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Lotto Jokes anyone?

Topic closed. 30 replies. Last post 6 years ago by TeAl*888.

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TeAl*888's avatar - octa feathers.jpg
Ontario
Canada
Member #97475
September 17, 2010
69 Posts
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Posted: October 26, 2010, 11:53 pm - IP Logged

Elephant Jokes..

 

Q: What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?

A: Sir.

 

Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and adress?

A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.

 

Q: Why do elephants drink so much?

A: To try to forget.

 

Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmellow?

A: So she wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.

 

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?

A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.

 

Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red on the outside?

A: An inside out elephant.

 

Q: What's grey and white on the inside and red and white onthe outside?

A: Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup.

 

Q: What is grey and not there.

A: No elephants.

 

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?

A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

 

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?

A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

 

Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?

A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue, and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

 

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?

A: Ever seen a yellow elephant?!!!

 

Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?

A: Have you ever tried to iron one?

 

Q: How does an elephant hide in the jungle?

A: He paints his balls red and sits in a cherry tree.

 

Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

A: A native eating cherries.

 

Q: How did Tarzan die?

A: Picking cherries.

 

Q: What's the fastest thing in the jungle?

A: A monkey carrying a bunch of cherries.

 

Q: How do you get an elephant out of a tree?

A: Stand it on a leaf and wait 'till autumn (or wait forparachute practice.)

 

Q: Why do elephants wear springs on their feet?

A: So they can jump up in trees and rape monkeys.

 

Q: What sound do monkeys hate most?

A: Booooiiiiiinnnngggg...Booooiiiiiinnnngggg...Booooiiiiiinnnngggg...

 

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.

 

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It was glued to the first one.

 

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It thought it was a game.

 

Q: And why did the tree fall down?

A: It thought it was an elephant.

 

Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?

A: Chicken's day off.

 

Q: What was the elephant doing on the motorway?

A: About 5 mph (8kph in the rest of the world)

 

Q: How do you know if you pass an elephant?

A: You can't get the toilet seat down.

 

Q: How do you get an elephant into a VW?

A: Open the car door, put the elephant inside, close the door.

 

Q: What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?

A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.

 

Q: How do you put an elephant into a fridge?

A: Open the VW door, take the elephant out, close the VW door, open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.

 

Q: How do you get 4 elephants into a Volkswagon bug?

A: 2 in the front and 2 in the back

 

Q: What did the fifth elephant in the VW bug discover?

A: The sun roof.

 

Q: The Lion (Animal king) gathered all the animals for a meeting, all of them showed up except the elephants. Why?

A: They were stuck in the VW bug.

 

Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a VW bug?

A: None, the elephants are in there!

 

 

Sorry about the lengthy Post

..and Elephants! Big Grin