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Would you loan money to someone to gamble

Topic closed. 56 replies. Last post 10 years ago by sirbrad.

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Would you Loan money to someone to gamble with?

Yes [ 3 ]  [4.17%]
NO [ 53 ]  [73.61%]
Yes, and it's between me and them [ 6 ]  [8.33%]
Never a borrower or Lender be [ 3 ]  [4.17%]
Yes, and they didn't pay it back [ 1 ]  [1.39%]
Yes, they had a sob story [ 1 ]  [1.39%]
Yes and they paid it back [ 5 ]  [6.94%]
Total Valid Votes [ 72 ]  
Discarded Votes [ 4 ]  
floridian's avatar - DiscoBallGlowing

United States
Member #45802
August 28, 2006
335 Posts
Offline
Posted: November 25, 2006, 6:50 pm - IP Logged


I am the BORROWER

And here is what I say

You were my friend or you wouldn't have loaned it to me

I am still your friend---until you decide to make the money more important----

If my friendship is/was not worth the $450 (in your case)

then I have not contributed enough to the relationship to set the value above that amount...

I will probably never pay it back---unless one event happens---

I will pay when I get a nice"HIT" which may never come--

but if it does-----you won't get your part if you're not around or near me for me to share it.

I am a gambler and you knew it........you did in fact jeopardize the relationship when you loaned me the money-----BUT whether a gambler or not-----the relationship was at risk the minute you loaned the money-----Money is loaned, and relationships are lost every day.

Your only protection was to loan money without expectation of its return---keep the friend----if he's not worth the total loss of the money---he isn't that good a friend---and DON'T make the loan.

Gamblers are mostly perpetuel borrowers---and who else can they borrow from other than friends and family? 

I have even given myself a nickname:

"If I know ya, I owe ya!"

I guess I am just a better borrower than I am a Gambler

 

You can maintain the "You owe me money" relationship without ever losing the one's you want to keep.....If they continue to expect ongoing loans just remember that you have reached the "comfort-zone" where you have every right to refuse, and they simply will not expect you to loan them any more.

 

Maybe the borrower/gambler has burned your valuable relationship too by taking your $450---when at sometime in the future he will have a desperate need for thousands---and where you may have easily given it...

 If you're a friend --stay close---I have more to offer than the money---AFTER ALL--I will always OWE you----Money---and favors and whatever.....I'll always be obligated---as long as you don't "ride" me about it......

Money is the easiest part of any relationship to replace 

I hope you got a little insight into the borrowers side.......I found it somewhat theraputic to express my own point of view...pardon me if I made it even more unpleasant.

 

Bill 

You can"t be serious!!  Is this a joke or are you taking a real position?  If you are attempting to take a real position, then that  is the biggest bunch of bs I have ever read.  Trying to justify stealing from a friend, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

I have been around the horn a bunch of times and at my age it is still amazing what is presented as fact these days.

I am well aware of gamblers and their needs, I wure one.  Many times my buddies would do anything to prolong attempts to hit just one more time.  It does not matter who you are, friend, family, a person who would listen to a hard luck story, you are the MARK, plain and simple.  When a gambler needs money nothing is sacred.  A friend, what is that, can I lighten your pocketbook that is what I want to know.

You are trying to bs a bs'er.  Those people knew exactly what they were doing.  Okay so I might be telling on myself, so what.  You are not giving any insight into the borrower's side because he has no side, just a need.

Now if you want to talk about integrity and fairness that is a different story.

There is one thing that may be foreign to you,  a professional gambler always, always pays his debts.  It is not open to negotiation, he always pays his debts.  I had to learn that lesson the hard way.  However, I only had to learn it once.

So don't espose a grandiose position for the gambler/borrower who doesn't pay what he owes.  Man!! he is a bottom feeder or better put he is whale s$%t on the bottom of the ocean.

I am sure you only presented this position thinking it was the other side of the story and might be a neat thing to do.  Boy!!, if you were serious you are definately out of touch with reality. 

Floridian

    Lkydeb*594's avatar - yummyxmascat
    Luv Vtracs 8-)

    United States
    Member #38062
    April 23, 2006
    12576 Posts
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    Posted: November 25, 2006, 8:28 pm - IP Logged

    Weather a loan is to a friend or a member of your family, any agreement should be in writing. forms of promissory notes( also known as IOUs), which are often available in stationary stores, can be used for this purpose. What should be included in the agreement? At a minimum, it should specify the amount of the loan, it's terms and the interest rate, if any.

              $500                                     Dated:______________

                          PROMISSORY NOTE
     

    FOR VALUE RECEIVED, I_________________________________

    (Borrower) promise to pay to the order of ______________ the sum of five hundred ($500), payable commencing on _____________,20__, and each succeeding month thereafter for _____ months in equal monthly installments till paid in full, $500.  

                                ___________________(borrower)

    this keeps a strain off a friend or family member & it does hold in court. 

        The signature of the borrower is essential to making the promisary note legally enforceable.  The main purpose of a written agreement is not to frighten your friend or relative into thinking you'll haul him off to court, but to emphasize that borrowing money is a serious business. 

     

      Lottery Queen's avatar - Animation2
      Watch Blinking #
      United States
      Member #34411
      March 3, 2006
      11693 Posts
      Online
      Posted: November 25, 2006, 8:46 pm - IP Logged

      Weather a loan is to a friend or a member of your family, any agreement should be in writing. forms of promissory notes( also known as IOUs), which are often available in stationary stores, can be used for this purpose. What should be included in the agreement? At a minimum, it should specify the amount of the loan, it's terms and the interest rate, if any.

                $500                                     Dated:______________

                            PROMISSORY NOTE
       

      FOR VALUE RECEIVED, I_________________________________

      (Borrower) promise to pay to the order of ______________ the sum of five hundred ($500), payable commencing on _____________,20__, and each succeeding month thereafter for _____ months in equal monthly installments till paid in full, $500.  

                                  ___________________(borrower)

      this keeps a strain off a friend or family member & it does hold in court. 

          The signature of the borrower is essential to making the promisary note legally enforceable.  The main purpose of a written agreement is not to frighten your friend or relative into thinking you'll haul him off to court, but to emphasize that borrowing money is a serious business. 

      Thanks for sharing this sis :-)

      It's Not How Many Numbers You Post, But If You Can  Post The Right One's To Fall!

        Rick G's avatar - avatar 1766.jpg
        FEMA Region V Camp #21
        United States
        Member #520
        July 27, 2002
        5699 Posts
        Offline
        Posted: November 25, 2006, 8:51 pm - IP Logged

        You can"t be serious!!  Is this a joke or are you taking a real position?  If you are attempting to take a real position, then that  is the biggest bunch of bs I have ever read.  Trying to justify stealing from a friend, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

        I have been around the horn a bunch of times and at my age it is still amazing what is presented as fact these days.

        I am well aware of gamblers and their needs, I wure one.  Many times my buddies would do anything to prolong attempts to hit just one more time.  It does not matter who you are, friend, family, a person who would listen to a hard luck story, you are the MARK, plain and simple.  When a gambler needs money nothing is sacred.  A friend, what is that, can I lighten your pocketbook that is what I want to know.

        You are trying to bs a bs'er.  Those people knew exactly what they were doing.  Okay so I might be telling on myself, so what.  You are not giving any insight into the borrower's side because he has no side, just a need.

        Now if you want to talk about integrity and fairness that is a different story.

        There is one thing that may be foreign to you,  a professional gambler always, always pays his debts.  It is not open to negotiation, he always pays his debts.  I had to learn that lesson the hard way.  However, I only had to learn it once.

        So don't espose a grandiose position for the gambler/borrower who doesn't pay what he owes.  Man!! he is a bottom feeder or better put he is whale s$%t on the bottom of the ocean.

        I am sure you only presented this position thinking it was the other side of the story and might be a neat thing to do.  Boy!!, if you were serious you are definately out of touch with reality. 

        Floridian

        I agree with floridian 100%.  If you can't afford to gamble you shouldn't gamble.  There are no excuses or justifications in the world that can change that axiom.  If you borrow from a professional for gambling purposes you will get your legs broken if you don't pay it back.  If you borrow from friends or family and don't pay them back, they won't break your legs, but they'll never talk to you or trust you again.

        What is the confusion here?  If you pay it back promptly without "issues" you've established credit.  If you decide to not honor the obligation then YOU will have issues.  Pretty damn simple.

        Posted 4/6:  IL Pick 3 midday and evening until they hit:  555, 347 (str8).


          Avatar
          Columbia City, Indiana
          United States
          Member #2978
          December 9, 2003
          381 Posts
          Offline
          Posted: November 25, 2006, 9:01 pm - IP Logged

          I posted the following a few minutes ago in another thread, but I think it's appropriate here as well:

          Some of you know that I occasionally play high-stakes poker. I only do it occasionally because sometimes I lose. When that happens, I'm forced to borrow money from other players. They're all more than willing to trust me with their money, however, because they know I'll pay it back They don't have to try to find me; I look them up when I get my bankroll together. If I didn't do this, I wouldn't be able to play anymore, because word of bad debts spreads very quickly throughout the poker community, and no one would be willing to stake me until I had paid back the original loan. Even then, I wouldn't be able to get more than a few hundred bucks due to my slow-paying reputation. 

          Gamblers are known for their honesty, at least they are where I play. For example: several years ago I went to Las Vegas to play in a member's tournament at Harrah's. I was knocked out on the third hand of the fifth round (I moved all-in with kings, and the guy who called me with 10h Jh made his flush on the turn). No biggie; it happens all the time. It's the nature of the game.

          Anyway, there I was with another day and a half to kill before catching my flight home. I went back to my room for a while, and then decided to go downstairs to see if I could find a nice little 20/40 cash game. As I was walking through the slot machines, I ran into a friend of mine, Deb, who was frantically shoving money into her machine. I gave her a nudge, and asked if she was a millionaire yet. When she turned toward me, her face was ashen, and she expressed no surprise to see me there - she just looked at me, shook her head and turned her attention back to the spinning reels.

          I asked her if she was losing, and the look she gave me said, "What do you think, Genius?" Determined to see if she could still speak, I asked how much she had in that ten-dollar-a-roll slot machine. Without looking up, she said, "Oh, I'd say it's around two thousand dollars ..." Deb isn't stupid, so I was a little annoyed to learn that she would allow herself to get that far in on one machine. The conversation began to loosen up, and she told me that she had less than five hundred dollars left, and she still had to pay for her room at another hotel. I wished her luck and went to sign up for my seat at the poker table. I played for a couple hours, and finally decided it just wasn't my day; I lost $1,000 and figured I'd had enough.

          I headed for the restaurant, which is located near several banks of slots. I looked to see if Deb was still playing, but she was just sitting there on her stool, staring into space. I knew I should just keep walking, but she's my friend, so I asked if she was okay. She tried to tell me how much she had lost, but she couldn't get the words out. Every time she began to speak, she would choke back her tears, determined not to cry. I put my hand on her shoulder and asked if she needed to borrow some money. She buried her face in her hands, nodded her head and began to sob uncontrollably.

          There is nothing on this planet that makes me more uncomfortable than seeing a woman cry, so I rushed (ran) to the cashier and cashed a check for $3,000, which, at the time, was my limit at Harrah's. Hoping to give her enough time to compose herself, I walked slowly back to the slots. Deb had stopped crying, but when I handed her $2,500, she threw her arms around my neck and started up again. When I finally managed to extricate myself, she thanked me over and over, swearing she would pay me back.

          I decided to fly home that night. I didn't want to stay and be tempted to lose more money, so I had supper at the hotel and caught the 8:15 home. I resisted the impulse to check on my friend; I just didn't have any more money to loan her if things had gone south.

          There I was, two days later, sitting in my recliner reading my USA Today, when the phone rang. Deb was on the other end, and asked if I could meet her for coffee. She sounded happy enough, so I agreed. When I arrived, Deb was sitting in the booth, and she had already ordered coffee for both of us. I slid into the seat opposite her and asked, "So, how'd you do?" She said, "I did okay; I got my money back, and most of yours, too." She gave me an envelope with two grand in it, and promised to pay the rest as soon as she could.

          A few weeks later, she gave me another five hundred dollars, so I was content. I had all the money I had loaned her, so I considered the matter closed and went on with what I call my life.

          Another two weeks went by, and I received a check in the mail for $500. It was from Deb. I called her and asked why she had sent this money, explaining that she had already paid me. She had actually forgotten that she had given me five hundred dollars in cash just two weeks before (I neglected to mention that my friend Deb is a natural blond). "Oh, my God!" she exclaimed, "I totally forgot about that!" She was playing a Cherry Master at the local American Legion when she gave me the money, so I can understand how she would have been distracted.

          Now, here's the part that puts my friends in a class by themselves: Deb told me to cash the check, as she had intended to pay interest on the money I had loaned her. I explained that I hadn't intended to charge her any interest, as I am not a bank, but she insisted I keep the money. She told me, "Our friendship has nothing to do with our bank accounts; we're friends because we like each other and we get along. Borrowing money is an obligation, whether we borrow it from friends or strangers at a bank. If I borrow the bank's money, I have to pay it back, and I pay interest on that loan. If I borrow money from a friend, it's up to me to make sure that it doesn't affect our friendship."

          I'm not rich, so I can always use some extra money, but that gesture was worth far more than five hundred bucks, so I tore up Deb's check (Yes - I really did), and nearly broke my arm trying to pat myself on the back - Yay me!

          Deb and I are still friends, and she hasn't asked to borrow any more money from me. If she ever does, though, I'll be happy to help her, not because I know she'll pay me, but because she has a moral sense of responsibility, a quality which, apparently, is lacking in some of us here on the forum.

          Personally, I was very, very disappointed to learn of this little spat between Tenaj and Laverne; I truly believed we were all above that type of behavior. To borrow money from another member and then refuse to pay it back is inexcusable. To boast of subsequent successes while still refusing to meet your current obligation is nothing short of reprehensible. Even if you're unable to satisfy the debt in its entirety, a simple effort on your part, just a partial payment, would have gone a long way to illustrate your intention to repay your benefactor, whose help was instrumental in your ultimate success.

          Karmic consequences notwithstanding, Ms. Maloney has lost more than a friend; she has lost the respect of her fellows, and no amount of money is worth that. Money will come and go throughout our lives, but true friends, friends whom you can count on when you're in trouble, cannot be replaced. No part of this conflict can be laid at Tenaj's door; she did what she believed was the right thing to do, and now she's being punished for having a kind and empathetic heart. This is so hopelessly wrong, I can't begin to describe my own frustration with members who have had the audacity to say that Tenaj was stupid for loaning the money in the first place, and that she got what she deserved (oh, I could describe it, but I'm running out of room)!

          What Tenaj deserves is to get her money back from the person she loaned it to in good faith. She also deserves our respect for putting herself in someone else's shoes, and for having enough faith in her friend to believe that she would not be put to financial hardship before the loan was repaid. It takes a lot of courage to loan someone, even a friend, a thousand dollars or more with no paperwork involved.  Doing so demonstrates that you care for your friend more than you care about the money, which is not to suggest that you don't care about the money. It also demonstrates your belief that your friend cares about you as well, and that she'll keep her promise to repay her debt.

          I sincerely hope you both get what you have coming to you ...

          Come, Pinky; we must prepare for tomorrow night...

          Jim

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            Columbia City, Indiana
            United States
            Member #2978
            December 9, 2003
            381 Posts
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            Posted: November 25, 2006, 9:26 pm - IP Logged


            I am the BORROWER

            And here is what I say

            You were my friend or you wouldn't have loaned it to me

            I am still your friend---until you decide to make the money more important----

            If my friendship is/was not worth the $450 (in your case)

            then I have not contributed enough to the relationship to set the value above that amount...

            I will probably never pay it back---unless one event happens---

            I will pay when I get a nice"HIT" which may never come--

            but if it does-----you won't get your part if you're not around or near me for me to share it.

            I am a gambler and you knew it........you did in fact jeopardize the relationship when you loaned me the money-----BUT whether a gambler or not-----the relationship was at risk the minute you loaned the money-----Money is loaned, and relationships are lost every day.

            Your only protection was to loan money without expectation of its return---keep the friend----if he's not worth the total loss of the money---he isn't that good a friend---and DON'T make the loan.

            Gamblers are mostly perpetuel borrowers---and who else can they borrow from other than friends and family? 

            I have even given myself a nickname:

            "If I know ya, I owe ya!"

            I guess I am just a better borrower than I am a Gambler

             

            You can maintain the "You owe me money" relationship without ever losing the one's you want to keep.....If they continue to expect ongoing loans just remember that you have reached the "comfort-zone" where you have every right to refuse, and they simply will not expect you to loan them any more.

             

            Maybe the borrower/gambler has burned your valuable relationship too by taking your $450---when at sometime in the future he will have a desperate need for thousands---and where you may have easily given it...

             If you're a friend --stay close---I have more to offer than the money---AFTER ALL--I will always OWE you----Money---and favors and whatever.....I'll always be obligated---as long as you don't "ride" me about it......

            Money is the easiest part of any relationship to replace 

            I hope you got a little insight into the borrowers side.......I found it somewhat theraputic to express my own point of view...pardon me if I made it even more unpleasant.

             

            Bill 

            Well, Bill, it seems you're off and running with your sixth post on the forum, and I nominate you to take first prize in the "Most Idiotic Post" category.

            "... you did in fact jeopardize the relationship when you loaned me the money ..."

            Are you stating that when you go to your friends for help, THEY jeapordize your friendship when they agree to help YOU?

            Pardon my grammar, but that's the stupidest thing I've ever read, on this forum or on any other.

            Quite frankly, I'm glad you're not my friend; I don't think I could afford your loyalty ...

            Come, Pinky; we must prepare for tomorrow night...

            Jim

              Lkydeb*594's avatar - yummyxmascat
              Luv Vtracs 8-)

              United States
              Member #38062
              April 23, 2006
              12576 Posts
              Offline
              Posted: November 25, 2006, 9:30 pm - IP Logged

              Weather a loan is to a friend or a member of your family, any agreement should be in writing. forms of promissory notes( also known as IOUs), which are often available in stationary stores, can be used for this purpose. What should be included in the agreement? At a minimum, it should specify the amount of the loan, it's terms and the interest rate, if any.

                        $500                                     Dated:______________

                                    PROMISSORY NOTE
               

              FOR VALUE RECEIVED, I_________________________________

              (Borrower) promise to pay to the order of ______________ the sum of five hundred ($500), payable commencing on _____________,20__, and each succeeding month thereafter for _____ months in equal monthly installments till paid in full, $500.  

                                          ___________________(borrower)

              this keeps a strain off a friend or family member & it does hold in court. 

                  The signature of the borrower is essential to making the promisary note legally enforceable.  The main purpose of a written agreement is not to frighten your friend or relative into thinking you'll haul him off to court, but to emphasize that borrowing money is a serious business. 

              I totally agree with u jim but everyone is on a different page with their lives & friendships.  It all depends on their past trust like u said.  Their r alot of people who cannot risk a large loan but want to stay on a good side with them. This promisary note comes in handy for most people when their lives depend on it.  

               


                United States
                Member #16612
                June 2, 2005
                3493 Posts
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                Posted: November 26, 2006, 2:48 pm - IP Logged

                My vote is no because I don't want to lend money to someone else.

                  justxploring's avatar - villiarna
                  Wandering Aimlessly
                  United States
                  Member #25360
                  November 5, 2005
                  4461 Posts
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                  Posted: November 26, 2006, 3:21 pm - IP Logged

                  My vote is no because I don't want to lend money to someone else.

                  I like your simple & honest answer and not only because we both share the same first name. lol  ("just") 

                   

                  Wish I had been more succinct because I don't like lending money either! However, I think if a person needs help and the request is sincere, he/she certainly should feel that a friend or family member might be there to chip in when times are rough.

                  When reading my last post here it sounds as if I agree with Bill, but I was only saying that some of us help people we know are going to disappoint us and are hoping they'll change. I wasn't implying that was the case with Tenaj or Emily.  I had a neighbor a few years ago who bought his teenage son a new bicycle for Christmas. One day he came home and said it was stolen. This family was plagued with the disease of addiction. Anyway my neighbor had suspected for a long time that his son was taking drugs. I was floored when he was more upset that this kid lied to him about the bike (which he sold for some rocks) than he was about a 15 year old smoking crack!  He said I didn't understand because I don't have teenage boys and he actually accepted his drug abuse, but was truly hurt by the lying. However, my point is that rather than getting him help, he kept feeding him with gifts hoping the bad stuff would just go away and it doesn't work that way. (hope I'm making some sense here.)

                    Rubi 311's avatar - scene sunoverlake.jpg
                    Illinois
                    United States
                    Member #40207
                    May 29, 2006
                    2024 Posts
                    Offline
                    Posted: November 27, 2006, 9:14 am - IP Logged


                    I am the BORROWER

                    And here is what I say

                    You were my friend or you wouldn't have loaned it to me

                    I am still your friend---until you decide to make the money more important----

                    If my friendship is/was not worth the $450 (in your case)

                    then I have not contributed enough to the relationship to set the value above that amount...

                    I will probably never pay it back---unless one event happens---

                    I will pay when I get a nice"HIT" which may never come--

                    but if it does-----you won't get your part if you're not around or near me for me to share it.

                    I am a gambler and you knew it........you did in fact jeopardize the relationship when you loaned me the money-----BUT whether a gambler or not-----the relationship was at risk the minute you loaned the money-----Money is loaned, and relationships are lost every day.

                    Your only protection was to loan money without expectation of its return---keep the friend----if he's not worth the total loss of the money---he isn't that good a friend---and DON'T make the loan.

                    Gamblers are mostly perpetuel borrowers---and who else can they borrow from other than friends and family? 

                    I have even given myself a nickname:

                    "If I know ya, I owe ya!"

                    I guess I am just a better borrower than I am a Gambler

                     

                    You can maintain the "You owe me money" relationship without ever losing the one's you want to keep.....If they continue to expect ongoing loans just remember that you have reached the "comfort-zone" where you have every right to refuse, and they simply will not expect you to loan them any more.

                     

                    Maybe the borrower/gambler has burned your valuable relationship too by taking your $450---when at sometime in the future he will have a desperate need for thousands---and where you may have easily given it...

                     If you're a friend --stay close---I have more to offer than the money---AFTER ALL--I will always OWE you----Money---and favors and whatever.....I'll always be obligated---as long as you don't "ride" me about it......

                    Money is the easiest part of any relationship to replace 

                    I hope you got a little insight into the borrowers side.......I found it somewhat theraputic to express my own point of view...pardon me if I made it even more unpleasant.

                     

                    Bill 

                    This is a joke, right?  If he/she is a true friend they wouldn't borrow money without paying it back!  This kind of mentality only enables the chronic gambler to keep preying (abusing) on his/her victims. As a professional with credentials, I can honestly say that if you think it's ok for a gambler/borrower to believe this crap...you need some serious help.  Call...1-800-FUL-LOFCRAP!

                      Avatar

                      United States
                      Member #9519
                      December 10, 2004
                      492 Posts
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                      Posted: November 28, 2006, 9:06 pm - IP Logged

                      Absolutely not !!!

                        sirbrad's avatar - Lottery-062.jpg
                        PA
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                        Member #22983
                        October 6, 2005
                        2226 Posts
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                        Posted: December 2, 2006, 9:08 pm - IP Logged

                        No because if you have to lend them money to gamble, chances are they already have a big enough problem as it is. Don't let them gamble all your money away too. Also if they win you probably won't see a dime, that is typical of most.