ochoop17's Blog

Apr.9, 19--: British statesman _______________is proclaimed an honorary U.S. citizen by President John F. Kennedy.

A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, Morris had enough.
     
      "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
     
      "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."
     
      Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."

It lives without a body, hears without ears, speaks without a mouth, and is born in air. What is it?

Apr.6,1909: U.S. explorers__________and _____________and four ______becomes the first men to reach the North Pole.

I got in a fight with my wife last night and it was totally my fault.

She asked me what was on the TV and I said: dust.

Didn't go too well after that.

Is it physically possible for you to stand behind your mother, and for your mother to stand behind you at the same time?

Apr.3,1776: ___________ receives an honorary doctor of laws degree from ________College

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
8. Beer has never caused a major war.
7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
2. You can prove you have a Beer.
1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help.

What is harder to catch the faster you run?

Mar.31,1943:" Oklahoma !" the first musical play by __________and___________, opens on Broadway.

Teacher: Name 5 wild animals. Student: 3 bears and 2 tigers

Take away the whole and some still remains. What is it?

This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida) An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. Moral of the story? If you're going to have a senior moment...make it memorable

Mar.26, 19--: The ________ launches America  third successful satellite,________.

What falls but doesn’t break, and what breaks but doesn’t fall?