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Joke- What's the difference between

Topic closed. 57 replies. Last post 11 years ago by sirbrad.

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truecritic's avatar - PirateTreasure
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Posted: March 11, 2006, 12:24 pm - IP Logged

Coin Toss & fja

We need more humor here.

    Todd's avatar - Cylon 2.gif
    Chief Bottle Washer
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    Posted: March 11, 2006, 12:28 pm - IP Logged

    I believe that those who loudly complain about people of faith are being hypocritical, because they are showing their lack of tolerance -- the very thing they are complaining about.  It's especially bad when you have to go cursing about it, because it shows an inability to form cohesive, logical thoughts.

     

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      Posted: March 11, 2006, 12:40 pm - IP Logged

      Q: why is there only 239 beans in Irish Bean Soup






      A: cause if you add one more it would be (Iresh accent) "two farty"

      Thanks,

      That was real cute!

        mylollipop's avatar - Trek STLOGO6.png

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        Posted: March 11, 2006, 12:48 pm - IP Logged

        Maybe we all need to really study the book of Numbers!

        Smile 

        Bible-toters can't play lottery?  Nothing wrong with Bible-toters, helps if they have a sense of humor though.

         

        Really cute Coin Toss, I liked that, the book of Numbers.  I am a Christian too, here at this site getting:

        1. Lottery Results
        2. Lottery News
        3. Tips on how to best invest my dollar (Maybe 3-4 sometimes when I choose advanced play options---LOL) to win a nice jackpot $20 mil plus.
        4. And interact with the various personalities represented at Lottery Post.

        Actually, Coin Toss, the word lottery comes from an anciet word [lot].  The apostle Mathias was chosen by lot (chance).

        There is a lot of humor in the Bible.  When you study it, I mean study, not just read it.  It is an education for all.  Even those who consider themselves "EDUCATED".

        God, always gave us an informed choice.  He NEVER forces us to choose.  I tote my Bible, proud to.  If others choose not to, that is their choice.  Love does not force!

        Lottery Queen, I KNOW firsthand about the POWER of PRAYER!  Time is running out for me. When it is mylollipop's time, I know how the numbers are coming to me, I know they will be divinely revealed.  An $11,000,000.00 jackpot was mine, but I chose to let a family member persuade me not to play it because of their conflicts w/lottery and religion.  My choice cost me.  Again, it was my choice.  I asked, got it, but was too stupid to receive it.  I will have another opportunity, like Jonah and Moses did.  I pray for that.

         Join others and me with this prayer.  It is coming and I must be patient.  A work has to be done and it will only be done with funds from the magnitude of a major jackpot win.  Put mylollipop in your prayer list for that major win this year---before hurricane season 2006 begins!

        And back to the original post:

        Q. What's the difference between praying in church and praying when you watch the numbers being drawn?

        A. When you watch the numbers being drawn you really mean it! 

        ANSWER: IF you are still praying as the numbers are being drawn, you can forget it!  This jackpot is not yours!  You do not have enough faith.  Pray about it and leave it there!  When the answer is YES, you will see your answer in the morning! Blue AngelLOL.

        There is so much humor in the Bible.  It will make you laugh at yourself.  Read it sometime if you have not.  May I suggest the Proverbs...

          Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
          Zeta Reticuli Star System
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          Posted: March 11, 2006, 1:46 pm - IP Logged

          mylollipop

          Excellent post, but tell me, if you had all five numbers drawn of five, you wouldn't be aying an extra little prayer for that sixth number or the MM or PB number to be the one on your ticket? I think most would.

          Wink 

           

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            Sparta, NJ
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            Posted: March 11, 2006, 1:59 pm - IP Logged

            I believe that those who loudly complain about people of faith are being hypocritical, because they are showing their lack of tolerance -- the very thing they are complaining about.  It's especially bad when you have to go cursing about it, because it shows an inability to form cohesive, logical thoughts.

            What cursing do you see?  I haven't seen any curse words on this thread.  Some words Chirstians might try to oppress, like most anti-christ thoughts they used to be able to suppress; but gradually lost the power to suppress.  Chopping peoples heads off, a standard christian practice, is no longer acceptable.  But I'm not seeing any curse words here.  I see belief in mythology, with nothing to substantiate its existance. I also see cohesive logical thoughts questioning books written by people who could neither read, nor write, then carried down through generations like most superstitions.  The magically documented book, in a dead language, by men, through the guidance of the perfect one - and full of errors and illogical, noncochesive, thoughts. Extrtemely far from perfect!  I'll keep looking for the curse words, or just plain offense words, maybe you can had them to your filter.  Not all offsensive words are four letters, some are three letters.  Then again, pray is a four letter word.

            Cheers

            |||::> *'`*:-.,_,.-:*''*:--->>> Chewie  <<<---.*''*:-.,_,.-:*''* <:::|||

            I only trust myself - and that's a questionable choice

              LuckyGa3's avatar - DiscoBallGlowing

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              Posted: March 11, 2006, 2:02 pm - IP Logged

              The joke was very cute and  I enjoyed it . Thanks for the laugh. :)

              But then I read on and felt sad :(

              1st- I really truly enjoy this site and find some great people here and very smart .and Todd I have to say I know that this is a good site and God will bless it becasue he said do not be ashamed of him and made a very nice comment and I hope that you will not be upset but I have to say this.

              Chewie . I really and truly hate you feel this way and I may never get to post again but i will go out happy by writing this . Some of you all may say this is not the place for this but when God gives us a chance to spread the joy of love and his grace I will do it and I really felt strong about this one.

              Chewie , This is not the first post that i have seen you leave very neg comments and I just want you to know , Its a choice . I want you to think about something and you don't have to make any comments .But what do you have to loose if you prayed and excepted the free gift of life ? nothing  but what do you have if you don't? everything . But again its a free gift and is the best gift you will ever receive . I am not perfect and many times I have failed . But let me tell you this .My Dad was in horriable tractor trailer wreck and laid pinned under his truck with his arm off and a guardrail in his body for 3 hours and blood being pumped the entire time. and he laid in comma for months .he was alot like you  torn and di not want any part of religion but when he awoke he told us that Jesus came to him while he was under the tractor trailer and ask my dad what are going to do now ? My Dad told him he would love to stay with his family and that he would always believe forever . My Dad is not going to a church but he does pray now and realizes all things happen for a reason. God has a plan for you chewie and I hope that you will reconsider before its to late . I don;t think you are a very bad person at all . I realize you seen alot of thinsg that have just made feel this way .but let me assure you the rest of us have to ,but it does not stop us from religion and loving  Jesus Christ . I lost my Grandson last sept and he was so young but you know God knew what he was doing . So anyway being all thatis said here . I will be praying for you and I know God will work in your life really soon

              i was not there when that Hung my savior and spit on him adn nailed him to the cross but I am now and I just could not sit here and read this with out saying what I have .

              Please know that I thank God for allowing me to be able to share this with you and the rest .

              Many Blessings to you all .

              Teresa

                Todd's avatar - Cylon 2.gif
                Chief Bottle Washer
                New Jersey
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                Posted: March 11, 2006, 2:18 pm - IP Logged

                I believe that those who loudly complain about people of faith are being hypocritical, because they are showing their lack of tolerance -- the very thing they are complaining about.  It's especially bad when you have to go cursing about it, because it shows an inability to form cohesive, logical thoughts.

                What cursing do you see?  I haven't seen any curse words on this thread.  Some words Chirstians might try to oppress, like most anti-christ thoughts they used to be able to suppress; but gradually lost the power to suppress.  Chopping peoples heads off, a standard christian practice, is no longer acceptable.  But I'm not seeing any curse words here.  I see belief in mythology, with nothing to substantiate its existance. I also see cohesive logical thoughts questioning books written by people who could neither read, nor write, then carried down through generations like most superstitions.  The magically documented book, in a dead language, by men, through the guidance of the perfect one - and full of errors and illogical, noncochesive, thoughts. Extrtemely far from perfect!  I'll keep looking for the curse words, or just plain offense words, maybe you can had them to your filter.  Not all offsensive words are four letters, some are three letters.  Then again, pray is a four letter word.

                Curses I see:

                • bull-crap!
                • infected rats rear-end

                No, they're not the f-bomb, but still not something I would want to expose children to.  We're all adults here, but we don't want a trash-talking site.

                Other miscellanous nastiness, totally un-called for:

                • Billions of years, Katrillions of years, and prayer hasn't solved a damn thing. (wrong)
                • mumbo-jumbo is proven to mean nothing.  (It's not mumbo-jumbo, and it does mean something)
                • peon-angel
                • Keep praying, it keeps the flies occupied. (Actually, it might eventually help even you)
                • dead soldiers who your God decided weren't worthy of life. (How offensive!)

                I really don't think a harmless joke warrants your tirade.

                 

                Check the State Lottery Report Card
                What grade did your lottery earn?

                 

                Sign the Petition for True Lottery Drawings
                Help eliminate computerized drawings!

                  Rick G's avatar - avatar 1766.jpg
                  FEMA Region V Camp #21
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                  Posted: March 11, 2006, 2:58 pm - IP Logged

                  I thought the two jokes were funny. Why get all serious about it? I'm Irish and I love the bean joke and will be passing it on to my buds at the pub who are mostlly Irish too and I guarantee they'll laugh. When we can't laugh at jokes because they are "politically incorrect" then WE have a problem.

                  Thank you Coin Toss and Fja for a couple of laughs!

                  Big Grin


                  PS...obviously you guys don't have chewie on your block-post list. I don't read any of his posts except when I'm forced to by the "quote" option which I cannot stand. As I've said before, when I want a poster blocked, I want every single word they post on this website blocked totally unless I choose to look at it.

                  Posted 4/6:  IL Pick 3 midday and evening until they hit:  555, 347 (str8).


                    Todd's avatar - Cylon 2.gif
                    Chief Bottle Washer
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                    Posted: March 11, 2006, 3:22 pm - IP Logged

                    Rick,

                    I know there are some holes in the block feature, and I hope to address them.  Over the next year I will be gradually converting Lottery Post over to ASP.NET, page-by-page, and I will try to address showtcomings of each page as I get to it.  Thanks for the reminder.

                    I too enjoyed the joke, I just don't like when people bash other people just because of the ideas or thoughts that they have.  Thanks Coin Toss and Fja!

                     

                    Check the State Lottery Report Card
                    What grade did your lottery earn?

                     

                    Sign the Petition for True Lottery Drawings
                    Help eliminate computerized drawings!

                      Rick G's avatar - avatar 1766.jpg
                      FEMA Region V Camp #21
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                      Posted: March 11, 2006, 3:34 pm - IP Logged

                      Thanks, Todd.

                      Jokes are meant to be funny and lighten up our lives. We can take them as offensive or as their original intent. If a joke is offensive to us that is our right to believe so. But most of us still have the ability to laugh at ourselves. For one to take a joke and take a "left-hand turn" with it for discussion of their own agenda wouldn't cut it in the real world.

                      Anyone ever see the character "Debbie Downer" on Saturday Nite Live? Unhappy

                      Posted 4/6:  IL Pick 3 midday and evening until they hit:  555, 347 (str8).


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                        Coastal Georgia
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                        Posted: March 11, 2006, 3:44 pm - IP Logged

                        I'm stayin out of this one.Blue Angel

                        Somebody done went and opened up a can of  Argue

                         

                        DD

                         

                                                       

                                      

                         

                         

                          Raven62's avatar - binary
                          New Jersey
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                          Posted: March 11, 2006, 4:24 pm - IP Logged

                          A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim
                          it where the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, "I want
                          my $20 million". To which the man replied, "No sir. It doesn't work that
                          way. We give you a million today, and then you'll get the rest spread
                          out for the next 19 years. The Redneck said, "I want all my money RIGHT
                          now! I won it, and I want it". Again the man patiently explains that he
                          would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.
                          The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I WANT MY MONEY!!
                          If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now,
                          THEN I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK!"


                          Did you hear about the man who won $20,000,000 on the Lottery?
                          He gets $20 a year for a million years.


                          An old guy and his son had a one-mule farm where they eked out a living.
                          One day, the son hit the lottery and won $50,000. He rushed into town,
                          collected his money, then hurried back home, where he told his father
                          the good news, and handed him $50 bill. The father looked at the money
                          for a moment and then said, "Son, you know I've always been careful with
                          what little money we had. I didn't spend it on whiskey or women. In fact,
                          I couldn't even afford a license to legally marry your Ma." "Pa!" the
                          son exclaims, "do you know what that makes me?" "Sure do," said the old
                          guy fingering the fifty-dollar bill. "And a damn cheap one, too."

                            Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
                            Zeta Reticuli Star System
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                            Posted: March 11, 2006, 4:32 pm - IP Logged

                            Gee folks, I was just paraphrasing a very old casino / racetrack joke to the lottery.

                            No harm intended, just trying to cause a chuckle or two, for those who did, thanks.

                            For those who launched tirades, Native Americans have a belief that the first things a person says after they die is, "Why was I so serious", might be sonething to think about.

                            Oh well, no good deed goes unpunsihed.

                              truecritic's avatar - PirateTreasure
                              Michigan
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                              Posted: March 11, 2006, 6:07 pm - IP Logged

                              Raven's bunch!