Welcome Guest
Log In | Register )
You last visited December 3, 2016, 6:31 am
All times shown are
Eastern Time (GMT-5:00)

AceKicka'$ USA*CAN HitList 2/24-2/29

Topic closed. 123 replies. Last post 5 years ago by All*Star.

Page 8 of 9
55
PrintE-mailLink
AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
Triad, N Carolina
United States
Member #53117
June 24, 2007
6057 Posts
Offline
Posted: March 2, 2012, 12:07 am - IP Logged

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principals office. He was told to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his private parts hanging out.

"I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said.

"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out until lunchtime, she'd come and pick me up from school."

 Scared       ROFL       Dupe Alert   

"Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                          -- (AceKicka '07)

    AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
    Triad, N Carolina
    United States
    Member #53117
    June 24, 2007
    6057 Posts
    Offline
    Posted: March 2, 2012, 12:33 am - IP Logged

    AceKicka'$ USA*CAN HitList 2/24-2/29

    $$$          Cool             Thumbs Up            Cool         $$$

    123 - 647 - 071 - 296 - 789 - 782 - 804

    847 - 596 - 506 - 981 - 237 - 297 - 519

    971 - 673 - 567 - 219 - 477 - 622 - 455

    077 - 044 - 110 - 010 - 353 - 565 - 155

    $$$          Cool             Thumbs Up            Cool         $$$

     Party  Lep     AceKicka's avatar - Lottery 057     Lep     Party

     AceKicka Ink, klsenterprises2004 at yahoo~ "4 best viewing results..

              hit your PRINT button 2 see ALL hits on 1 continuous page!"

                      Copyright © 2007-2012   ALL rights reserved 

    "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                              -- (AceKicka '07)

      AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
      Triad, N Carolina
      United States
      Member #53117
      June 24, 2007
      6057 Posts
      Offline
      Posted: March 2, 2012, 12:55 am - IP Logged

      A priest, a math teacher, and a soldier all got on the plane. The math teacher took out his math book to plan his next lesson, and it fell out the window. The priest took out to bible to pray, and it fell out the window. The soldier took out a grenade in memory of his grandfather, and it fell out the window. They all got off the plane. The math teacher found a girl crying on the sidewalk. The math teacher asks, "Why are you crying?" The little girl says, "A math book fell from the sky and hit me on the head!" The math teacher walked away. The priest found a little boy crying on his lawn. The priest asked, "Why are you crying?" The little boy said, "A bible fell out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The priest walked away. The soldier found a boy on the street laughing his head off. The soldier asks, "Why are you laughing so hard?" The little boy said," I farted and that house blew up!"

        Agree with stupid     Green laugh

      "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                -- (AceKicka '07)

        AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
        Triad, N Carolina
        United States
        Member #53117
        June 24, 2007
        6057 Posts
        Offline
        Posted: March 2, 2012, 1:20 am - IP Logged

        2/29  New York,  midday  044 =->Str8!! 

              2 Str8s within 4 days ~ 353 ~ same row

                                             Party

        "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                  -- (AceKicka '07)

          AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
          Triad, N Carolina
          United States
          Member #53117
          June 24, 2007
          6057 Posts
          Offline
          Posted: March 2, 2012, 1:34 am - IP Logged

          Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, a man decided to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. He goes in the washroom. The first stall was taken so
          he went in the second stall. He had just sat down when he hears a voice from the next stall. "Hi there, how is it going?"

          Not exactly the type to strike conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. He didn't know what to say so finally he says, "Not bad..."

          Then the voice says, "So, what are you doing?"

          He was starting to find that a bit weird, but says, "Well, I'm going back to Colorado..."

          Then he hears the person say all flustered: "Look I'll call you back, every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me."

          Thud

          "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                    -- (AceKicka '07)

            AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
            Triad, N Carolina
            United States
            Member #53117
            June 24, 2007
            6057 Posts
            Offline
            Posted: March 2, 2012, 8:28 am - IP Logged

            2/29  Tennessee,  midday  278 -  boxed

                   Bk 2 bk midday hits ~ 231 ~ same row

             

            `

            "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                      -- (AceKicka '07)

              AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
              Triad, N Carolina
              United States
              Member #53117
              June 24, 2007
              6057 Posts
              Offline
              Posted: March 2, 2012, 9:36 am - IP Logged

              A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from their wild romp, they fell asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.

              "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.

              "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been fooling around all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

              The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying b*stard You've been playing golf!".

              Bed

              "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                        -- (AceKicka '07)

                AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
                Triad, N Carolina
                United States
                Member #53117
                June 24, 2007
                6057 Posts
                Offline
                Posted: March 2, 2012, 9:49 am - IP Logged

                A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened. The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don't know, it all happened so fast.”

                LOL     Jester Laugh     LOL

                "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                          -- (AceKicka '07)

                  AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
                  Triad, N Carolina
                  United States
                  Member #53117
                  June 24, 2007
                  6057 Posts
                  Offline
                  Posted: March 2, 2012, 10:11 am - IP Logged

                  2/29   Arkansas,  midday  159  -  boxed

                       

                   

                  `

                  "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                            -- (AceKicka '07)

                    AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
                    Triad, N Carolina
                    United States
                    Member #53117
                    June 24, 2007
                    6057 Posts
                    Offline
                    Posted: March 3, 2012, 1:31 pm - IP Logged

                    A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

                    Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

                    To: My loving wife

                    Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006

                    I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

                    P.S. Sure is hot down here!

                           Red Devil        Evil Looking

                    "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                              -- (AceKicka '07)

                      AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
                      Triad, N Carolina
                      United States
                      Member #53117
                      June 24, 2007
                      6057 Posts
                      Offline
                      Posted: March 3, 2012, 2:47 pm - IP Logged

                      2/29   California,  midday  560 -  boxed

                               3 midday hits in 4 days ~ 804 ~ 376

                       

                      `

                      "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                                -- (AceKicka '07)

                        AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
                        Triad, N Carolina
                        United States
                        Member #53117
                        June 24, 2007
                        6057 Posts
                        Offline
                        Posted: March 3, 2012, 6:09 pm - IP Logged

                        One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

                        Jack-in-the-Box    Cheers

                        "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                                  -- (AceKicka '07)

                          AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
                          Triad, N Carolina
                          United States
                          Member #53117
                          June 24, 2007
                          6057 Posts
                          Offline
                          Posted: March 3, 2012, 10:37 pm - IP Logged

                          2/29  N Carolina,  midday  765 -  boxed

                                 

                           

                          `

                          "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                                    -- (AceKicka '07)

                            AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
                            Triad, N Carolina
                            United States
                            Member #53117
                            June 24, 2007
                            6057 Posts
                            Offline
                            Posted: March 4, 2012, 12:40 pm - IP Logged

                            Ad seen in the New York Times:

                            FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.

                            Excellent condition.                      $1,000.00 or best offer.

                            No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Husband knows EVERYTHING.

                            Confused      Roll Eyes

                            "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                                      -- (AceKicka '07)

                              AceKicka's avatar - Lottery-057.jpg
                              Triad, N Carolina
                              United States
                              Member #53117
                              June 24, 2007
                              6057 Posts
                              Offline
                              Posted: March 4, 2012, 12:55 pm - IP Logged

                              2/29  Wash, D.C, evening  065 -  boxed

                                     3 hits in 4 days ~ [278 - 764 ~ s. row]

                               

                              `

                              "Game On.......'CAUSE ACE HAS YOUR NUMBER!!"

                                                                                                        -- (AceKicka '07)