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'Lucky Lotto Limericks'

Topic closed. 41 replies. Last post 10 years ago by Coin Toss.

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Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
Zeta Reticuli Star System
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Posted: December 30, 2006, 1:45 am - IP Logged

Just for fun, to close out the year and bring in the New Year, let's make up some "Lucky Lotto Limericks"

Justxploring, where are you? 

Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

Lep

There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.

    justxploring's avatar - villiarna
    Wandering Aimlessly
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    Posted: December 30, 2006, 1:49 am - IP Logged

    The problem is that limericks are usually a little "off-color" and usually start with that man from Nantucket.

    There once was a man from Nantucket,

    Who bought lottery tickets by the bucket.

    He scratched for a decade,

    Lost every penny he made,

    And then finally said "Oh, just f.....

     

    (can't finish this on LP) 

      justxploring's avatar - villiarna
      Wandering Aimlessly
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      Posted: December 30, 2006, 1:52 am - IP Logged

      There once was a lady from Phoenix,

      Who wrote all her numbers on Kleenex.

      One day she got the flu,

      And she blew and she blew,

      So now her numbers are

       

      Okay...what else rhymes with Phoenix??

        Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
        Zeta Reticuli Star System
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        Posted: December 30, 2006, 2:03 am - IP Logged

         So now all her numbers are quick picks!

        Couldn't resist, didn't fit rhyme-wise, but fit the whole limerick like a glove!

        Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

        Lep

        There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.

          Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
          Zeta Reticuli Star System
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          Posted: December 30, 2006, 2:10 am - IP Logged

          There's a guy on LP named Rick

          has a thing for this Chicago chick

          she calls the balls as they fall

          numbers are off the wall

          doesn't matter, she's now his sig! 

          Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

          Lep

          There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.

            justxploring's avatar - villiarna
            Wandering Aimlessly
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            Posted: December 30, 2006, 3:05 am - IP Logged

             So now all her numbers are quick picks!

            Couldn't resist, didn't fit rhyme-wise, but fit the whole limerick like a glove!

            LOL  Guess I need to stop trying so hard!  Good fit.

              Avatar
              Sunny California
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              Posted: December 30, 2006, 10:01 am - IP Logged

              When I saw the title of this thread I said to myself, COIN TOSS! LOL  Love your humorous interjections here at the Post! Just what we need after a laborous day of number crunching! Thanks for the laughs,you two! Look forward to these. You kids are great!

                Rick G's avatar - avatar 1766.jpg
                FEMA Region V Camp #21
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                Posted: December 30, 2006, 10:08 am - IP Logged

                There's a guy on LP named Rick

                has a thing for this Chicago chick

                she calls the balls as they fall

                numbers are off the wall

                doesn't matter, she's now his sig! 

                Good one, Coin Toss!  I like that.  Big Grin

                I would only change the last line to

                "Doesn't matter, she's still his pick".

                Posted 4/6:  IL Pick 3 midday and evening until they hit:  555, 347 (str8).


                  Rick G's avatar - avatar 1766.jpg
                  FEMA Region V Camp #21
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                  Posted: December 30, 2006, 10:25 am - IP Logged

                  There once was a boy named Coin Toss

                  Who always dreamed of being pit boss.

                  But then he got bored and finally broke free

                  And now he just plays lottery. 

                  Posted 4/6:  IL Pick 3 midday and evening until they hit:  555, 347 (str8).


                    Litebets27's avatar - power
                    Maryland
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                    Posted: December 30, 2006, 10:50 am - IP Logged

                    The problem is that limericks are usually a little "off-color" and usually start with that man from Nantucket.

                    There once was a man from Nantucket,

                    Who bought lottery tickets by the bucket.

                    He scratched for a decade,

                    Lost every penny he made,

                    And then finally said "Oh, just f.....

                     

                    (can't finish this on LP) 

                    There once was a man from Nantucket

                    who bought lottery tickets by the bucket

                    There, then came a big win

                    He lost Family and Friends

                    And now sleeps with a cold, locked Musket

                    Feeling,  PRICELESS!!!Banana

                    Come on Jackpot!!!

                      Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
                      Zeta Reticuli Star System
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                      Posted: December 30, 2006, 11:09 am - IP Logged


                      Great stuff folks, thanks for the compliments, too.

                       Rick G, pretty close to the truth! 

                      Wink

                      lottoluaghs, anyday you can make someone else giggle is a good day! 

                      Justxploring, lottolaughs said "kids"

                      Green laugh

                       

                      Litebets27, good one, and nice 'save'! 

                      Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

                      Lep

                      There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.

                        justxploring's avatar - villiarna
                        Wandering Aimlessly
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                        Posted: December 30, 2006, 11:23 am - IP Logged

                        There once was a man from Nantucket

                        who bought lottery tickets by the bucket

                        There, then came a big win

                        He lost Family and Friends

                        And now sleeps with a cold, locked Musket

                        Thanks for cleaning mine up, Litebets.  Must have been the pressure.  You see your name in "lights" in the middle of the night and the race is on!!

                        Hyper

                        There was a lady who lived by the shore,

                        Who worked at a convenience store.

                        She stole winners from a client,

                        And was very defiant,

                        But now she's serving 3 to 4! 

                         

                        There once was a man from Haiti

                        Who dreamed about being a lady.

                        One day he got lucky

                        He's no longer Chucky

                        And is driving around in a Lexus.

                          Litebets27's avatar - power
                          Maryland
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                          Posted: December 30, 2006, 11:33 am - IP Logged

                          Thanks for cleaning mine up, Litebets.  Must have been the pressure.  You see your name in "lights" in the middle of the night and the race is on!!

                          Hyper

                          There was a lady who lived by the shore,

                          Who worked at a convenience store.

                          She stole winners from a client,

                          And was very defiant,

                          But now she's serving 3 to 4! 

                           

                          There once was a man from Haiti

                          Who dreamed about being a lady.

                          One day he got lucky

                          He's no longer Chucky

                          And is driving around in a Lexus.

                          I tried to use another word in the place of the locked Mucket, but the word was edited out by LP. Must have been "TOO DIRTY". Embarassed.

                          litebets

                          Feeling,  PRICELESS!!!Banana

                          Come on Jackpot!!!

                            justxploring's avatar - villiarna
                            Wandering Aimlessly
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                            Posted: December 30, 2006, 11:45 am - IP Logged

                            I need to work, but this is getting my brain functioning!  (or not...) LOL

                             

                            There once was a woman from L.A.

                            Who bought tickets every single day.

                            When she finally hit the jackpot

                            She said "Tell Hubby? I think not!"

                            And she's hiding somewhere in Bombay.

                              Rick G's avatar - avatar 1766.jpg
                              FEMA Region V Camp #21
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                              Posted: December 30, 2006, 11:51 am - IP Logged

                              Justx...those are some good ones!  LOL

                              Posted 4/6:  IL Pick 3 midday and evening until they hit:  555, 347 (str8).