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December 8, 2008, 11:58 amFor Women Only
Subject: sexy santa
November 26, 2008, 8:03 pmHappy Thanksgiving!! :)
We thank Thee, heav'nly Father
We thank Thee, heav'nly Father,
For ev'ry earthly good,
For life, and health, and clothing,
And for our daily food.
O give us hearts to thank Thee,
For ev'ry blessing sent,
And whatsoe'er Thou sendest
Make us therewith content. Amen.
We thank Thee, heav'nly Father
October 24, 2008, 4:32 pmHappy Halloween
You use your space barto bowl.
October 20, 2008, 9:56 amTic Tac Toe
Subject: tic tac toe
Click on the TicTacToe (below) to play.
This is a challenge, see if you are
smart enough to beat the computer....enjoy!
September 14, 2008, 8:17 pmIt's Time for Some Campaign'in
September 11, 2008, 6:46 pmFree Gas Coupon
Not much but it’s something and I don’t even use Chevron. I printed mine out already!
September 10, 2008, 8:59 amCoffee Machine
1. CLICK ON THE LINK (COFFEE MACHINE BELOW)
2. PUT THE COIN IN THE VENDING MACHINE
3. CHOOSE YOUR DRINK
4. CLICK ON THE CUP WHEN IT IS READY
5 CLICK ON 'OPEN'
Don't forget to click on 'OPEN' !!! Enjoy!
August 14, 2008, 9:32 amDid Anyone Ever Tell You!!
August 13, 2008, 8:24 amLas Vegas Churches
Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips
THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE
TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN
LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES
NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME
WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.
SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM
MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.. ...
THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS
ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN.
THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS .
YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU ?
August 11, 2008, 1:58 pmInner Peace
Subject: Calmness in our lives
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives.
By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, 'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished'
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how freakin' good I feel right now.
Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.
August 6, 2008, 12:27 pmFBI Job Opening
FBI Job Opening
The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background
checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two
men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men
to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will
follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill
her!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your
wife and go home." The second man was given the same instructions. He
took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears i n his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions,
to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots
were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging
on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened
slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "This
gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with
Women are crazy. Don't mess with them
August 2, 2008, 9:20 amGitcha Momma
A redneck family from the back hills was visiting the big city
and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives.
The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by
two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back
The boy asked, 'Paw, what's at?'
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I dunno.
I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r
what it is.
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old
lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular
number above the walls light up sequentially
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the
numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old
blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son,
'Boy.................go gitcha momma
July 31, 2008, 11:00 pmRetirement
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop.
We were only in there for about 5 minutes.
When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and I said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.
I called him a dumb ass.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.
So Mary called him a <snip>head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Just then our bus arrived.
~*~ We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age! ~*~
July 25, 2008, 8:41 amAn Old Man, a Boy & a Donkey!!
July 22, 2008, 8:27 pmHouse Fires - Please read
House fires--please read!
Received from a friend who is in the insurance property business. It is
well worth reading.
The original message was written by a lady whose brother and wife learned a hard lesson this past week.
Their house burnt down.. nothing left but ashes. They have good insurance so the house will be replaced and most of the contents. That is the good news.
However, they were sick when they found out the cause of the fire. The insurance investigator sifted through the ashes for several hours. He had the cause of the fire traced to the master bathroom. He asked her sister-in-law what she had plugged in the bathroom. She listed the normal things....curling iron, blow dryer. He kept saying to her, 'No, this would be something that would disintegrate at high temperatures'. Then her sister-in-law remembered she had a Glade Plug-In, in the bathroom.
The investigator had one of those 'Aha' moments. He said that was the cause of the fire. He said he has seen more house fires started with the plug-in type room fresheners than anything else. He said the
plastic they are made from is THIN. He also said that in every case there was nothing left to prove that it even existed. When the investigator looked in the wall plug, the two prongs left from the plug-in were still in there.
Her sister-in-law had one of the plug-ins that had a small night light built in it. She said she had noticed that the light would dim and then finally go out. She would walk in to the bathroom a few hours later,
and the light would be back on again. The investigator said that the unit was getting too hot, and would dim and go out rather than just blow the light bulb. Once it cooled down it would come back on. That is a warning sign.
The investigator said he personally wouldn't have any type of plug in fragrance device anywhere in his house. He has seen too many places that have been burned down due to them.
PLEASE PASS THIS INFORMATION ON.
NOT ONLY COULD IT SAVE SOMEONE'S HOUSE,
BUT IT COULD SAVE SOMEONE'S LIFE