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'Lucky Lotto Limericks'

Topic closed. 41 replies. Last post 10 years ago by Coin Toss.

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Rick G's avatar - avatar 1766.jpg
FEMA Region V Camp #21
United States
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July 27, 2002
5699 Posts
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Posted: December 30, 2006, 12:02 pm - IP Logged

This is for justxploring...

There once was a woman named Nance

who bought tickets thinking "no chance".

But after she won, she basked in the sun

and said "I don't need no stinkin' romance". 

Posted 4/6:  IL Pick 3 midday and evening until they hit:  555, 347 (str8).


    justxploring's avatar - villiarna
    Wandering Aimlessly
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    Posted: December 30, 2006, 12:05 pm - IP Logged

    Do you remember those Monica Lewinsky/Ted Kaczynski contests many years ago?  I entered one, but I can't post it here. Anyway, how about one on the lottery?

    There once was a gal named Lewinsky

    Who received tickets by mail from Kaczynski.

    They weren't safe and she knew it,

    She said, "Now we both blew it!"

    And her tickets are stuck to her chinski.

     

    (Aw, Rick.  Thanks, but you could still join me for a Pina Colada...and take Linda along.)

      justxploring's avatar - villiarna
      Wandering Aimlessly
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      Posted: December 30, 2006, 12:11 pm - IP Logged

      Oops - I think my last comment came out wrong, Rick. 

       

      By they way, the Haiti one doesn't rhyme.  I goofed. Change Lexus to Mercedes. I started out writing "There once was a man from Texas, who dreamed about being Alexis"

       

      There once was a man from Haiti

      Who dreamed about being a lady.

      One day he got lucky

      He's no longer Chucky

      And is driving around in a Mercedes.

       

      Bob wanted a brand new Mercedes,

      So he could really impress the ladies.

      So he stole from the Mob

      And now poor old Bob

      Is driving a Yugo in Haides.

        Rick G's avatar - avatar 1766.jpg
        FEMA Region V Camp #21
        United States
        Member #520
        July 27, 2002
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        Posted: December 30, 2006, 12:25 pm - IP Logged

        Nancy, I'll take you up on that drink (rum punch for me)...but I can't bring Linda along because she's filed a protective order against me.  She claims my unrequited love is harrassment.

        What?

        Posted 4/6:  IL Pick 3 midday and evening until they hit:  555, 347 (str8).


          Rick G's avatar - avatar 1766.jpg
          FEMA Region V Camp #21
          United States
          Member #520
          July 27, 2002
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          Posted: December 30, 2006, 12:43 pm - IP Logged

          There once was a man from Nantuckett

          who bought a chance but his wife told him "chuck it".

          When his numbers came in he flashed a big grin

          and from her big ass he un-stuck it. 

          Posted 4/6:  IL Pick 3 midday and evening until they hit:  555, 347 (str8).


            lotterybraker's avatar - pyramid
            mississippi
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            Posted: December 30, 2006, 12:50 pm - IP Logged

            People all over the world play the Lottery,but

            Before they play they come to L.P...

            They come to see me and you..

            We are the best at what we do

            They come each and every day..

            Just to take our numbers away..

            LP members feel good about your deed

            you have just helped out those in need

            "Attention all Mathematicians: Check your degree at the door because when it comes to whole numbers you are the Amateur"

              Avatar

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              February 19, 2006
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              Posted: December 30, 2006, 1:30 pm - IP Logged

              There once was a man from Illinois

              who wanted to buy some new toys

              went to get a ticket

              his wife said " Quick Pick it"

              now lots of new toys he enjoys

              Isabel, you are going to feel very silly when this turns out to be make-believe.

                justxploring's avatar - villiarna
                Wandering Aimlessly
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                Posted: December 30, 2006, 2:10 pm - IP Logged

                There once was a man from Nantuckett

                who bought a chance but his wife told him "chuck it".

                When his numbers came in he flashed a big grin

                and from her big ass he un-stuck it. 

                ROFL

                 

                Lots of good ones here!!  Coin Toss had another great idea again.  Illinois, toys, enjoys..great Bud. Dedicate that one to Rick or Coin Toss.

                  justxploring's avatar - villiarna
                  Wandering Aimlessly
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                  Posted: December 30, 2006, 2:21 pm - IP Logged

                  There once was a man from Kentucky,

                  Who worked hard, but never was lucky.

                  One day he bought six

                  Of the Lotto's QuickPicks

                  And today his life is just ducky!

                   

                  There once was a man from New York

                  Whose wife called him a lazy dork.

                  But then he won Lotto,

                  And she's changed her motto,

                  And serves him in bed with a fork.

                   

                  Sorry - I'll stop now.  Coin Toss discovered one of my compulsions. 

                    Litebets27's avatar - power
                    Maryland
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                    January 14, 2005
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                    Posted: December 30, 2006, 2:34 pm - IP Logged

                    There once was a man from Kentucky,

                    Who worked hard, but never was lucky.

                    One day he bought six

                    Of the Lotto's QuickPicks

                    And today his life is just ducky!

                     

                    There once was a man from New York

                    Whose wife called him a lazy dork.

                    But then he won Lotto,

                    And she's changed her motto,

                    And serves him in bed with a fork.

                     

                    Sorry - I'll stop now.  Coin Toss discovered one of my compulsions. 

                    There still is a man in New York

                    whose wife use to call him a Dork

                    But then he won Lotto

                    She formed a new motto

                    Spit the loot, leave the Dork in New York

                    Feeling,  PRICELESS!!!Banana

                    Come on Jackpot!!!

                      justxploring's avatar - villiarna
                      Wandering Aimlessly
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                      Posted: December 30, 2006, 2:45 pm - IP Logged

                      There still is a man in New York

                      whose wife use to call him a Dork

                      But then he won Lotto

                      She formed a new motto

                      Spit the loot, leave the Dork in New York

                      Yay!!  That's better.  Thumbs Up   (Now she can afford wine with a cork!) **

                       

                      ** personal joke with me. I always say if it has a cork in it, it's out of my price range. 

                        Rick G's avatar - avatar 1766.jpg
                        FEMA Region V Camp #21
                        United States
                        Member #520
                        July 27, 2002
                        5699 Posts
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                        Posted: December 30, 2006, 2:47 pm - IP Logged

                        There once was a man from Kentucky,

                        Who worked hard, but never was lucky.

                        One day he bought six

                        Of the Lotto's QuickPicks

                        And today his life is just ducky!

                         

                        There once was a man from New York

                        Whose wife called him a lazy dork.

                        But then he won Lotto,

                        And she's changed her motto,

                        And serves him in bed with a fork.

                         

                        Sorry - I'll stop now.  Coin Toss discovered one of my compulsions. 

                        This was a great thread by Coin Toss.  Lotto fun.

                        Nancy, don't stop now, you're just getting the party started! 

                        Posted 4/6:  IL Pick 3 midday and evening until they hit:  555, 347 (str8).


                          justxploring's avatar - villiarna
                          Wandering Aimlessly
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                          Posted: December 30, 2006, 3:26 pm - IP Logged

                          This was a great thread by Coin Toss.  Lotto fun.

                          Nancy, don't stop now, you're just getting the party started! 

                          Maybe one more? 

                           

                          Stella kept waiting in Westminster Abbey

                          But the fellas said Stella's too crabby.

                          She then won Euro Millions

                          And now even Prince Williams

                          Wants old Stella although she's quite flabby.

                            Litebets27's avatar - power
                            Maryland
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                            Member #10465
                            January 14, 2005
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                            Posted: December 30, 2006, 4:52 pm - IP Logged

                            Maybe one more? 

                             

                            Stella kept waiting in Westminster Abbey

                            But the fellas said Stella's too crabby.

                            She then won Euro Millions

                            And now even Prince Williams

                            Wants old Stella although she's quite flabby.

                            Good one justx. ! Thumbs Up

                             

                             

                            Maryland is part of MegaMillion

                            Although you'd never know it now, would'ya?

                            Week after week, the winnings are bleak

                            but we continue to contribute our bullion. Thud

                             

                            You have to do this one with an Irish accent!

                            Feeling,  PRICELESS!!!Banana

                            Come on Jackpot!!!

                              Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
                              Zeta Reticuli Star System
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                              Posted: December 30, 2006, 6:20 pm - IP Logged

                              On LP while most others slumber

                              we work night and day seeking right numbers

                              we'll try this and that

                              but so far 'tis all flat

                              but the jackpot will go to a 'stumbler'

                              Wink

                              (an error made in working a system, that will payoff) 

                              Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

                              Lep

                              There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.