out of it as well.  When my life took a turn and I was divorcing my husband a few years ago no one helped me, I did it myself.  And today I am fine. 

    Like I said parents and sister will be cared for everyone else the lake is that way, commence leaping  --->

     

    Blue Angel

    I think if you can claim anonymously, it takes half the aggravation out of the picture. There won't be any long lost friends tracking you down, or family members trying to sue you claiming some made-up lie about you promising them a share...or worse, hire a hitman like Mr Post's brother. 

    They really need to stop the nonsense and make anonymity an option. If you want to tell the world, so be it. If you don't, that option should be there for you.

      Goteki54's avatar - Lottery-007.jpg
      Baltimore, MD
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      Posted: December 28, 2013, 3:38 pm - IP Logged

      The old saying goes misery loves company. When people see you doing good, they somehow blame you for their resentment. If I ever hit for several million, I will not tell my family that  I hit for that much, just that I hit for a nice sum. Jackpot money is definitely the tester to how strong your freindship, spouse and families ties truly are.

      Following the trends and patterns means following the money!Banana

        mrcraft's avatar - images3lp4 zps7dbb4a10.jpg
        Los Angeles, California
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        Posted: December 28, 2013, 3:40 pm - IP Logged

        I think if you can claim anonymously, it takes half the aggravation out of the picture. There won't be any long lost friends tracking you down, or family members trying to sue you claiming some made-up lie about you promising them a share...or worse, hire a hitman like Mr Post's brother. 

        They really need to stop the nonsense and make anonymity an option. If you want to tell the world, so be it. If you don't, that option should be there for you.

        Yeah, I agree.  I found out (thanks to Jon D) that California now requires a "natural person" to claim prizes.  We still have the option to decline press conferences, etc., but we can't claim via a trust anymore, effective earlier this year.  Sad, when you consider some states are trying to move in the other direction towards anonymity.

          helpmewin's avatar - dandy
          u$a
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          Posted: December 28, 2013, 4:17 pm - IP Logged

          Let it Snow Snowman

            HoLeeKau's avatar - YheaShea
            Idaho
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            July 17, 2010
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            Posted: December 28, 2013, 8:07 pm - IP Logged

            "You can't win — if you buy a round for everyone in the bar you're a Flash Harry, and if you don't you're tight. It's the same with the bigger stuff — if you get the nice car you're splashing your money around. If you don't, people resent you for holding onto it."

             

            This is exactly why I would want to remain anonymous.  When you're poor, you can't please everybody.  When you're suddenly rich, you can't please nobody.

              RJOh's avatar - chipmunk
              mid-Ohio
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              Posted: December 28, 2013, 8:23 pm - IP Logged

              "You can't win — if you buy a round for everyone in the bar you're a Flash Harry, and if you don't you're tight. It's the same with the bigger stuff — if you get the nice car you're splashing your money around. If you don't, people resent you for holding onto it."

               

              This is exactly why I would want to remain anonymous.  When you're poor, you can't please everybody.  When you're suddenly rich, you can't please nobody.

              You don't have to be anonymous to refuse to discuss your personal business with anyone, even if they are your relatives or call themselves your friends. 

              I'm not rich now and if I ever won a lottery jackpot I can't think of any reason to start treating my relatives and friends any different even if they suspected I had come into some extra money.

               * you don't need to buy more tickets, just buy a winning ticket * 
                 
                           Evil Looking       

                HoLeeKau's avatar - YheaShea
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                Posted: December 28, 2013, 9:37 pm - IP Logged

                You don't have to be anonymous to refuse to discuss your personal business with anyone, even if they are your relatives or call themselves your friends. 

                I'm not rich now and if I ever won a lottery jackpot I can't think of any reason to start treating my relatives and friends any different even if they suspected I had come into some extra money.

                Yeah you can refuse to discuss it when you're poor and they just feel sorry for you.  When they know you've won millions of dollars, all the sudden you become a rich snob who acts like you're too good to talk to them.  Like the guy in the article said, you're <snip>ed if you do and <snip>ed if you don't.

                This post has been automatically changed by the Lottery Post computer system to remove inappropriate content and/or spam.

                  RJOh's avatar - chipmunk
                  mid-Ohio
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                  Posted: December 29, 2013, 5:00 am - IP Logged

                  Yeah you can refuse to discuss it when you're poor and they just feel sorry for you.  When they know you've won millions of dollars, all the sudden you become a rich snob who acts like you're too good to talk to them.  Like the guy in the article said, you're <snip>ed if you do and <snip>ed if you don't.

                  This post has been automatically changed by the Lottery Post computer system to remove inappropriate content and/or spam.

                  (They) will always have an opinion about you but (they) aren't usually your friends anyway so who cares what (they) think?  If you think you have to please people you don't even know then you have a problem.

                   * you don't need to buy more tickets, just buy a winning ticket * 
                     
                               Evil Looking       

                    rdgrnr's avatar - walt
                    Way back up in them dadgum hills, son!
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                    Posted: December 29, 2013, 5:47 am - IP Logged

                    It's hard to say without actually winning, but I plan to be generous, however, if you ask me, my answer will be no.  My gifts will be entirely of my choosing, and I don't want to set a dangerous precedent that not so close friends and strangers can expect money from me like that poor fellow Shakespeare. If they are not happy with my gift, so be it.  I'll have no regrets and will move on.

                    "...I plan to be generous, however, if you ask me, my answer will be no."

                    OK, I promise not to ask but just remember if you win I want some, ok?

                      savagegoose's avatar - ProfilePho
                      adelaide sa
                      Australia
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                      April 11, 2006
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                      Posted: December 29, 2013, 7:00 am - IP Logged

                      this duscussion  reminds me of the guy i know, who alwas bangs on about how much they plan to share winning  lotto , when i know he nevers buys a ticket.

                      2014 = -1016; 2015= -1409; 2016 JAN = -106; FEB= -81; MAR= -131; APR= - 87: MAY= -91; JUN= -39; JUL=-134; AUG= -124; SEP = -123; OCT= -84  NOV=- 73 TOT= -3498

                      keno historic = -2291 ; 2015= -603; 2016= JAN=-32, FEB= +12 , MAR= -86, APR = -77. MAY= -48, JUN= -29, JUL=-71; AUG = -52; SEPT= -43; OCT = +56 NOV = -33 TOT= -3297

                        Slick Nick's avatar - Lottery-035.jpg
                        Rochester
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                        Posted: December 29, 2013, 7:18 am - IP Logged

                        There are so many stories regarding this. I guess the only solution as I've always said is "stand your ground".  If you never called or came to see me before I won, then why are you here now? Smash

                        Money is a terrible master, but a great servant...Smile

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                          New Member
                          Oakland, CA
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                          Posted: December 29, 2013, 12:48 pm - IP Logged

                          I've known wealthy people, poor people, everybody in between. My conclusion: People are generally predictable. The people who will look for a handout or maybe outright ask you for a large percentage of your winnings just because, already do similar things at a smaller scale. Most people, at least if they aren't already suffering financially, will take pride in what they have and maybe be a bit jealous, but not so much. The issue with lottery money is that because you didn't earn it, people who knew you before the win don't really see it as *your* money, just money you were put in control of. Therefore, you parting with it isn't a big deal because you didn't have it to begin with. Then, conversely, it becomes a weird game of, knowing PRECISELY how much money a person has, everybody is paying close attention to your real assets: house, car(s), other items, etc. doing the math, figuring out what's left and so then if you give them too much, you're either a sap or insulting their ability to get by on their own and if you don't, well, like he said, you're stingy for such a rich guy. Then, if you spend any of the money on nice stuff, a lot of people will assume you're being purely careless with your money and if you don't spend it on nice stuff, a lot of people will think "Why did they play if they weren't going to use the money? I know how to use money. I should have that kind of money."

                          It's a no win situation. If I win, I'll win in California, most likely, meaning my identity will be revealed. I already know the people who will hit me up for MILLIONS just because they feel like it. Those are people whose friendships I could already do without, so losing contact won't be guilt-inducing or complicated. As for family- my folks are retirement age and like to tell me they're pretty close to financially set so that if they wanted they could get a vacation property, pay off the house, etc. using their investments and so on, so giving them an extra couple million would probably make the difference. Though I could be wrong.

                          Other family are pretty humble people who either just won't ask, or might even refuse to take it. And as much as I love them at a basic level, if we lost contact, it wouldn't affect anybody's lives. 

                          The people I worry about are exes- both of the girlfriend and hook up varieties. I know for certain nobody can prove I sired a kid and I'm pretty sure nobody could try to sue me for giving them any STI's/STD's. The only other thing I can think of is the nebulous realm of rape, which has a six year statute of limitations. Meaning any girl I've hooked up with after drinking alcohol, or any girl I had relations with during an ugly bout in the relationship could possibly accuse me of rape...that's kind of scary. But, I figure if they wait a really long time to do it and only bother once I've won the lottery, most court systems would see right through that, right?

                          Otherwise anybody suing or looking for a handout is gonna be a random stranger or nebulously connected acquaintance nobody has any way of accounting for.

                          Of course I could be wrong about all of this- I'm known to be a somewhat paranoid guy to begin with.

                            Teddi's avatar - Lottery-008.jpg

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                            Posted: December 29, 2013, 3:39 pm - IP Logged

                            I've known wealthy people, poor people, everybody in between. My conclusion: People are generally predictable. The people who will look for a handout or maybe outright ask you for a large percentage of your winnings just because, already do similar things at a smaller scale. Most people, at least if they aren't already suffering financially, will take pride in what they have and maybe be a bit jealous, but not so much. The issue with lottery money is that because you didn't earn it, people who knew you before the win don't really see it as *your* money, just money you were put in control of. Therefore, you parting with it isn't a big deal because you didn't have it to begin with. Then, conversely, it becomes a weird game of, knowing PRECISELY how much money a person has, everybody is paying close attention to your real assets: house, car(s), other items, etc. doing the math, figuring out what's left and so then if you give them too much, you're either a sap or insulting their ability to get by on their own and if you don't, well, like he said, you're stingy for such a rich guy. Then, if you spend any of the money on nice stuff, a lot of people will assume you're being purely careless with your money and if you don't spend it on nice stuff, a lot of people will think "Why did they play if they weren't going to use the money? I know how to use money. I should have that kind of money."

                            It's a no win situation. If I win, I'll win in California, most likely, meaning my identity will be revealed. I already know the people who will hit me up for MILLIONS just because they feel like it. Those are people whose friendships I could already do without, so losing contact won't be guilt-inducing or complicated. As for family- my folks are retirement age and like to tell me they're pretty close to financially set so that if they wanted they could get a vacation property, pay off the house, etc. using their investments and so on, so giving them an extra couple million would probably make the difference. Though I could be wrong.

                            Other family are pretty humble people who either just won't ask, or might even refuse to take it. And as much as I love them at a basic level, if we lost contact, it wouldn't affect anybody's lives. 

                            The people I worry about are exes- both of the girlfriend and hook up varieties. I know for certain nobody can prove I sired a kid and I'm pretty sure nobody could try to sue me for giving them any STI's/STD's. The only other thing I can think of is the nebulous realm of rape, which has a six year statute of limitations. Meaning any girl I've hooked up with after drinking alcohol, or any girl I had relations with during an ugly bout in the relationship could possibly accuse me of rape...that's kind of scary. But, I figure if they wait a really long time to do it and only bother once I've won the lottery, most court systems would see right through that, right?

                            Otherwise anybody suing or looking for a handout is gonna be a random stranger or nebulously connected acquaintance nobody has any way of accounting for.

                            Of course I could be wrong about all of this- I'm known to be a somewhat paranoid guy to begin with.

                            Well, I have to admit I've never thought about the rape angle, I guess simply because I've never once heard it mentioned by any previous winner, even the ones with the sketchy pasts. But anyone who waits until after a person wins the lottery to cry rape will have a severely uphill battle. Especially if no report had ever been filed. and it's very risky because it's a serious charge to make and it could backfire and have them be charged instead. So I doubt that should be a serious consideration and while I don't consider myself paranoid I do like to plan for every contingency. 

                            Worry more about ex-'friends' either making up stories to sell to the tabloids or trying to claim you had some agreement that you'd split any win. That seems to happen a lot to winners and thn they have to spend money and time trying to prove that no such agreement was ever made. I mean, just look at what that sister did to that winner in Canada. He spent...what? 3 years in court before her case was finally dismissed. That was very troubling to me. 

                            Then there are the people who go onto any business or residential property you own, have a convenient 'accident' and sue for pain, sufferng and whatever other damages they can. Again, they may not win their case, but you're shelling out tens of thousands to lawyers to have it dealt with not to mention just the hassle of being sued. 

                            Yet another reason I wish JP wins were voluntarily anonymous. As I said before, I believe people would enjoy their winnings a lot more if they were allowed anonymity. Half the headaches come simply from getting their names and wealth being publicized. There will still be idiots like The King of Chavs or Leroy Fick or the dear Cynthia Stafford who will do their utmost to show off their 'wealth' as much as they can so the lottery will never need to worry about not being able to milk the free publicity. But for people who want the joy of the wealth, minus a lot of the headaches, it should be a consideration. You shouldn't have to go into hiding because you've been given good fortune. It's ridiculous.

                              Teddi's avatar - Lottery-008.jpg

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                              Posted: December 29, 2013, 3:40 pm - IP Logged

                              "...I plan to be generous, however, if you ask me, my answer will be no."

                              OK, I promise not to ask but just remember if you win I want some, ok?

                              Too funny. ROFLMAO