CashWinner$'s Blog

Calling illegal aliens undocumented workers is like calling drug dealers unlicensed pharmacists..

A young farm boy from Saskatchewan moved to Vancouver
Island and went to a huge "everything under one roof department
store" looking for a job.
The Manager says, 'Do you have any sales experience?'
The kid says, 'Yeah.  I was a salesman back in Saskatchewan .'
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job.
'You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did.'

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.  After
thestore was locked up, the boss came down. 
'How many customers bought something from you today?'
The kid says 'one'. 
The boss says, 'Just one? Our salespeople average 20 to30
customers a day.   How much was the sale for?'
The kid says, '$101, 237.65.'
The boss says, '$101, 237.65!  What the heck did you sell?'

The kid says, 'First, I sold him a small fishhook.
Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then
I sold him a larger fishhook. Then
I sold him a new fishing rod. Then
I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the
coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to
the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft.
Then he said he didn't  think his Honda Civic would pull
it, so I took him down to the automotive department  and sold him
that 4x4 Ford Expedition.'

The boss said, 'You mean to tell me that a guy came in here to buy
a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?'

The Saskatchewan farm boy said, 'No, the guy came in here to
buy Tampons for his wife and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot --
you should go fishing!'

"He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance; one cannot fly into flying."        Friedrich Nietzsche

Controversial German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche is best known for his book Thus Spoke Zarathustra. Born in 1844 near Leipzig, he renounced Prussian citizenship in 1869, remaining stateless the rest of his life. In his work, he argued against the concept of an omnipotent deity, believing in a "will to power," a drive toward creativity that could explain everything from natural phenomena to human behavior. He suffered from insanity, possibly syphilis-induced, for his last ten years. He died in 1900.

Bubba is driving down a back road in Louisiana ....
A sign in front of a restaurant reads
HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL:   Lobster Tail and Beer
"Lord A'mighty," he says to himself, "Them's my three favorites!"

To find gold, just follow a dog's hha-hemm!

One Taiwanese city has developed an ingenious Midas-like new solution on how to deal with dog waste on its streets and sidewalks.

As Reuters is reporting, New Taipei City hopes to persuade residents to clean up after their dogs by offering raffle tickets in exchange for each bag of droppings they submit. Each ticket offers a chance at a drawing for one of three gold ingots, worth $2081, $624 and $416 respectively, Business Insider is reporting.

An official with the city's environmental protection department is quoted saying:

“We believe this innovative measure will raise people’s awareness of the problem. Through the raffle, we expect the public to pay closer attention to environmental sanitation and play a more active role in keeping their surroundings clean."

Would-be collectors will also have access to free garbage bags, and rewards will be given for people who photograph pet owners who leave their dogs' messes uncleaned.

Teddy Hilton Aug. 2, 2011

One day a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in her nighty. 

'Tie me up',  she purred,  'and you can do anything you want'. 

So he tied her up and went golfing. 

"Failure seldom stops you. What stops you is the fear of failure."    Jack Lemmon

Jack Lemmon is best known for the poignant sweetness he brought to comedic roles in movies like Some Like It Hot and The Apartment, but is also remembered for his dramatic roles. He was born in 1925 into a wealthy Boston family and knew by the age of four that he wanted to become an actor. He won two Academy Awards and was known for his collaborations with director Billy Wilder and costar Walter Matthau. He died in 2001.

Happy Birthday MTV

MTV changed the face of music 30 years ago today when it launched August 1, 1981. The network not only became the voice of youth culture; it became pop culture's biggest purveyor and introduced the art of the music video. Its music-oriented programming exposed viewers to new genres and made pop stars out of a multitude of talented artists.

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO
paperwork, and was just burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful
hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the
local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently,
and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared
carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the
results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of
150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to
appear ungrateful, but I wonder if there is an error in my grade?"

"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly,
which was worth 50%. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50%."

After a long pause, the instructor added, " I gave you an extra 50% because you
did it all through the muffler ”!! 

"People sometimes fail when they are on the verge of success. So give as much care to the end as to the beginning."   –    Lao-Tzu

The ancient Chinese philosopher Lao-Tzu is believed to have lived in the 4th century B.C. Little is known about him, but it is likely that he wrote the Tao te Ching, the foundation of Taoist philosophy, and engaged Confucius in debate, honing both men's belief systems.

Military: LoL -

A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland, at midnight during a winter month.  During the pilot's preflight check, he discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight. So a message is sent to the base and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it.

The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the aircraft only to find that the latrine pump-truck has been left outdoors and is frozen solid, so he must find another one in the hangar, which takes even more time.  He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about what he has to do. Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately and carefully (and slowly) so as not to risk criticism later.

As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, 'Son, your attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late and I'm going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded but punished.' 

Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath, stands tall and says, 'Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son; I'm an Airman in the United States Air Force.  I've been in Thule, Greenland, for 11 months without any leave, and reindeers' asses are beginning to look pretty good to me. I have one stripe; it's 2:30 in the morning, the temperature is 40 degrees below zero, and my job here is to pump sh*t out of an aircraft.  Now, Sir, just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?'

Some unsuspecting husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE".  He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law.  You will prepare me dinner tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will bring me dessert. 

After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of _ex that I want.  Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax.  You will wash my back and towel me dry.  Then, you will massage my feet and hands.  Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?..

 'The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess"….

Egyptian Beer:

I didn’t know that during the construction of the The Ancient Pyramids of Egypt, each worker got a daily ration of 4-5 liters of beer. It was a source of nutrition, refreshment and reward for all the hard work. It was beer for pay. Funny to think, but the great pyramids may not have been built if there hadn’t been enough beer. Go figure!

Vintage Science:

Bowls recovered from King Midas’ 700 B.C. tomb led to the creation of todays Midas Touch Beer. Sam Calagione, the founder of Dogfish Head Brewpub of Delaware, produces Midas and other recovered brew recipes to recreate and market beverages once enjoyed by kings & pharaohs. He even has one recipe for a Chateau that is 9,000 years old. What? Wow!

To think how science can breakdown the ingredients from so long ago and people can now sidle up to the bar and enjoy an ancient cold one. Hmmm. That’s Kool!

Source: Smithsonian Ju/Au 2011

         Judgment

                                 Good Judgment comes from Experience!

                                                                 And

                     A lot of that

         Comes from Bad Judgment!