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I think I lost a friend of 15 years.

Topic closed. 89 replies. Last post 6 years ago by ca-dreamin*.

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CARBOB's avatar - FL LOTTERY_LOGO.png
ORLANDO, FLORIDA
United States
Member #4924
June 3, 2004
5903 Posts
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Posted: December 15, 2010, 4:33 am - IP Logged

SmoothJuice, when you purchased the tickets, did it ever cross your mind, to give her the $.50 ticket? Are we not close to Christmas? Did it not once cross your mind , knowing her situation? Do you not realise, the value of a friend? Do you not know that, if you have just one friend, you are a lucky human being?

    Jani Norman's avatar - fiftyways
    OHIO
    United States
    Member #4164
    March 27, 2004
    14586 Posts
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    Posted: December 15, 2010, 4:41 am - IP Logged

    SmoothJuice, when you purchased the tickets, did it ever cross your mind, to give her the $.50 ticket? Are we not close to Christmas? Did it not once cross your mind , knowing her situation? Do you not realise, the value of a friend? Do you not know that, if you have just one friend, you are a lucky human being?

    I Agree! So true CARBOB I agree with you, if you have 1(one) friend consider yourself truly blessed........

    "I am what I am by the grace of God."

    Kitfany

    http://www.ohiolottery.com/

      rukiafae's avatar - box
      NC
      United States
      Member #100192
      November 7, 2010
      125 Posts
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      Posted: December 15, 2010, 8:22 am - IP Logged

      I havent read through all the responses yet but heres my take.

       

      It's a tough situation to be in. Almost, really, a no win situation.

       

      I think ideally, probably the right thing to do was to split it 50/50. Afterall, she DID pick the winning numbers, and you bought the ticket. You each did 50% of the work.(this is why i do not share numbers or ask for numbers, for situations just like this)

       

      I know you have helped her in the past, and I am sure you were figuring it kind of 'balanced' out. Buy her groceries (sounds like you may have done other things in the past as well), take her to dinner, give her a $20 and some booze and call it a day.

       

      The first thing most of us would do or think of doing is just what you did- pay off bills and then do whatever with the rest. I am sure she has bills she would like to pay off too, and things she needs. especially for a single mother at this time of year.

       

      We, as humans, are greedy and selfish. We think of ourselves first. I'ts human nature. Some are better at thinking things through before taking any action, which is why some seem so generous or altruistic.

       

      what would I have done (personally)...  think of everything I could do with $750 (pay bills, buy my kids the gifts they really want for xmas, etc, etc). But, I believe in karma (some do, some don't). In my mind, if I had taken the majority of the winnings for myself, I basically would have sealed my fate to never win a larger prize. Since I tend to believe that what you think and believe, manifests itself into reality, this probably would be the case (for me). For me, splitting the prize would have 1- been the right thing to do and 2- shown the lotto luck gods that hey- im really not TOO greedy, and opened the way for future big winnings (perhaos ones I did NOT have to share, unless by choice)

       

      I know you thought what you were doing was nice. And it was. But I think you could have been more generous. after all, if not for her numbers, you may have ended up with nothing.

        TheGameGrl's avatar - character catafly.jpg
        A long and winding road
        United States
        Member #17084
        June 10, 2005
        4529 Posts
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        Posted: December 15, 2010, 8:51 am - IP Logged

        Smoothjuice, I am of the mindset as rjoh stated. With the following addage: A gift given comes with NO STRINGS attached.

        If I ever had the shoe on the other foot I would definitely be of the mindset that GREAT I am glad you won! ANd leave it at that....It wasnt my money that won it, its not my place to behave poorly and cry foul.

        You outdid yourself by sharing a dinner and some cash. that was above gracious. Amazing how some folks internalize things instead of looking outwards at the goodness of a kind gesture. It is what it is.

        ~~Is it true, Is it kind,Is it necessary. ~~~

        christmas holly jolly numbers: 255,303,6911, 474,477 silver:47,gold:79.

          Avatar

          United States
          Member #54390
          August 17, 2007
          313 Posts
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          Posted: December 15, 2010, 10:35 am - IP Logged

          SmoothJuice, when you purchased the tickets, did it ever cross your mind, to give her the $.50 ticket? Are we not close to Christmas? Did it not once cross your mind , knowing her situation? Do you not realise, the value of a friend? Do you not know that, if you have just one friend, you are a lucky human being?

          My friends don't have a money value.  If they do, that's illegal. I guess me helping her grocery shopping, taking her out to dinner, drinking and having a good time was worthless to her.  Human labor is getting worthless n  owadays.

          "It's not a friend who consider your losses your problems and your winnings partly theirs.  Any friend who expect to share your winnings should share your losses too." -RJOh

            Avatar

            United States
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            Posted: December 15, 2010, 10:58 am - IP Logged

            I have noticed something:

             

            Majority(not all) of the Women on this thread thought I was greedy, even though I was kind to her. (The ones who thought I wasn't greedy--those are the type of lady-friends I want)

             

            Majority(not all) of the Men thought I was kind and generous to her.  Majority of the men took account that I helped her go grocery shopping, paid for the ticket, took her to an upscale restaurant(Her tab was $25+10 for her daughter), bought her some expensive Jack Daniels Single Barrel whiskey ($55),plus I gave her $20 cash. 

             

            I wonder if there is a difference in Men and Women when it comes to Human Kindness, Money, and Human Labor.

             

            I'm still shocked by the negative responses, especially when it's coming from a lottery forum.  To those of you who thought I was kind to her, GOD BLESS YOU.

             

            We were friends for 15 years and everything changed in a snap when the lottery came around.  She's the type of "friend" I would not want if I won the Mega Millions Jackpot and if she would have won the Mega Millions, she'd end up like Jack Whittaker and the other irresponsible lottery winners.

            "It's not a friend who consider your losses your problems and your winnings partly theirs.  Any friend who expect to share your winnings should share your losses too." -RJOh

              rukiafae's avatar - box
              NC
              United States
              Member #100192
              November 7, 2010
              125 Posts
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              Posted: December 15, 2010, 11:10 am - IP Logged

              I have noticed something:

               

              Majority(not all) of the Women on this thread thought I was greedy, even though I was kind to her. (The ones who thought I wasn't greedy--those are the type of lady-friends I want)

               

              Majority(not all) of the Men thought I was kind and generous to her.  Majority of the men took account that I helped her go grocery shopping, paid for the ticket, took her to an upscale restaurant(Her tab was $25+10 for her daughter), bought her some expensive Jack Daniels Single Barrel whiskey ($55),plus I gave her $20 cash. 

               

              I wonder if there is a difference in Men and Women when it comes to Human Kindness, Money, and Human Labor.

               

              I'm still shocked by the negative responses, especially when it's coming from a lottery forum.  To those of you who thought I was kind to her, GOD BLESS YOU.

               

              We were friends for 15 years and everything changed in a snap when the lottery came around.  She's the type of "friend" I would not want if I won the Mega Millions Jackpot and if she would have won the Mega Millions, she'd end up like Jack Whittaker and the other irresponsible lottery winners.

              Maybe women are more willing to share more? I don't know.

              I also think that, until we are put in that situation, that no one REALLY knows what they will do.

              I think you were nice to help with the food, and taking her to dinner. I think I would have done more, or perhaps given her cash as opposed to dinner- since cash can be used to help her with her needs- but that's just ME. I (personally) would feel guilty keeping most of the money, knowing I won with her numbers (and that the friendship had been 15+ years, and it wasnt some random person that gave them to me), but again, thats just me. Although I asked my husband what HE would do, and he agreed with me. So perhaps it is more the person than the gender? who knows...

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                Sunny California
                United States
                Member #40295
                May 31, 2006
                7712 Posts
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                Posted: December 15, 2010, 11:16 am - IP Logged

                She thought you should have given her a $100. Instead she got $20, a dinner and expensive whiskey. You were giving her "kind gestures" when she wanted the cold hard cash. When the dinner was digested and the whiskey drunk all that was left was $20... that's what she will remember.

                  tiggs95's avatar - Lottery-036.jpg

                  United States
                  Member #47420
                  November 4, 2006
                  3930 Posts
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                  Posted: December 15, 2010, 12:05 pm - IP Logged

                  I haven't been here in months because I have been cutting back on the lottery.  I've been only playing the Mega Millions when it goes over $100 million(like now).

                  Money really make people two-faced. This is why I'm worried what will happen if I actually won a huge jackpot prize.

                  On November 30, I was helping my friend, a single mother of one kid, go grocery shopping.  After we were done, I told her that I was going to buy a Pick 3 lottery game and I wanted her to pick the numbers.  She picked her daughter's birthday, 7-19-2004 (719).  I wagered $1.50 and won $750!!!!  I paid off my electric, gas and rent bill for that month.  I also gave her $20 for picking the numbers.   2 days later, I took her and her daughter to a nice, upscale restaurant on my tab and I thought everything was dandy...WRONG.   We decided that I would buy some premium whiskey(Jack Daniels Single Barrel) and we would drink it at her house and watch a movie.  After a few drinks, she started to get irritated about something and I asked her what was wrong.  She told me that I should have given her at least $100 for picking the numbers.  At that point, I thought to myself about all of the unfortuanate jackpot winners like Jack Whittaker and the Floridian Jackpot winner was shot and killed shortly after a jackpot win.

                  To make the story short, we argued about it for 30 minutes even though I know I didn't do anything wrong.  I've known her for 15 years; she was so nice and sweet.  After I won that money, which is all gone already, she had a devil in her and she drastically changed.  It seemed like she was some machine and couldn't help being two-faced. 

                   

                  Winning that $750 didn't make me two-faced at all. All I did was pay my bills, treated her and her daughter out to dinner and gave her some money for giving me the numbers. 

                  It's hard to trust human beings.  The human brain is so dang complex..especially when it senses money.....it's amazing....Thumbs Down

                  If you have problems with close friends what you gonna do with your family if you win big...Buy tickets and play to lose..tiggs told his sister if he wins big he was going to send her some money and hopes she's happy with what he sends and then move and hide..Maybe that's what happen with ridge hitting big and hiding..Let's hope that's it..

                                                                            Pure luck

                    Raven62's avatar - binary
                    New Jersey
                    United States
                    Member #17843
                    June 28, 2005
                    49784 Posts
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                    Posted: December 15, 2010, 12:07 pm - IP Logged

                    I have noticed something:

                     

                    Majority(not all) of the Women on this thread thought I was greedy, even though I was kind to her. (The ones who thought I wasn't greedy--those are the type of lady-friends I want)

                     

                    Majority(not all) of the Men thought I was kind and generous to her.  Majority of the men took account that I helped her go grocery shopping, paid for the ticket, took her to an upscale restaurant(Her tab was $25+10 for her daughter), bought her some expensive Jack Daniels Single Barrel whiskey ($55),plus I gave her $20 cash. 

                     

                    I wonder if there is a difference in Men and Women when it comes to Human Kindness, Money, and Human Labor.

                     

                    I'm still shocked by the negative responses, especially when it's coming from a lottery forum.  To those of you who thought I was kind to her, GOD BLESS YOU.

                     

                    We were friends for 15 years and everything changed in a snap when the lottery came around.  She's the type of "friend" I would not want if I won the Mega Millions Jackpot and if she would have won the Mega Millions, she'd end up like Jack Whittaker and the other irresponsible lottery winners.

                    Men are from Mars: Women are from Venus! Thud

                    Arguments occur because: Differences of Opinion exist and the emotion of both people kicks in with: I'm right you're wrong. At that Point: Neither Person is Listening to what the other Person is Saying. The End Result: Neither Person will Understand the Other Persons Point of View: And the End of a Friendship.

                    A mind once stretched by a new idea never returns to its original dimensions!

                      TheGameGrl's avatar - character catafly.jpg
                      A long and winding road
                      United States
                      Member #17084
                      June 10, 2005
                      4529 Posts
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                      Posted: December 15, 2010, 12:43 pm - IP Logged

                      She thought you should have given her a $100. Instead she got $20, a dinner and expensive whiskey. You were giving her "kind gestures" when she wanted the cold hard cash. When the dinner was digested and the whiskey drunk all that was left was $20... that's what she will remember.

                      Lottolaughs I sincerely adore you and "GET" that a gesture doesnt pay the bills...what if anything does that have to do with the fact that the one friend was not legally entitled to the cash portion? I assure you , you have given and guided on many postings and folks have won, yet never once in those years have you chosen to link a site to place donations...its just not appropriate when the end goal is for many to win or at the very least gain techniques to aide them.

                      Giving and Gifting are a CHOICE not a right or a demand amongst friends/family/ associates....This friend (as do some of the opinions expressed here.).err to the side of ENTITLEMENT mentality.

                      ~~Is it true, Is it kind,Is it necessary. ~~~

                      christmas holly jolly numbers: 255,303,6911, 474,477 silver:47,gold:79.

                        swissmocha's avatar - 003 1.jpg
                        628/289/513
                        United States
                        Member #98314
                        October 5, 2010
                        10764 Posts
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                        Posted: December 15, 2010, 12:53 pm - IP Logged

                        I have always been told that money can ruin the best friendships, relationships, and even marriages. Hate to hear that a friendship was lost over money, if it was a real friendship. Just remember the best way to have a REAL friendship is to leave money out of it.

                         

                        I think i would have just given her money, no dinner and no drinking. MONEY CHANGES THINGS AND PEOPLE IN A LOT OF CASES.

                        SmmothJuice what I said was not to be offensive but it is just reality. Sorry you felt offended. And I have to say that no one knows your heart and what you have done for her already.  So so sorry.

                        Some people just like to watch the world burn!!!!

                        Love the people who treat you right, and pray for those who don'tBlue Angel

                          luckylady007's avatar - Lottery-061.jpg
                          Williamston, N.C
                          United States
                          Member #64073
                          August 17, 2008
                          1155 Posts
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                          Posted: December 15, 2010, 1:01 pm - IP Logged

                          I haven't been here in months because I have been cutting back on the lottery.  I've been only playing the Mega Millions when it goes over $100 million(like now).

                          Money really make people two-faced. This is why I'm worried what will happen if I actually won a huge jackpot prize.

                          On November 30, I was helping my friend, a single mother of one kid, go grocery shopping.  After we were done, I told her that I was going to buy a Pick 3 lottery game and I wanted her to pick the numbers.  She picked her daughter's birthday, 7-19-2004 (719).  I wagered $1.50 and won $750!!!!  I paid off my electric, gas and rent bill for that month.  I also gave her $20 for picking the numbers.   2 days later, I took her and her daughter to a nice, upscale restaurant on my tab and I thought everything was dandy...WRONG.   We decided that I would buy some premium whiskey(Jack Daniels Single Barrel) and we would drink it at her house and watch a movie.  After a few drinks, she started to get irritated about something and I asked her what was wrong.  She told me that I should have given her at least $100 for picking the numbers.  At that point, I thought to myself about all of the unfortuanate jackpot winners like Jack Whittaker and the Floridian Jackpot winner was shot and killed shortly after a jackpot win.

                          To make the story short, we argued about it for 30 minutes even though I know I didn't do anything wrong.  I've known her for 15 years; she was so nice and sweet.  After I won that money, which is all gone already, she had a devil in her and she drastically changed.  It seemed like she was some machine and couldn't help being two-faced. 

                           

                          Winning that $750 didn't make me two-faced at all. All I did was pay my bills, treated her and her daughter out to dinner and gave her some money for giving me the numbers. 

                          It's hard to trust human beings.  The human brain is so dang complex..especially when it senses money.....it's amazing....Thumbs Down

                          Hey Smoothjuice I am sorry to hear about your situation. Here is what I think when someone give me a number I buy it for them for .50. I feel like that is the only mistake you made. Have you looked at it like this what if the number didn't come out right then and you decided to keep it in lets say for 2 months and the number came out look at all of the money you would've put on that number. I feel like this you take a chance at playing a number,you put your money into a number and I feel like at the end of the draw if you are a winner then it is your money and at the end of the draw if you are a losser then it is your money that you lost. MONEY MAKE PEOPLE ACT REAL UGLY!!!! One night I dreamt my sister gave me the number 230 in a dream when I woke up the next morning I called everyone I knew and I told them about the number.They played it for a little while the number came 2 months later and they got mad at me because I won over 2000.00 on that number.In the end they realize they was wrong for getting mad with me. I even would remind them every so often to play it and they dropped it. So I feel like you can't satisfy people sometimes if you don't give them half or all they just going to be mad anyhow because MONEY brings out the ugly side of people.If your friend is mad at you over YOUR money then maybe that person is not a friend.I hope things work out for you.

                            Avatar
                            Sunny California
                            United States
                            Member #40295
                            May 31, 2006
                            7712 Posts
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                            Posted: December 15, 2010, 1:14 pm - IP Logged

                            Lottolaughs I sincerely adore you and "GET" that a gesture doesnt pay the bills...what if anything does that have to do with the fact that the one friend was not legally entitled to the cash portion? I assure you , you have given and guided on many postings and folks have won, yet never once in those years have you chosen to link a site to place donations...its just not appropriate when the end goal is for many to win or at the very least gain techniques to aide them.

                            Giving and Gifting are a CHOICE not a right or a demand amongst friends/family/ associates....This friend (as do some of the opinions expressed here.).err to the side of ENTITLEMENT mentality.

                            GG,love, I was just kind of looking at how the lady might have interpreted it. Lovies  I can see this from both sides. Whatever someone gives you...you should be thankful for period..... even, if in your own mind, you don't think it's enough. Things have a way of coming back to us in all shapes and form and not necessarily from the source it originated from. How many good deeds have you done that have gone "thankless". (Every night when I cook dinner,lol) But then later something or someone pops up unexpectedly and wham! We feel appreciated and thanked. Smoothjuice...you didn't do anything wrong. You thanked her the way YOU wanted to...it just wasn't the same way she wanted to be thanked. It would tear me apart if this situation ever happened to me so hang in there. All hope's not lost. Perhaps you can get together again one of these days after everything cools down and discuss things. 

                              garyo1954's avatar - garyo
                              Dallas, Texas
                              United States
                              Member #4549
                              May 2, 2004
                              1720 Posts
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                              Posted: December 15, 2010, 4:10 pm - IP Logged

                              Sad, to hear stories like this. Perhaps in her mind you were playing fifty cents for each of the three of you. In your mind, it was a way to make her feel better and cheer her up.

                              After you won, she felt entitled; you felt rewarded for taking her shopping. She might even have been keeping count of how much you spent and still feels you owe her $100.

                              I had a friend ask for a number once.  The next day she called to tell me it hit. I thought great!

                              Then she asked if I remembered to play it for her too. I didn't recall any of that, so I said, "I thought you were buying our tickets."

                              It saved a lot of headaches.

                              In your case, there is probably nothing you can say to get her to understand.

                              Sorry it turned out bad for you.