emilyg's Blog

God said:
When you put aside the little smallnesses that occupy you, in contrast, what Greatness would you then be?

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AIDS WARNING!

To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this email is especially for you......
SENIOR CITIZENS
ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS!

HEARING AIDS

BAND AIDS

ROLL AIDS

WALKING AIDS

MEDICAL AIDS

GOVERNMENT AIDS

MOST OF ALL,

MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!

Not forgetting HIV
(Hair is Vanishing)

This is not the type of Redneck jokes we hear, this is beautiful.

We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to
Take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that
Values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand
Before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd
Choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up.
Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are
Made of . If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends.
Y'all know who ya are...................

.

You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to
Be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God..'

You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing
The 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas'
Instead of 'Winter Festival.'

You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when
Someone prays.

You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your
Hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem

You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces
Veterans with great respect, and always have.

You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an
American flag, nor intend to.

You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe
And you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and
Raised your kids to do the same.
Some of you are so old you don't have elders to respect.

You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to
A friend.

You might be a redneck if: You believe in God & Jesus
And believe that others have the right to believe in which
Ever God they believe in as long as their God does not
Tell them to kill anyone who does not believe the same
As they do!!!!!

If you got this email from me, it is because I believe that
You, like me, have just enough Red Neck in you to have the
Same beliefs as those talked about in this email.

God Bless the USA !

Keep the fire burning, redneck friend. You can pass it on to your redneck friends
And Associates---------It is totally acceptable and might save our Country!!!!

IN GOD WE TRUST!

Good Friends are like stars ... You don't always see them ...
But you know they are always there!
**** Bob Ledford ****

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During eulogy for war hero senator, Obama refers to himself 63 times...

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Prayer for Grandpa
This is just too beautiful not to share.

Dear God, please send clothes
for all those poor ladies on
grandpa's computer .  Amen

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Subject: share a personal experience

I would like to share a personal experience with my family and closest friends about drinking and driving.

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from an occasional social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for an evening with friends and had a couple of <snip>tails and some rather nice red wine. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before ~ I took a cab home. Sure enough, I passed a police road block but, since it was a cab, they waved it past.

I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise; as I have never driven a cab before and am not sure where I got it or what to do with it now that it's in my garage.

HOLY E-MAIL

One day God was looking down at

earth and saw all of the rascally behavior

that was going on...

?

So He called His angels and sent

one to earth for a time.

?

?

When the angel returned,

he told God,'Yes, it is bad on earth;

95% are misbehaving and only

5% are not.

?

God thought for a moment and said,

'Maybe I had better send down a second

angel to get another opinion.'

?

?

So God called another angel and sent

her to earth for a time.

?

When the angel returned she went to

God and said, 'Yes, it's true. The earth

is in decline; 95% are misbehaving,

but 5% are being good...'

?

?

God was not pleased.

?

?

?

So He decided to e-mail the 5%

who were good, because he wanted to

encourage them, and give them a little

something to help them keep going.

?

Do you know what the e-mail said?

?

Okay, I was just wondering,

because I didn't get one either.

The Wooden Bowl
I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now,
a year from now.
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year-old grandson.
The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered
The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and
failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
'We must do something about father,' said the son.
'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.
When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.
Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded,
'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.
' The four-year-old smiled and went back to work..
The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason,
neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things:
a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life..'
I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back sometimes.
I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you
But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others,
your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you
I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.
People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
I've learned that you should pass this on to everyone you care about .I just did.

A man, every Tuesday and Saturday prayed to God that 'he wished to win the lottery'. He did this for 30 years, always dissapointed. Tired of this, finally God sent him the Angel Michael. When the Angel Michael approached the man, the man recognized him and asked him: "I pray every Tuesday and Saturday for 30 years to win the lottery, why doesn't God listen to me?" Angel Michael responded: "Dude, first off you gotta buy a ticket ..."

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Robert , 85,  married Jenny,
    a lovely 25 year old . . ..

Since her new husband is so old,
    Jenny decides that after their wed- 
    ding she and Robert should have 
    separate bedrooms, because she
    is concerned that her new but aged
    husband may over-exert himself  if
    they spend the entire night together.   

After the wedding festivities Jenny
    prepares herself for bed and   
    the expected knock on the door. 
    Sure enough the knock comes,   
    the door opens  and there is Robert,
    her 85 year old groom,  ready
    for action. They unite as one.   All
    goes well,  Robert  takes  leave of
    his bride, and she prepares to go
    to sleep. 

After a few minutes, Jenny hears
    another knock on her bedroom   
    door, and it's Robert,  Again he is
    ready for more 'action'. Somewhat
    surprised, Jenny consents for more
    coupling. When the newly weds are
    done, Robert kisses his bride, bids
    her a fond good night and leaves. 

She is set to go to sleep again, but,
    aha, you guessed it Robert is  back
     again, rapping on the door and is as
    fresh as a 25 - year - old,  ready for
    more  'action'. And, once more they
    enjoy each other. 

But as Robert gets set to leave again,
    his young bride says to him, 'I am   
    thoroughly impressed that at your   
    age you can perform so well and so
    often.  I have been with guys less     
    than a third of your age who were   
    only good once. You are truly a great
    lover, Robert.' 

Robert, somewhat embarrassed, turns
    to Jenny and says:
    'You mean I was here already?'   

The  moral  of  the  story: 

Don't be afraid of getting old,   
     Alzheimer's has its advantages.

You may have heard that Hostess Bakery plants are shutting down due to a workers' strike.

You might not have heard how it was split up.

The State Department hired all the Twinkies, the Secret Service hired all the HoHos,
the generals are sleeping with the Cupcakes and the voters sent all the Ding Dongs to Congress.