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Lottery headlines I'd like to see

Topic closed. 34 replies. Last post 10 years ago by JimmySand9.

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United States
Member #379
June 5, 2002
11296 Posts
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Posted: July 10, 2006, 5:32 pm - IP Logged

NY Lotto Increases Payout to 50%

MA Megabucks Introduces Cash Option

PA Cancels Lucky for Life

GA and KY Add Cash Option to Win for Life

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    Coastal Georgia
    United States
    Member #2653
    October 30, 2003
    1866 Posts
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    Posted: July 10, 2006, 5:58 pm - IP Logged

    Lottery Headline I would like to see:

    I won the jackpot . I'll take it.

     

                                   

                  

     

     

      Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
      Zeta Reticuli Star System
      United States
      Member #30470
      January 17, 2006
      10351 Posts
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      Posted: July 10, 2006, 7:52 pm - IP Logged

      Some more:

      Mega Millions won in Illinois
      (not sure it's ever happened) 

      also:

      Illinois Little Lotto, Illinois Lotto  both hit outside of Chicago 

      Illinois Little Lotto goes back top 5/ 30 

      and: National Lottery, Lotto USA starts 

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        Sunny California
        United States
        Member #40295
        May 31, 2006
        7712 Posts
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        Posted: July 10, 2006, 10:02 pm - IP Logged

        "$120 Million Jackpot won by 120 people!"

         

        I'm sick of seeing one person always win a big one like that. Spread it around!! I'd settle for a mil.

          JAP69's avatar - alas
          South Carolina
          United States
          Member #6
          November 4, 2001
          8790 Posts
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          Posted: July 10, 2006, 10:05 pm - IP Logged


          Lottery anuities banned.

          ROFL

          MAGA

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            New Mexico
            United States
            Member #12305
            March 10, 2005
            2984 Posts
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            Posted: July 10, 2006, 10:12 pm - IP Logged

            LOTTERY OFFICIALS INDICTED

            FEDERAL GRAND JURY HANDS DOWN 27 INDICTMENTS

            In other news, the US Senate and House of representatives proceeded carefully in their attempt to dethrone the King of the United States today.  Both houses of government confirmed yesterdays unanimous vote for impeachment in hopes by doing it again the King would acknowledge they have the power to do so under the provisions of the late US Constitution.  Spokesman for the office of the King cleverly observed, "No comment."

            Absorb the good, ignore the bad, weigh the ugly.

            It's about number behavior.

            Egos don't count.

             

            Dedicated to the memory of Big Loooser

             

              dvdiva's avatar - 8ball

              United States
              Member #2338
              September 17, 2003
              2063 Posts
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              Posted: July 10, 2006, 10:22 pm - IP Logged

              MM has a record jackpot and I'm the sole winner. Of course the odds of MM actually having a record (of all time) jackpot are about the same as me winning it.

                BaristaExpress's avatar - BaristaExpressMX zpsfb0d8b5d.png
                Magnolia, Delaware
                United States
                Member #18795
                July 20, 2005
                789 Posts
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                Posted: July 10, 2006, 11:33 pm - IP Logged

                People of the United States, today is the first day of the National Lottery! You asked for it and now you're going to get it!

                Six months later: United States Supreme Court indites all house and Senate members! Charges are the pilfering of the peoples money from the National Lottery for personal gain (excessive pay raises, more paid vacation time, etc).

                Now that's something I hope never comes to light (A National Lottery to fund national disaster relief). That would be more money going to something other than it was intended to go too! A National Lottery for disaster relief is A BAD IDEA!

                Keep dreaming the impossible dream, it just may come true! Thumbs Up

                  Avatar
                  New Mexico
                  United States
                  Member #12305
                  March 10, 2005
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                  Posted: July 10, 2006, 11:33 pm - IP Logged

                  GOD DISCOVERED LIVING ON THE MOON

                  In a surprise development today, NASA officials announced God is alive and well, living on the moon.  "He seems to be doing okay," John Luniscimo, director of public relations for NASA, observed.  "He's just up there playing the numbers and growing a beard."

                  Absorb the good, ignore the bad, weigh the ugly.

                  It's about number behavior.

                  Egos don't count.

                   

                  Dedicated to the memory of Big Loooser

                   

                    Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
                    Zeta Reticuli Star System
                    United States
                    Member #30470
                    January 17, 2006
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                    Posted: July 10, 2006, 11:50 pm - IP Logged

                    How about:

                     Aliens land! Came here to ask Earth to join the inter-galactic Mahooga Millions jackpot game!!

                      justxploring's avatar - villiarna
                      Wandering Aimlessly
                      United States
                      Member #25360
                      November 5, 2005
                      4461 Posts
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                      Posted: July 11, 2006, 12:37 am - IP Logged

                        **ILLEGAL ALIENS FIGHT FOR RIGHT TO COLLECT $50M JACKPOT**  

                      Visiting for a winter vacation, Messrs Klaatu and E.T. showed up at lottery headquarters in Tallahassee with their attorneys.  Each lucky player won 1/2 of the $50 million jackpot drawn on December 27.  Mr. E.T. said he first learned of his win after he phoned home.  When Mr. Klaatu was asked about his reaction, all he could say was "The Earth stood still."  When presenting identification, Lottery Officials state neither winner could show proof of resident alien status. Lottery Commissioner, I.M. Screwinyall, announced "The prize money will be held until further investigation."  He cannot be reached for comment until his return from Las Vegas next month.  Attorneys for the frustrated winners could only say "Wait until Gort gets wind of this."

                      Similar controversy arose last year when several Fantasy 5 winners were discovered living in pods and were denied prize money.  Chairman Grey V. Robber of NABS (The Natl Assn of Body Snatchers) said it was an outrage and warned "You're next, you're next!"  Although the ticket is considered to be a bearer instrument, Florida Law mandates that it must be presented by a body's original occupant. 

                        Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
                        Zeta Reticuli Star System
                        United States
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                        January 17, 2006
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                        Posted: July 11, 2006, 1:06 am - IP Logged

                        justxploring

                         
                        You're killing me!

                        Green laugh 

                          dvdiva's avatar - 8ball

                          United States
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                          September 17, 2003
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                          Posted: July 11, 2006, 1:15 am - IP Logged

                          If aliens have the intelligence to come here in the first place they would have the intelligence not to land and deal with humans in the first place.

                            Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
                            Zeta Reticuli Star System
                            United States
                            Member #30470
                            January 17, 2006
                            10351 Posts
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                            Posted: July 11, 2006, 1:17 am - IP Logged

                             Unless of course they're just coming to check on their colony, planted so long ago.

                              time*treat's avatar - radar

                              United States
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                              March 30, 2005
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                              Posted: July 11, 2006, 1:28 am - IP Logged

                              Hmmm, even without the timestamp, you can tell the late late-night posts Bed

                              In neo-conned Amerika, bank robs you.
                              Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms should be the name of a convenience store, not a govnoment agency.