CashWinner$'s Blog

TO PEE OR NOT TO PEE –

Words of wisdom from an unknown person:

 

Like most folks in this country, I have a job. I work, they pay me.

In order to get that paycheck, in my case, I am required to pass a

random urine test  (with which I have no problem).

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people

who don't have to pass a urine test.

So, here is my question: Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get

a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on

their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping

someone sitting on their  BUTT----doing drugs while  I work.

Can you imagine how much money each state would save if people had to

pass a urine test to  get a public assistance check?

I  guess we could call the program "URINE OR YOU'RE OUT"!

Joke   (1 – 13)

The Economy Is So Bad…….

 

1. The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.  2. I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked,     "Can you afford fries with that?"  3. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.  4. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds,"      you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them . 5. Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.  6. McDonald's is selling the 1/4  'ouncer'.  7. Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their                                 children’s names. 8. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .  9. Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.  10. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.  11. The Mafia is laying off judges.  12. BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.  And, finally...  I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan .  When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

One who understands much

displays a greater simplicity of  character

than one who understands little.
                 

              Alexander Chase

An elderly man is stopped by police around 1 a.m.

and asked where he’s going at this time of night.

The man replies,

"I’m going to a lecture about alcohol

abuse and the effects it has on the human body".

The officer responds,

"Really? Who’s giving a lecture like that at this time of night?"

 ............"My wife." ...........

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. 

She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' 

The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 

'Doesn't matter,' she said. “ Just get out “ !!

LOL

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." Gault says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to Gault. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? "

Gault nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased close behind by the rancher's prize bull.

With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll “Get Horned " before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. Gault throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....

 

" Your badge. Your badge. Show him your BADGE!!! "

"No work is insignificant. All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence."

  – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Martin Luther King, Jr., the revered civil- rights activist renowned for his stirring "I Have a Dream" speech, was arrested more than 20 times for his part in civil-disobedience actions. He was born in 1929. He believed in the power of nonviolent protest, and organized the Montgomery Bus Boycott to protest Jim Crow segregation laws. The protest was successful, leading to a change in the law and cementing King's leadership in the emerging movement. He was assassinated in 1968.

HYMN # 365

(No matter your religious bent, this is funny )

A minister was completing a temperance sermon.

With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had

All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he

Said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world,

I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down...

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced

With a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song,

Let us sing Hymn # 365,  'Shall We Gather at the River.'

 

 

Smile - lifes too short not to!!

Kool Quote!

"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it."     

 – William C. Durant

William C. Durant, founder of General Motors, consolidated much of the fledgling American auto industry under one roof. He was born in 1861 in Boston and grew up in Flint, Michigan. His innovative business model was to buy out vendors and acquire competitors. Forced to resign from GM due to this management style, he founded a new company with his race-car driver, Louis Chevrolet. He later regained control of GM but lost everything in the Great Depression. He died in 1947.

This is interesting!! I knew you needed your minimum water to flush the toxins out of your body, but this was news to me. Correct Time to Drink Water.... From A Cardiac Specialist! Drinking water at certain times maximizes its effectiveness on the body: 2 glasses of water after waking up - helps activate internal organs 1 glass of water 30 minutes before a meal - helps digestion 1 glass of water before taking a bath - helps lower blood pressure 1 glass of water before going to bed - avoids stroke or heart attack Please pass this to the people you care about I can also add to this.  My Primary Care Physician told me that water at bedtime will also help prevent night time leg cramps.  Your leg muscles are seeking hydration when they cramp and wake you up with a Charlie Horse.

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again

9. "The answer to this question will determine whether you are drunk or

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; I don't think so, we run you all through NCIC." (National Crime

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief of Police is a personal friend of

AND THE WINNER IS....