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Your Thoughts On This?

Topic closed. 49 replies. Last post 8 years ago by ThatScaryChick.

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New Member
Syracuse, N.Y.
United States
Member #70554
February 5, 2009
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Posted: February 5, 2009, 10:43 am - IP Logged

Hiya, I'm new here today ... would really appreciate your opinions on a situation.

I know that you all might have a different opinion, and that's ok, would just be interested to see how others would look at this.

My sister has come into a winning of 1.5 million.

I have 2 other sisters, so there are 4 of us. 

My sister bought a house, gave her 'only' child $100,000 and a new loaded car.  She also bought 'one' sister a new car and gave me and my other sister $1,000. 

She paid bills, gave money to church, helped some friends.

To my present situation:  I have read over and over,  how winners help their closest family members first, and especially since she's not married, has only one child, and her sisters are her closest and only family for the most part.  Our parents are gone, and so are most aunts and uncles.

I decided to ask her for a 'loan', so I could feel independant ... to help me out with my car, that's on it's last legs, it's OLD ... and to pay off a very small loan at my credit union .. just so I could get a bit ahead.  I'm on SSI because of Lupus and other health issues.

Her answer?  "I won't say yes and I won't say no, I want us to spend more time together first, see how that goes and then I'll decide."

First, that really hurts me ... second, I'm insulted, because why is there a 'condition' to helping out a sister who REALLY needs it, after you've just bought the other sister a brand new car???

She KNOWS me all ready ... and how much 'time' does she mean? It's like she's dangling the 'money' in front of me, as she 'spends time with me'.  I'm just really hurt and confused.

Your thoughts?

 

Nice to meet you all!  Smile

Diana

    konane's avatar - wallace
    Atlanta, GA
    United States
    Member #1265
    March 13, 2003
    3333 Posts
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    Posted: February 5, 2009, 11:18 am - IP Logged

    Welcome to Lottery Post.  You may want to search some archived posts as to members' opinions about sharing jackpot money because there has been plenty of discussion about it. 

    Hope you find enough games information so you can win a large jackpot for yourself which may or may not change your perspective about sharing!  Big Grin Angel

    Good luck to everyone!

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      New Member
      Syracuse, N.Y.
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      Posted: February 5, 2009, 11:27 am - IP Logged

      Hiya Konane!  :)

       

      Where would I find those posts? 

       

      Thing is you see, I'm not a greedy person at ALL, I've never had much in life .. and have trouble buying myself new clothes, I'll go for years before I do that, instead I'd rather pay my bills and live responsibly.  I'm a good person, kind and loving to all my sisters. 

      I guess I just don't understand her concept ... if it were me, I can say for SURE, first would be my sons, then my sisters, a check for a certain amount with no strings.  How great it would feel to me, to know I've made their life a little bit easier! 

      Of course, you'd also have to know my sister and the family dynamics.  She's always been the one who has been like this, making others feel small ... in how she talks to us, treats us, etc.   The sister who got the car, is the one who .... hmmm .. how shall I say this ... made 'nice' with her, because she knew the money was there.

      Me? I refuse to pretend or make 'nice' for money ... I guess I thought she would care enough, just because I'm her sister, to help me out. 

      Hope folks here won't think I'm just complaining .... and want something for nothing, I'm more hurt than angry ... very hurt.


        United States
        Member #58528
        February 18, 2008
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        Posted: February 5, 2009, 12:53 pm - IP Logged

        Hiya Konane!  :)

         

        Where would I find those posts? 

         

        Thing is you see, I'm not a greedy person at ALL, I've never had much in life .. and have trouble buying myself new clothes, I'll go for years before I do that, instead I'd rather pay my bills and live responsibly.  I'm a good person, kind and loving to all my sisters. 

        I guess I just don't understand her concept ... if it were me, I can say for SURE, first would be my sons, then my sisters, a check for a certain amount with no strings.  How great it would feel to me, to know I've made their life a little bit easier! 

        Of course, you'd also have to know my sister and the family dynamics.  She's always been the one who has been like this, making others feel small ... in how she talks to us, treats us, etc.   The sister who got the car, is the one who .... hmmm .. how shall I say this ... made 'nice' with her, because she knew the money was there.

        Me? I refuse to pretend or make 'nice' for money ... I guess I thought she would care enough, just because I'm her sister, to help me out. 

        Hope folks here won't think I'm just complaining .... and want something for nothing, I'm more hurt than angry ... very hurt.

        Funny thing about life,you can pick your friends...but you can't pick your family.

          x1kosmic's avatar - neptune vg2.gif

          United States
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          December 7, 2006
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          Posted: February 5, 2009, 1:26 pm - IP Logged

             Sounds like 'ole  Sis  wants you to suck-up and 'earn' your little loan.

                                 Screw that,   If the subject comes up in the future, tell her you've already figured something out,  like mabey a Bank Loan.

               I know you love your sister,  but carry on visiting, and calling, on a regular basis as if the money didn't exsist.

             Funny how she buys one car for one sister,  and doesn't even offer you any help, especially when you need it.

                 Mabey you'll find a little formula, or trick here, and win your own Money,   then we'll see how high her horse rides.

                                     welcome  to Lottery PostJester 

            ThatScaryChick's avatar - x1MqPuM
            Idaho
            United States
            Member #56506
            November 21, 2007
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            Posted: February 5, 2009, 1:49 pm - IP Logged

            Hello Diana Elaine and welcome to Lottery Post.

            I guess I am going to go against the grain here and give my opinion and I hope it's not taken the wrong way. I too have 3 sister, but I also have my mom and neices and nephews that I plan on helping if I ever come into a big jackpot. (big is relative it depends on the size how much they will get.) The thing is besides my mom, the rest of the bunch will only get a set of amount. That is it.

            Please don't get me wrong. I love them dearily. I don't know how close you are to your family, but I am very close to certain members of my family. If push came to shove and they needed help, (car breaking down, sick, etc.) I would help them out because that is how my family is, but I am not going to become a piggy bank. I am not saying that is your situation, but could you sister feel like that she is becoming other peoples "bank".

            There are many stories posted here on Lottey Post of winners not putting their foot down and saying no to family and friends and losing all of their money that they won and a lot of these people had won a lot more money then 1.5 million dollars. And on that end, to be honest, 1.5 million isn't a high-end jackpot. Maybe she wants to put most of it away for retirement or something. Again, I don't know your sister or you or your relationship, but maybe she is giving you each a set amount for certain reasons. Also, how close are the two of you? Maybe she doesn't feel like she really knows you that well. Siblings are all different and not everyone feels like they have to be nice to each other. I mean I know siblings who literally hate each other and if they ever won a jackpot, their would be no sharing. That is just how some familys are.

            It does sound a bit strange that she wants to get to know you before giving you a loan for a car, but it is her money and she can choose how she gives it out. If you feel uncomfortable about how she does that, then you probably should say no and lose out on the loan. I hope your situation gets better.

            "No one remembers the person who almost climbed the mountain, only the person who eventually gets to the top."

              diamondpalace's avatar - Untitled 2.jpg
              Dallas, TX
              United States
              Member #60284
              April 12, 2008
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              Posted: February 5, 2009, 1:50 pm - IP Logged

              Oh wow, that's messed up. Well, you're at in the right place, here you can find a lot of information about lottery from players to help you win the jackpot. It would be amusing to see you win 100x more than your sister's jackpot. Then when she ran out of her money she will come to you, and by then you can quote her on what she said to you when you asked for the loan. Hehe, that would be sweet. But of course to set good example you will loan her the money, but not yet, because she will need the time to learn.

                four4me's avatar - gate1
                MD
                United States
                Member #1701
                June 18, 2003
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                Posted: February 5, 2009, 2:04 pm - IP Logged

                I don't know if it was before or after taxes that your sister won 1.5 million. If she won 1.5 million and had to pay taxes on it and after all her bills were paid the house bought and immediate family and friends were helped she might be low on funds.  

                The little bit she has left might be a financial cushion for her at this point after all it take lots of money to raise a child and put them through school.

                No one is obligated to help anyone if they win the lottery. An example is my sister who is like 13 yrs older than me. We rarely speak. If she won the lottery she has 4 children and numerous grand children. She might help them but i wouldn't expect her to help me. If she didn't give me a dime it wouldn't bother me one bit as it's her money to do with as she pleases.

                Big John says. You don't hit the number. The number hits you!!!!

                               I'm not Big John, I'm Four4me, Big John's a friend.
                  emilyg's avatar - cat anm.gif

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                  Posted: February 5, 2009, 2:29 pm - IP Logged

                  I don't know if it was before or after taxes that your sister won 1.5 million. If she won 1.5 million and had to pay taxes on it and after all her bills were paid the house bought and immediate family and friends were helped she might be low on funds.  

                  The little bit she has left might be a financial cushion for her at this point after all it take lots of money to raise a child and put them through school.

                  No one is obligated to help anyone if they win the lottery. An example is my sister who is like 13 yrs older than me. We rarely speak. If she won the lottery she has 4 children and numerous grand children. She might help them but i wouldn't expect her to help me. If she didn't give me a dime it wouldn't bother me one bit as it's her money to do with as she pleases.

                  Good take on it. 

                  love to nibble those micey feet.

                   

                                               

                    Coin Toss's avatar - shape barbed.jpg
                    Zeta Reticuli Star System
                    United States
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                    Posted: February 5, 2009, 2:32 pm - IP Logged

                    Diane Elaine,

                    Welcome to LP. As you're already seeing, you're going to get various opinions on this.

                    It sounds like you're coming from the "Now that' we've won" school of thought regarding your sister's jackpot.

                    Someone here recently posted that a coupld of TV shows about lottery winners said that 70% of them wind up blowing all the money, and it's usually because they try to please evereybody, using anybody to mean most commonly friends and family.

                    There have also been winners who said when they gave people money, lots of money, every single one of them came back asking for more.

                    Those who run the lotteries love it when players look for consistency in something that's designed not to have any.

                    Lep

                    There is one and only one 'proven' system, and that is to book the action. No matter the game, let the players pick their own losers.

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                      Syracuse, N.Y.
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                      Posted: February 5, 2009, 3:14 pm - IP Logged

                      That's very true!

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                        Syracuse, N.Y.
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                        Posted: February 5, 2009, 3:22 pm - IP Logged

                        See, that's exactly how she's making me feel ... and how she has made me feel and also the other sisters, my mom and my dad, when they were alive.

                        If she ever helped, it was with conditions ... when my mom had cancer, and was in her last days, sister and her husband went on a cruise, leaving me to take care of mom alone, and I was divorced with 2 small sons.  I had to leave them alone with the 13 year old in charge, many times ... to care for mom.  Sister then came home to sit there and show me pictures, tell me how much FUN she had ... and seemed to look right through me.  I say that because, I was EXHAUSTED from being there for my mom, my sons, and seeing mom suffer from pain, and almost bleeding to death from her 'tumor'.  I was a horrid time, and I was all alone.  She didn't even seem to CARE!

                        And by the way, I came here originally, because I just started playing the the lottery, and Take 5, so yes, I intend to try to learn how to pick the numbers and hopefully win.  I don't even care if it's much, just enough to pay my credit union up, then I'll be happy.  It doesn't take much for me.  Big Smile

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                          Syracuse, N.Y.
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                          Posted: February 5, 2009, 3:31 pm - IP Logged

                          Hi Scary,

                          I actually understand you're saying very well ... and I know she has no obligation to give me anything, I think it's hurting so much because:

                          She always told us sisters, that if she won, we would 'all' get equal amounts and it would be at least 10,000.

                          We're all Christians, and we've gone through some tough times together, losing mom and dad (a VERY emotional event), talking of how we'll do this or that .. when we all get to Heaven.

                          I almost raised her daughter, when she didn't want to be a mom ... I stepped right in and took over for almost a full year.

                          My mom and I were at her house several times a week (her invite), tupperware parties, dinner, just to gab, we went out for ice-cream, etc ....  when we were both first married.

                          She DOES know me, it really hurts me and is very frustrated, why she says she wants to 'get to know me' and spend 'more' time with me, before she decides. .. it's just seems like the same control she's used on me and others, in the past.

                          So, all though she owes me nothing (I speak from my heart), it just hurt me that she bought one sister a brand new car, helped her daughter out allot, sent another sister's daughter a check for her wedding, and won't help me with something that will really is very helpful to me and not a luxury or petty, you know?

                          Just a little from my perspective.

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                            Syracuse, N.Y.
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                            Posted: February 5, 2009, 3:32 pm - IP Logged

                            LOL, had to laugh at your little 'idea' ... but no, I'd never do that, revenge isn't something I care about, I just feel hurt more than anything.

                            But it's good to know somebody else does understand.   And yes, am just beginning to play .... hopefully will win someday.

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                              Syracuse, N.Y.
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                              Posted: February 5, 2009, 3:34 pm - IP Logged

                              It was after taxes.

                              I do realize she's not obligated at all ... but as explained in my other posts, we're all close, and I just don't understand why 'car' sister didn't have to prove her relationship to her before getting it, but I do ... for a very small amount, for something that will help me out tremendously.  And it was a loan at that.