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Your Thoughts On This?

Topic closed. 49 replies. Last post 8 years ago by ThatScaryChick.

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New Member
Syracuse, N.Y.
United States
Member #70554
February 5, 2009
21 Posts
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Posted: February 13, 2009, 10:00 pm - IP Logged

Tonight was hard ... I called her to just say hello, on my OWN .. not because I HAD to.

She tells me about buying my sister who lives out of state .. a bunch of 'chocolate' stuff, candy, a stuffed bear with chocolate, brownies, fudge, etc. etc. and sending it to her in a package. 

That was very nice of her .. yes, but I'm not sure why she told me that, right after making such a fuss about 'conditions' for the loan.  It's just weird ... sister out of state is no closer to her than I am, and it seems she is doing much more for both of my other sisters than me.  NOT whining ... because after telling her to forget the loan, I'm not sure I want anything from her .... just not sure why she thought she should continue to tell me these things.  She also mentioned taking my neice and her daughter shopping for clothes this week-end.

I humbly listened and just changed the subject .... but it was hard just the same ... after all, I AM human.

    MysteryMan424's avatar - batman22
    Pelham NY
    United States
    Member #60411
    April 16, 2008
    169 Posts
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    Posted: February 15, 2009, 11:05 am - IP Logged

    Clearly your sister has flaked out on you. This usually happens with friends and we just write them off, but how do you write off family? And now if you do cut or shut her off ,how do you do it without appearing upset about the loan? One solution is continue to interact with her, just avoid conversations about finances, or anything that has to do with money, expenses, etc.

      RJOh's avatar - chipmunk
      mid-Ohio
      United States
      Member #9
      March 24, 2001
      19830 Posts
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      Posted: February 15, 2009, 11:29 am - IP Logged

      Hiya,

      Car sister had a car, but it was old and breaking down allot.  Her financial situation is about the same as mine.

      Don't know much about gift taxes, but she bought her daughter a car worth 30,000 and my sister's was about 22,000, so not sure how it worked, I never asked.

      I was never sitting around waiting for money ... I nicely asked her for a loan, keeping it as business=like as I could.  I always intended to pay every penny back.

      I did bow out gracefully.

      If a loan is all you need, why not try a bank if you can't get one from family?  That's what I told a neighbor when he approached me with a similar story asking for a loan.

       * you don't need to buy more tickets, just buy a winning ticket * 
         
                   Evil Looking       

        GamerMom's avatar - tails

        United States
        Member #60535
        April 21, 2008
        460 Posts
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        Posted: February 15, 2009, 2:45 pm - IP Logged

        Tonight was hard ... I called her to just say hello, on my OWN .. not because I HAD to.

        She tells me about buying my sister who lives out of state .. a bunch of 'chocolate' stuff, candy, a stuffed bear with chocolate, brownies, fudge, etc. etc. and sending it to her in a package. 

        That was very nice of her .. yes, but I'm not sure why she told me that, right after making such a fuss about 'conditions' for the loan.  It's just weird ... sister out of state is no closer to her than I am, and it seems she is doing much more for both of my other sisters than me.  NOT whining ... because after telling her to forget the loan, I'm not sure I want anything from her .... just not sure why she thought she should continue to tell me these things.  She also mentioned taking my neice and her daughter shopping for clothes this week-end.

        I humbly listened and just changed the subject .... but it was hard just the same ... after all, I AM human.

        Was she jealous of you as a child? it sounds like she's rubbing it in your face a bit too much. 

          ThatScaryChick's avatar - x1MqPuM
          Idaho
          United States
          Member #56506
          November 21, 2007
          6537 Posts
          Offline
          Posted: February 15, 2009, 3:18 pm - IP Logged

          Tonight was hard ... I called her to just say hello, on my OWN .. not because I HAD to.

          She tells me about buying my sister who lives out of state .. a bunch of 'chocolate' stuff, candy, a stuffed bear with chocolate, brownies, fudge, etc. etc. and sending it to her in a package. 

          That was very nice of her .. yes, but I'm not sure why she told me that, right after making such a fuss about 'conditions' for the loan.  It's just weird ... sister out of state is no closer to her than I am, and it seems she is doing much more for both of my other sisters than me.  NOT whining ... because after telling her to forget the loan, I'm not sure I want anything from her .... just not sure why she thought she should continue to tell me these things.  She also mentioned taking my neice and her daughter shopping for clothes this week-end.

          I humbly listened and just changed the subject .... but it was hard just the same ... after all, I AM human.

          It's sound like you are taking the higher road Diana. If you want a relationship with her that doesn't involve her winnings, just keep changing the subject when she starts bringing up gifts and maybe she will take the hint. Or if she doesn't take the hint, maybe say something like: "Hey it's nice that you are buying all these gifts for everyone, but I was calling to talk about other things." or something like that. Hopefully, she will take the hint and stop throwing her generosity in your face.

          "No one remembers the person who almost climbed the mountain, only the person who eventually gets to the top."