ochoop17's Blog

A nun was sitting at the airport waiting for her flight to
Chicago. She looked over & saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune.

Deciding to give it a try, she went to the machine, stepped
on the scale and put her nickel in. Out came a card saying, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 Lbs and you're going to Chicago".

The nun sat back down & told herself the machine probably
gives the same reading to Everyone. The more she thought about it, the more curious she was, so she decided to try it again.

She went back to the machine and put another nickel in. Out came a card, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you are going to Chicago and you're going to play a fiddle.

The nun said to herself, I know this is wrong. I've never
played a musical instrument In my life. She went back to her seat. Then, a cowboy came and sat down, putting
his fiddle on the seat between them.

Without thinking, she opened the case, took out the fiddle and started playing. Surprised at what she'd done, she looked at the machine and decided to try again.

She went back and put in another nickel. The card said "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you are going to Chicago & you're going to break wind."

Now, she knew the machine was wrong. She'd never broken wind in public in her life. But getting off the scale, she slipped and straining to keep from falling, she broke wind.

Stunned, she sat down and looked at the machine, thinking I have to try this again. She went back to the machine and dropped in another nickel.

Another Card came out. It read, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you've fiddled & farted around & missed
your flight to Chicago

What was the entertainment name of Virginia McMath ?

What 7 letter word becomes longer when the third letter is removed?

Two elderly sisters donated $5 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to a football game. Since they had never seen a live football game before, Madge thought the free tickets would provide an excellent opportunity for doing so.

"I think so, too," said Mabel. "Let's go!"

They soon found themselves high in a noisy stadium overlooking a large, grassy expanse. They watched the kickoff and the seemingly endless back-and-forth struggles that comprised the scoreless first half.

They enjoyed the band music and cheerleader performance that followed. Then came the second half. When the teams lined up for the second-half kickoff, Madge nudged her sister.

"I guess we can go home now, Mabel," she said. "This is where we came in."

Who succeeded in her third attempt at swimming from the Bahama to Fla.in 1979 ?

How, besides NME, can you spell enemy with 3 letters?

Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

When was the last time a president's wife died while he was in office ?

Tom and Sam are twins. Tom was born on the 16^th of May and Sam on the 7^th October.

How can this be?

A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his pal what happened.

"Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough," replied his friend. "Then I met a lady who was looking for her ball too. Finding mine, I thought I'd give her a hand. There was a cow nearby and I noticed that every time the cow twitched its tail there was a flash of white. So I went over to it and lifted its tail and sure enough, there was the ball. I called out to the lady: "Ma'am, does this look like yours?" And then she hit me in the neck with her driver!"

Pee Wee Reese spent most of his baseball career playing what position ?

Why should you never iron a 4-leaf clover?

A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how he was doing. The friend was amazed by the number of nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc.

"Why all the attention?" the friend asked. "You look fine to me."

"I know," grinned the patient. "But the nurses formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required 27 stitches."

In 19--,IBM introduced its 1st personal computer, the model ----.

The paragraph below is most unusual. How quickly can you find out what is so unusual about it? It looks so ordinary you'd think nothing was wrong with it - and in fact, nothing is wrong with it. It is unusual though. Why?

"Gatsby was walking back from a visit down in Branton Hill's manufacturing district on a Saturday night. A busy day's traffic had had its noisy run; and with not many folks in sight, His Honor got along without having to stop to grasp a hand, or talk; for a mayor out of City Hall is a shining mark for any politician. And so, coming to Broadway, a booming bass drum and sounds of singing, told of a small Salvation Army unit carrying on amidst Broadway's night shopping crowds. Gatsby, walking towards that group, saw a young girl, back toward him, just finishing a long, soulful oration ... "
The above passage is taken from the book "Gatsby" written by Ernest Vincent Wright in the late 1930's