emilyg's Blog

Wednesday, November 14, 2012 7:53:57 PM � by drewh � 60 replies
Washington Examiner ^ | November 14, 2012 | 3:43 pm

Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., responded to President Obama's challenge that he "go after me" over the Benghazi attack by declaring him either incompetent or corrupt and suggesting he is not taking the attack seriously. "This president � this administration � has either been guilty of colossal incompetence or been engaged in a coverup, neither of which is acceptable to the American people," McCain said on the Senate floor today. "I speak as a friend of Christopher Stevens, I speak as a person who knows something about warfare, I speak as something of an authority � that this attack could have

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Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm "older" (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered.

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?

16. It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter -- I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.

19. I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED THIS TO YOU OR NOT!!!

20. Funny, I don't remember being ... absent-minded.

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Mitt Romney and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him saying,
'No thanks, my wife will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse.'

The second barber turned to Romney and said, 'How about you sir?' Romney replied,
'Go ahead; my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.'

He came out of nowhere but you still voted for him because you wanted change. Between you and me, at first you could hardly spell his full name. Somehow he managed to win the elections and become President. He did appeal to the masses. He talked a lot even without saying anything meaningful. He had made lots of promises, but didn't deliver any of them.

When he became president, instead of doing anything to improve the situation of the people, he did everything to improve his own position so that he could stay in power. He was supposed to stand for the little guy, but the big corporations he preached against were the ones he benefited instead. Kids would chant his name in schools like some mantra. Supporters would say his name again and again like brain dead zombies. No one understood what he was really all about, he never said it in the first place, but charisma, millions in campaign marketing would do the trick

ferfal.blogspot.com ...

There were five houses of religion in a small town: 
The Presbyterian Church, 
The   Baptist   Church, 
The  Methodist   Church   , 
The Catholic Church and 
The Jewish Synagogue. 

Each church and Synagogue was overrun with pesky squirrels. 

One day, the Presbyterian Church 
called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels.  After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.                                   

In The  BAPTIST   CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week 

The  Methodist   Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the Squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back. 

But -- The Catholic Church 
came up with the best and most effective solution.  They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. 
Now they only see them on Christmas , Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday and Easter. 

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, 
but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

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"Biden: 'There's Never Been A Day In The Last Four Years I've Been Proud To Be His Vice President'"

In all the years since D-Day, there are three occasions when the president failed
to go to the D-<snip>onument that honors the soldiers killed during the Invasion.
The occasions were:

1. Barack Obama 2010

2. Barack Obama 2011

3. Barack Obama 2012

For the past 68 years, all presidents, except Obama, have paid tribute to the fallen soldiers killed on D-Day.

This year, instead of honoring the soldiers, he made a  campaign trip on Air  Force 1 to California to raise funds for the upcoming election.

HOPE ALL THE FINE CITIZENS WHO VOTED FOR him ARE PROUD

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Petraeus Throws Obama Under the Bus

Friday, October 26, 2012 6:20:35 PM � by Snuph � 259 replies
Weekly Standard ^ | 6:05 PM, OCT 26, 2012 | WILLIAM KRISTOL

Breaking news on Benghazi: the CIA spokesman, presumably at the direction of CIA director David Petraeus, has put out this statement: "No one at any level in the CIA told anybody not to help those in need; claims to the contrary are simply inaccurate. " So who in the government did tell "anybody" not to help those in need? Someone decided not to send in military assets to help those Agency operators. Would the secretary of defense make such a decision on his own? No. It would have been a presidential decision. There was presumably a rationale for such a...

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Life isn't like a bowl of cherries, it's more like a jar of Jalapenos... What you do today, might burn your "butt" tomorrrow!

WHO SAYS MEN DON'T REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES?

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.

He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.

She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room,

"Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating.

You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he asks solemnly.

The wife is almost reduced to tears herself, just thinking how caring and sensitive her husband is.

"Yes, I do" she replies.

The husband pauses.

The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your dad caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"

"I remember that, too" she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...."I would have gotten out today."

Harold was an old man. He was sick
and in the hospital.There was one nurse
that just drove him crazy.
Every time she came in, she would talk
to him like he was a little child. She
would say in a patronizing tone of voice,
'And how are we doing this morning',

or 'Are we ready for a bath', or 'Are we hungry?'

Old Harold had had enough of this
particular nurse. One day, at breakfast,
Old Harold took the apple juice off the
tray and put it in his bed side stand.
Next, he was given a clean urine bottle
to fill for testing.

So you JUST KNOW where the juice went! JJJ

The nurse came in a little later, picked
up the urine bottle and looked at it.
'My, it seems we are a little cloudy today. '

At this, Old Harold snatched the bottle
out of her hand, popped off the top,
and drank it down, saying,
'Well, I'll run it through again.
Maybe I can filter it better this time.'

The nurse fainted!

Old Harold just smiled!

DON'T MESS WITH 'OLD' PEOPLE!!!! JJJJJJJ