I posted the following a few minutes ago in another thread, but I think it's appropriate here as well:
Some of you know that I occasionally play high-stakes poker. I only do it occasionally because sometimes I lose. When that happens, I'm forced to borrow money from other players. They're all more than willing to trust me with their money, however, because they know I'll pay it back They don't have to try to find me; I look them up when I get my bankroll together. If I didn't do this, I wouldn't be able to play anymore, because word of bad debts spreads very quickly throughout the poker community, and no one would be willing to stake me until I had paid back the original loan. Even then, I wouldn't be able to get more than a few hundred bucks due to my slow-paying reputation.
Gamblers are known for their honesty, at least they are where I play. For example: several years ago I went to Las Vegas to play in a member's tournament at Harrah's. I was knocked out on the third hand of the fifth round (I moved all-in with kings, and the guy who called me with 10h Jh made his flush on the turn). No biggie; it happens all the time. It's the nature of the game.
Anyway, there I was with another day and a half to kill before catching my flight home. I went back to my room for a while, and then decided to go downstairs to see if I could find a nice little 20/40 cash game. As I was walking through the slot machines, I ran into a friend of mine, Deb, who was frantically shoving money into her machine. I gave her a nudge, and asked if she was a millionaire yet. When she turned toward me, her face was ashen, and she expressed no surprise to see me there - she just looked at me, shook her head and turned her attention back to the spinning reels.
I asked her if she was losing, and the look she gave me said, "What do you think, Genius?" Determined to see if she could still speak, I asked how much she had in that ten-dollar-a-roll slot machine. Without looking up, she said, "Oh, I'd say it's around two thousand dollars ..." Deb isn't stupid, so I was a little annoyed to learn that she would allow herself to get that far in on one machine. The conversation began to loosen up, and she told me that she had less than five hundred dollars left, and she still had to pay for her room at another hotel. I wished her luck and went to sign up for my seat at the poker table. I played for a couple hours, and finally decided it just wasn't my day; I lost $1,000 and figured I'd had enough.
I headed for the restaurant, which is located near several banks of slots. I looked to see if Deb was still playing, but she was just sitting there on her stool, staring into space. I knew I should just keep walking, but she's my friend, so I asked if she was okay. She tried to tell me how much she had lost, but she couldn't get the words out. Every time she began to speak, she would choke back her tears, determined not to cry. I put my hand on her shoulder and asked if she needed to borrow some money. She buried her face in her hands, nodded her head and began to sob uncontrollably.
There is nothing on this planet that makes me more uncomfortable than seeing a woman cry, so I rushed (ran) to the cashier and cashed a check for $3,000, which, at the time, was my limit at Harrah's. Hoping to give her enough time to compose herself, I walked slowly back to the slots. Deb had stopped crying, but when I handed her $2,500, she threw her arms around my neck and started up again. When I finally managed to extricate myself, she thanked me over and over, swearing she would pay me back.
I decided to fly home that night. I didn't want to stay and be tempted to lose more money, so I had supper at the hotel and caught the 8:15 home. I resisted the impulse to check on my friend; I just didn't have any more money to loan her if things had gone south.
There I was, two days later, sitting in my recliner reading my USA Today, when the phone rang. Deb was on the other end, and asked if I could meet her for coffee. She sounded happy enough, so I agreed. When I arrived, Deb was sitting in the booth, and she had already ordered coffee for both of us. I slid into the seat opposite her and asked, "So, how'd you do?" She said, "I did okay; I got my money back, and most of yours, too." She gave me an envelope with two grand in it, and promised to pay the rest as soon as she could.
A few weeks later, she gave me another five hundred dollars, so I was content. I had all the money I had loaned her, so I considered the matter closed and went on with what I call my life.
Another two weeks went by, and I received a check in the mail for $500. It was from Deb. I called her and asked why she had sent this money, explaining that she had already paid me. She had actually forgotten that she had given me five hundred dollars in cash just two weeks before (I neglected to mention that my friend Deb is a natural blond). "Oh, my God!" she exclaimed, "I totally forgot about that!" She was playing a Cherry Master at the local American Legion when she gave me the money, so I can understand how she would have been distracted.
Now, here's the part that puts my friends in a class by themselves: Deb told me to cash the check, as she had intended to pay interest on the money I had loaned her. I explained that I hadn't intended to charge her any interest, as I am not a bank, but she insisted I keep the money. She told me, "Our friendship has nothing to do with our bank accounts; we're friends because we like each other and we get along. Borrowing money is an obligation, whether we borrow it from friends or strangers at a bank. If I borrow the bank's money, I have to pay it back, and I pay interest on that loan. If I borrow money from a friend, it's up to me to make sure that it doesn't affect our friendship."
I'm not rich, so I can always use some extra money, but that gesture was worth far more than five hundred bucks, so I tore up Deb's check (Yes - I really did), and nearly broke my arm trying to pat myself on the back - Yay me!
Deb and I are still friends, and she hasn't asked to borrow any more money from me. If she ever does, though, I'll be happy to help her, not because I know she'll pay me, but because she has a moral sense of responsibility, a quality which, apparently, is lacking in some of us here on the forum.
Personally, I was very, very disappointed to learn of this little spat between Tenaj and Laverne; I truly believed we were all above that type of behavior. To borrow money from another member and then refuse to pay it back is inexcusable. To boast of subsequent successes while still refusing to meet your current obligation is nothing short of reprehensible. Even if you're unable to satisfy the debt in its entirety, a simple effort on your part, just a partial payment, would have gone a long way to illustrate your intention to repay your benefactor, whose help was instrumental in your ultimate success.
Karmic consequences notwithstanding, Ms. Maloney has lost more than a friend; she has lost the respect of her fellows, and no amount of money is worth that. Money will come and go throughout our lives, but true friends, friends whom you can count on when you're in trouble, cannot be replaced. No part of this conflict can be laid at Tenaj's door; she did what she believed was the right thing to do, and now she's being punished for having a kind and empathetic heart. This is so hopelessly wrong, I can't begin to describe my own frustration with members who have had the audacity to say that Tenaj was stupid for loaning the money in the first place, and that she got what she deserved (oh, I could describe it, but I'm running out of room)!
What Tenaj deserves is to get her money back from the person she loaned it to in good faith. She also deserves our respect for putting herself in someone else's shoes, and for having enough faith in her friend to believe that she would not be put to financial hardship before the loan was repaid. It takes a lot of courage to loan someone, even a friend, a thousand dollars or more with no paperwork involved. Doing so demonstrates that you care for your friend more than you care about the money, which is not to suggest that you don't care about the money. It also demonstrates your belief that your friend cares about you as well, and that she'll keep her promise to repay her debt.
I sincerely hope you both get what you have coming to you ...