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emilyg's Blog

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Socialism

"Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." --Sir Winston Churchill

Entry #648

Perception

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Entry #647

Be Kind

Treat yourself and others with kindness.

Entry #645

How the liberal press views things

Sarah  Palin is invited to meet with the Pope while he is vacationing south of Romen Venice.  The liberal press  reluctantly watches the semi-private audience, hoping they will be able  to allot minimal coverage, if  any.
 
The Pope asks Governor Palin  to join him on a Gondola ride through the canals of Venice.
 
They're admiring the sights  and agreeing on moral issues when, all of a sudden, the Pope's hat  (zucchetto) blows off his head and out into the  water.
 
The gondolier starts to  reach for the Pontiff's cap with his pole, but this move threatens to  overturn the floating  craft.
 
Sarah waves the tour guide  off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take care of this. Don't  worry."
 
She steps off the gondola  onto the surface of the water and walks out to the Pope's hat, bends  over and picks it up. She walks back across the water to the gondola and  steps  aboard.
 
She hands the hat to the  Pope amid stunned silence.
 
The next morning the topic  of conversation among Democrats in Congress, CBS News, NBC News, ABC  News, CNN, the New York Times, Hollywood celebrities, and in France and Germany is: "Palin Can't  Swim." 
 
 
 
 


Entry #644

Inner Dialogue

Recognize that what you think about, expands.  Monitor your inner dialogue, and match your thoughts to what you want, and what you intend to create.

 

dyer.

Entry #641

Condom Customer Complaints


A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their
seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and
asked, 'Are all of those kids yours?'

He replied, 'No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.'

Entry #639

Butt dust - LOL

What, you ask, is 'Butt dust?' Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY(age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

CLINTON(age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'
The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget.... this particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'
 
 

 

 
Entry #638

Alabama Invasion


All of the Wal-Marts across Alabama sold out of ammunition as of  yesterday.

A reliable source said that one of the purchasers commented that while
" Russia may have invaded Georgia , they sure as hell ain't doin' it to
Alabama ."

 

 
Entry #637

The Unforgettable Gift

The ultimate gift optimizes the receiver's needs with the giver's ability.

 

c.jones

Entry #636

On-Line Webs Pages - funny

All of these are legitimate companies that didn't spend quite enough time to consider how their online name might appear! Read them carefully.
 
 
 
These are not made up.
Check them out yourself!
 
1. 'Who Represents'is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their Web site is: www.whorepresents.com
 
 
2. 'Experts Exchange'is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at:
  www.expertsexchange.com
 
 
3. Looking for a great pen?
 Look no further than
  ' Pen Island '.It can be found at:
  www.penisland.net
 
 
 
4. Need a therapist? Try 'Therapist Finder'at: www.therapistfinder.com
 
 
5. Then there's the 'Italian Power Generator' company. Check it out at:
  www.powergenitalia.com
 
 
6.'IP computer'software, there's always:
  ww w.ip_anywhere.com 
 
 

  7. And the designers at 'Speed of Art'await you at their wacky Web site:
  www.speedofart.com
 
 
 
Have a fun day! Just be careful what you name YOUR new web site
 
 
 
 
 



 
Entry #635

Check Yourself First

The first enemy that has to be conquered is the one that lurks inside your mind.

 

c.jones

Entry #634
Page 108 of 151
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