CARBOB's Blog

and my favorite

Putin's Speech on Feb. 04, 2013

This is one time our elected leaders should pay attention to the advice of Vladimir Putin....how scary is that?

On February 4th, 2013, Vladimir Putin, the Russian president, addressed the Duma, (Russian Parliament), and gave a speech about the tensions with minorities in Russia :

"In Russia live Russians.    Any minority, from anywhere, if it wants to live in Russia, to work and eat in Russia, should speak Russian, and should respect the Russian laws. If they prefer Sharia Law, then we advise them to go to those places where that's the state law. Russia does not need minorities. Minorities need Russia, and we will not grant them special privileges, or try to change our laws to fit their desires, no matter how loud they yell 'discrimination'. We better learn from the suicides of America, England, Holland and France, if we are to survive as a nation. The Russian customs and traditions are not compatible with the lack of culture or the primitive ways of most minorities. When this honorable legislative body thinks of creating new laws, it should have in mind the national interest first, observing that the minorities are not Russians.

The politicians in the Duma gave Putin a five minute standing ovation.

*The year was 1947. Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947,  a little more than 65 years       ago, numerous witnesses claim that an Unidentified Flying Object, (UFO), with five aliens aboard, crashed onto a sheep and mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico

Got this from a friend. 

I will apply for a patent, so I can get royalities!!!

In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has    introduced a new flavor: Barocky Road,Barocky Roadis a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes. The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all plentiful.
The cost is $92.84 per scoop...so, out of a $100 bill, you are          least promised some CHANGE. When purchased, it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but after you pay for it, the ice cream is taken out of the cone and given to the person in line behind you at no Charge. You are left with an almost-empty wallet, staring at an empty cone and wondering what just happened. Then you realize this is what "redistribution of wealth" is all about. Aren't you just stimulated?

https://blogs.lotterypost.com/emilyg/2013/7/never-stand-in-line-again.htm

The link above is a post by Ms Em. I wish it could go viral on LP.

                     Get In Line!!!!

Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking.

Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked             me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Edna:  "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 PM, dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs. And what's there; a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner; a marvelous dinner, lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you Dorothy, enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his  way with me three times!"

Where are all the demonstraters? Why isn't there news coverage and demonstations about this, instead of a 17-year old drug user and dealer?

Hello.  Don’t recognize me? That’s OK; I understand.

My  name was Antonio West. I was the 13-month old child who was shot in the face at  point blank range by two black teens, who were attempting to rob my mother, who  was also shot.

I  think my murder and my mommy’s wounding made the news for maybe a day, and then  disappeared.

A  Grand Jury of my mommy's peers from Brunswick , Georgia ruled the black teens who  murdered me will not face the death penalty... too bad it was me who got the  death sentence from my killers instead, because Mommy didn’t have the money they  demanded.

See,  my family made the mistake of being white in a 73% non-white neighborhood, but  my murder wasn’t ruled a ‘hate crime’.

Oh,  and President Obama didn’t take a single moment to acknowledge my murder. He  couldn’t have any children who could possibly look like me - so why should he  care?

I’m one of the youngest murder victims in our great Nation's  history, but the media didn’t care to cover the story of my being killed in cold  blood.

There isn’t a white equivalent of Al Sharpton, because if there  was he would be branded a ‘racist’. So no one’s rushing to Brunswick , Georgia to demonstrate and demand  ‘justice’ for me. There’s no ‘White Panther’ party, either, to put a bounty on  the lives of the two black teens who murdered me.

I  have no voice, I have no representation, and unlike those who shot me in the  face while I sat innocently in my stroller - I no longer have my life. 

Isn’t  this a great country?

So while you’re out seeking ‘justice for Trayvon’,  please remember to seek ‘justice’ for me. Tell your friends about me, tell you  families, get tee-shirts with my face on them, and make the world pay attention,  just like you did for Trayvon.

I won’t hold my  breath.

SEX AT       79
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that I can have sex at 79.
I'm so happy, because I live at number 71.
So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.
And it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have to cross the road!
~~~~~
Answering       machine message:
"I am not available right now,
but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call,
you are one of the changes."
~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~
My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use       mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your     glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can give without remembering       
and take without forgetting. 
~~~~~
The irony of life is that,
by the time you're old enough to know your way around,       
you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer for her first question.       
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders,
but it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With       hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,       
severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another,       
and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,
are we sure       this is a good time to take God out of the
Pledge of       Allegiance?" 

Back on January 9th, a group of Pekin, Illinois bikers were riding west on I-74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Murray Baker Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey!  That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

At any given             moment:
 
FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right             now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old person is reading  blogs.
 
You hang in there,             sunshine!

An email I received from a friend.

Not only a Germans view, but a lot of other nationalities, including American citizens for many other nations.  What I don't understand is why our leaders up on the hill don't look at things this way. 

A German's View on Islam - worth reading. This is by far the best explanation of the Muslim terrorist situation I have ever read. His references to past history are accurate and clear. Not long, easy to understand, and well worth the read. The author of this email is Dr. Emanuel Tanya, a well-known and well-respected psychiatrist. A man, whose family was German aristocracy prior to World War II, owned a number of large industries and estates. When asked how many German people were true Nazis, the answer he gave can guide our attitude toward fanaticism.

'Very few people were true Nazis,' he said, 'but many enjoyed the return of German pride, and many more were too busy to care. I was one of those who just thought the Nazis were a bunch of fools. So, the majority just sat back and let it all happen. Then, before we knew it, they owned us, and we had lost control, and the end of the world had come. My family lost everything. I ended up in a concentration camp and the Allies destroyed my factories.'

We are told again and again by 'experts' and 'talking heads' that Islam is the religion of peace and that the vast majority of Muslims just want to live in peace. Although this unqualified assertion may be true, it is entirely irrelevant. It is meaningless fluff, meant to make us feel better, and meant to somehow diminish the specter of fanatics rampaging across the globe in the name of Islam.

The fact is that the fanatics rule Islam at this moment in history. It is the fanatics who march It is the fanatics who wage any one of 50 shooting wars worldwide. It is the fanatics who systematically slaughter Christian or tribal groups throughout Africa and are gradually taking over the entire continent in an Islamic wave. It is the fanatics who bomb, behead, murder, or honor-kill. It is the fanatics who take over mosque after mosque. It is the fanatics who zealously spread the stoning and hanging of rape victims and homosexuals. It is the fanatics who teach their young to kill and to become suicide bombers.

The hard, quantifiable fact is that the peaceful majority, the 'silent majority,' is cowed and extraneous. Communist Russia was comprised of Russians who just wanted to live in peace, yet the Russian Communists were responsible for the murder of about 20 million people. The peaceful majority were irrelevant.. China 's huge population was peaceful as well, but Chinese Communists managed to kill a staggering 70 million people.

The average Japanese individual prior to World War II was not a warmongering sadist. Yet, Japan murdered and slaughtered its way across South East Asia in an orgy of killing that included the systematic murder of 12 million Chinese civilians; most killed by sword, shovel, and bayonet.

And who can forget Rwanda, which collapsed into butchery. Could it not be said that the majority of Rwandans were 'peace loving'?

History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt, yet for all our powers of reason, we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of points: Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence. Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don't speak up, because like my friend from Germany , they will awaken one day and find that the fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun..

Peace-loving Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Rwandans, Serbs, Afghans, Iraqis, Palestinians, Somalis, Nigerians, Algerians, and many others have died because the peaceful majority did not speak up until it was too late. As for us who watch it all unfold, we must pay attention to the only group that counts--the fanatics who threaten our way of life.

Lastly, anyone who doubts that the issue is serious and just deletes this email without sending it on, is contributing to the passiveness that allows the problems to expand. So, extend yourself a bit and send this on and on and on! Let us hope that thousands, world-wide, read this and think about it, and send it on - before it's too late.

Now Islamic prayers have been introduced into Toronto and other public schools in Ontario, and, yes, in Ottawa too while the Lord's Prayer was removed (due to being so offensive?). The Islamic way may be peaceful for the time being in our country until the fanatics move in. And we are silent.......

You  are not  READY for this.  Who Knew?

If you are catholic, don't be offended!!

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together but then I stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box and, according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

Lemon Squeeze

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'

The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'

The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'

The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'

The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'

The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'

Catholic Dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be sayin' a mass for the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not, we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away, Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya' tell me the dog was Catholic?

Donation

Father O'Malley answers the phone and hears. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is the IRS. Can you help us?' 'I can!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?' 'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?' 'He is!'

'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?' 'He will.'

Confession

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Yesterday I picked up two college girls hitch-hiking. We went to a motel where I had sex with each of them three times.'

Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?' Man: 'What sins?'

Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?' Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?' Man: 'I'm 92 years old . . . . I'm telling everybody!'

Brothel Trip

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

'I'm 90 years old,' he says. '90?' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?' 'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?'

Senility

An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately I have forgotten to zip up.' 'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'

Pest Control

A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and, after a search of the bedroom, discovered the man in the closet. 'Who are you?' he asked him.

'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator. 'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.

'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.

'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little <snip>s! '

Marriage Humor

Wife: 'What are you doing?' Husband: Nothing.

Wife: 'Nothing . . . ? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'

Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'

Hungry?

Wife : 'Do you want dinner?' Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?' Wife: 'Yes or no.'

Stress Reliever

Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'

Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'

Girl: 'Well, that's because we aren't married yet.'

------------------------------ Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'

Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'

Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'

________________________________

A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'

'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

------------------------------------------------------------

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'

Husbands are husbands

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' the man asked. The wife replied, 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket'. The man then said, 'When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on.' The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining consciousness, the man asked why she had hit again. Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'