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Lottery headlines I'd like to see

Topic closed. 34 replies. Last post 10 years ago by JimmySand9.

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Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
Zeta Reticuli Star System
United States
Member #30470
January 17, 2006
10351 Posts
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Posted: July 11, 2006, 1:31 am - IP Logged

 We own the night 

Tom Clancy in Clear and Present Danger, adopted by Art Bell as motto for his Coast to Coast am radio program (now hosted by George Noory during the week)

 

 

    justxploring's avatar - villiarna
    Wandering Aimlessly
    United States
    Member #25360
    November 5, 2005
    4461 Posts
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    Posted: July 11, 2006, 1:37 am - IP Logged

    "Fortunes have been made on ideas dismissed by others as having no value."

    Is this an original phrase or a quote?  I like it.

      emilyg's avatar - cat anm.gif

      United States
      Member #14
      November 9, 2001
      31354 Posts
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      Posted: July 11, 2006, 1:45 am - IP Logged

        **ILLEGAL ALIENS FIGHT FOR RIGHT TO COLLECT $50M JACKPOT**  

      Visiting for a winter vacation, Messrs Klaatu and E.T. showed up at lottery headquarters in Tallahassee with their attorneys.  Each lucky player won 1/2 of the $50 million jackpot drawn on December 27.  Mr. E.T. said he first learned of his win after he phoned home.  When Mr. Klaatu was asked about his reaction, all he could say was "The Earth stood still."  When presenting identification, Lottery Officials state neither winner could show proof of resident alien status. Lottery Commissioner, I.M. Screwinyall, announced "The prize money will be held until further investigation."  He cannot be reached for comment until his return from Las Vegas next month.  Attorneys for the frustrated winners could only say "Wait until Gort gets wind of this."

      Similar controversy arose last year when several Fantasy 5 winners were discovered living in pods and were denied prize money.  Chairman Grey V. Robber of NABS (The Natl Assn of Body Snatchers) said it was an outrage and warned "You're next, you're next!"  Although the ticket is considered to be a bearer instrument, Florida Law mandates that it must be presented by a body's original occupant. 

                           

       

                                                               Too Funny 





      love to nibble those micey feet.

       

                                   

        Avatar

        United States
        Member #1826
        July 11, 2003
        2645 Posts
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        Posted: July 11, 2006, 1:53 am - IP Logged

        President signs "Age Of Majority Protection Act".

        The President signed a bill banning all age restrictions set over age 18, with an exception given to services oriented toward senior citizens and to minimum ages for purchasing tobacco. The law will require states to lower the minimum age to purchase alcohol, and to gamble, to age 18 if it hasn't been set to 18 already. Rental car agencies will also be required to rent cars to persons 18 years of age or older, although they may charge higher fees, up to a 100% increase, for younger drivers. Lotteries in Arizona, Iowa, Louisiana, and Nebraska will have to decrease their minimum purchase ages to 18 as well.

        (insert signature here)

          justxploring's avatar - villiarna
          Wandering Aimlessly
          United States
          Member #25360
          November 5, 2005
          4461 Posts
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          Posted: July 11, 2006, 2:25 am - IP Logged

          President signs "Age Of Majority Protection Act".

          The President signed a bill banning all age restrictions set over age 18, with an exception given to services oriented toward senior citizens and to minimum ages for purchasing tobacco. The law will require states to lower the minimum age to purchase alcohol, and to gamble, to age 18 if it hasn't been set to 18 already. Rental car agencies will also be required to rent cars to persons 18 years of age or older, although they may charge higher fees, up to a 100% increase, for younger drivers. Lotteries in Arizona, Iowa, Louisiana, and Nebraska will have to decrease their minimum purchase ages to 18 as well.

                                      I Agree!

           

            psykomo's avatar - animal shark.jpg

            United States
            Member #4877
            May 30, 2004
            5121 Posts
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            Posted: July 11, 2006, 2:38 am - IP Logged

            justxploring

             
            You're killing me!

            Green laugh 

             

            float the boat this summer..........SEA PICK-5 ALIVE!!!!!!!!!

            LOL>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>PICK-ah- PICK-5 $TATE>>>>$$$$$$

            U-2...................kan Winnnn>>>$$

            LOL

            PSYKOMO...................................."HOT"$$$$$$$

             

             

              psykomo's avatar - animal shark.jpg

              United States
              Member #4877
              May 30, 2004
              5121 Posts
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              Posted: July 11, 2006, 2:56 am - IP Logged

              justxploring

               
              You're killing me!

              Green laugh 

               

              float the boat this summer..........SEA PICK-5 ALIVE!!!!!!!!!

              LOL>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>PICK-ah- PICK-5 $TATE>>>>$$$$$$

              U-2...................kan Winnnn>>>$$

              LOL

              PSYKOMO...................................."HOT"$$$$$$$

               

               

              No problem.......................take .......TAKA...........TAKAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHPICH_%

              %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% %%%%%%%%%%%

              !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111----------------------!!

              "GET on the...........................""BALL""$$$$$

              lol$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

              PsYkOmO.................$$$$$$$$$$$

               

                wannawin24's avatar - Lottery-001.jpg
                GA
                United States
                Member #33582
                February 22, 2006
                1026 Posts
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                Posted: July 11, 2006, 5:16 am - IP Logged

                Lottery Headline I would like to see:

                GA Midday Cash 4 Computer Glitch 6666 Really Came!

                 

                My NUMBER FELL!!!
                Custom Smiley 

                 







                  Avatar
                  New Mexico
                  United States
                  Member #12305
                  March 10, 2005
                  2984 Posts
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                  Posted: July 11, 2006, 7:18 am - IP Logged

                  New Mexico Roadrunner Jackpot Soars - Lottery Officials Baffled

                   $168 Million and climbing

                   In other news, FDA officials take measures to add ink to the controlled substances list.  Certain inks have been found to produce severe hallucinagenic reactions. 

                  Outside a convenience store in Bernalillo, NM, a customer was seen to be licking a lottery ticket.  "This is real good sh*t", he muttered.

                  Meanwhile, NM Lottery Commission has announced the debut of a new line of scratchers.  "This is the most innovative scratcher yet to appear in the US," asserted one official.  "Until now no state has offered a razor-blade and soda straw to assist customers in exposing the psychadelic drawings on the scratcher."

                  Absorb the good, ignore the bad, weigh the ugly.

                  It's about number behavior.

                  Egos don't count.

                   

                  Dedicated to the memory of Big Loooser

                   


                    United States
                    Member #17555
                    June 22, 2005
                    5582 Posts
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                    Posted: July 11, 2006, 8:58 am - IP Logged

                      **ILLEGAL ALIENS FIGHT FOR RIGHT TO COLLECT $50M JACKPOT**  

                    Visiting for a winter vacation, Messrs Klaatu and E.T. showed up at lottery headquarters in Tallahassee with their attorneys.  Each lucky player won 1/2 of the $50 million jackpot drawn on December 27.  Mr. E.T. said he first learned of his win after he phoned home.  When Mr. Klaatu was asked about his reaction, all he could say was "The Earth stood still."  When presenting identification, Lottery Officials state neither winner could show proof of resident alien status. Lottery Commissioner, I.M. Screwinyall, announced "The prize money will be held until further investigation."  He cannot be reached for comment until his return from Las Vegas next month.  Attorneys for the frustrated winners could only say "Wait until Gort gets wind of this."

                    Similar controversy arose last year when several Fantasy 5 winners were discovered living in pods and were denied prize money.  Chairman Grey V. Robber of NABS (The Natl Assn of Body Snatchers) said it was an outrage and warned "You're next, you're next!"  Although the ticket is considered to be a bearer instrument, Florida Law mandates that it must be presented by a body's original occupant. 

                    LOL....

                    Now I know why ET's eyes were so big and wide open.

                    He saw the phone bill.....

                      Bryan's avatar - Lottery-002.jpg
                      Mid-Missouri
                      United States
                      Member #644
                      August 31, 2002
                      4271 Posts
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                      Posted: July 11, 2006, 9:31 am - IP Logged

                      Lottery Masses Get Their Wish. Computerized Drawings Banned In All States!

                        justxploring's avatar - villiarna
                        Wandering Aimlessly
                        United States
                        Member #25360
                        November 5, 2005
                        4461 Posts
                        Offline
                        Posted: July 11, 2006, 7:17 pm - IP Logged

                        New Mexico Roadrunner Jackpot Soars - Lottery Officials Baffled

                         $168 Million and climbing

                         In other news, FDA officials take measures to add ink to the controlled substances list.  Certain inks have been found to produce severe hallucinagenic reactions. 

                        Outside a convenience store in Bernalillo, NM, a customer was seen to be licking a lottery ticket.  "This is real good sh*t", he muttered.

                        Meanwhile, NM Lottery Commission has announced the debut of a new line of scratchers.  "This is the most innovative scratcher yet to appear in the US," asserted one official.  "Until now no state has offered a razor-blade and soda straw to assist customers in exposing the psychadelic drawings on the scratcher."

                        Funny!!  LOL 

                        They would definitely sell a lot of tickets!  I never thought of it before, but the lottery prize is named just right for ya!

                             JACK-POT   

                        If they started selling those new scratch-offs in the state of Florida it would put a whole new meaning to the word "Sunshine" state.  The jackpot would really mushroom. (groan)

                         

                         Banana Electrical banana, is gonna be a sudden craze....

                          time*treat's avatar - radar

                          United States
                          Member #13130
                          March 30, 2005
                          2171 Posts
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                          Posted: July 11, 2006, 8:05 pm - IP Logged

                          "Fortunes have been made on ideas dismissed by others as having no value."

                          Is this an original phrase or a quote?  I like it.

                          Hi JXP,

                          It's an original as far as I know, but once you put it on the web it seems you no longer "own" it Wink .

                          I came up with it as a result of a discussion of the lotto type games. I'm still working on proving its validity in that context. Cool 

                          In neo-conned Amerika, bank robs you.
                          Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms should be the name of a convenience store, not a govnoment agency.

                            mylollipop's avatar - Trek STLOGO6.png

                            United States
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                            October 21, 2005
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                            Posted: July 12, 2006, 3:33 pm - IP Logged

                            National Disaster Lottery Approved to Be Operated by Private Non-Profit Organizations.

                              Fibonacci's avatar - Lottery-050.jpg
                              New York, NY
                              United States
                              Member #39471
                              May 16, 2006
                              2696 Posts
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                              Posted: July 12, 2006, 8:22 pm - IP Logged

                              The New Luck Time$


                                   
                              Lottery Post Produces its 151st Millionaire
                              Lucky Lottery Lovers--met in Cyberspace

                              $$$