ochoop17's Blog

What kind of nut has a hole?

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

May 9,1814:The Jane ______ novel "Mansfield _____"is first published in London.

What English word has the letter "i" in it six times?

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon arrival the doctor said that he had invented a machine that would transfer a portion of the labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it. The doctor set the knob at 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to bump the machine up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20%. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At 50% the husband was still holding up fine, since this was obviously helping out his wife he encouraged the doctor to transfer all of the pain.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were absolutely thrilled. Everything was great until they got home and found the mailman dead on their porch.

May 6,1981:Yale architecture student __________ is named to design the Vietnam Veterans ________.

What word in the English language uses all five vowels plus Y in alphabetical order and uses each one only once?

An Irishman walks into a bar in Texas. He says, “I hear you Texans are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 beers back-to-back.”

The room is quiet. One man leaves. No one takes the Irishman up on his offer.

Thirty minutes later the man who left returns. He taps the Irishman on the shoulder. “Does your offer still stand?” he asks.

The Irishman says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 beers on the bar. Immediately the Texan begins. He doesn’t stop until he has drunk all ten beers back-to-back.

The others in the bar cheer as the Irishman sits in amazement. He gives the Texan the $500 and says, “If you don’t mind me asking, where did you go for that half hour?”

The Texan replies, “Oh… before I took your bet, I wanted to go to another bar down the street to be sure I could do it.”

May3, 19--: _____________ founds Dell Computer Corp. while a student at the University of _______in Austin.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A widow.

If you had five mango and two bananas in one hand and two mango and four bananas in the other hand.

what would you have?

Apr.30,18--: The United States purchases the ________ Territory from ________ for -- million francs, about $15 million.

Confucius says, "A constipated man does not give a crap."

The numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9 must be put in the square below, replacing the "x" in such a way that the sums of the numbers in each row, column, and diagonal are equal. How should the numbers be arranged in the square?

Apr.25, 19--: Delegates from some 50 countries meet in San Francisco to organize the ____________.