ochoop17's Blog

A couple of drinking buddies, who are airplane mechanics, are in the hangar at Logan Airport in Boston. It's fogged in and they have nothing to do. One of them says to the other: "Man, do you have anything to drink?"

 

The other one says: "Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel, and that it will kinda give you a buzz."

 

So they drink it, get smashed and have a great time, like only drinking buddies can do. The following morning, one of them gets up and is surprised he feels good. In fact, he feels great -- NO hangover! The phone rings, it's his buddy.

 

The buddy says: "Hey, how do you feel?"

 

"I feel great!" he says.

 

"I feel great too!" his friend says. "You don't have a hangover?"

 

"No," he replies: "that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover -- we ought to do this more often."

 

"Yeah, we could, but there's just one thing..."

 

"What's that?" he asks.

 

"Did you fart yet?"

 

"No," his friend replies.

 

"Well, DON'T, 'cause I just did and now I'm in Phoenix!"

I'm white & used for cutting & grinding. When I'm damaged, humans usually remove me or fill me. For most animals I am a useful tool. What am I?

In tennis, how many time did Bjorn Borg win the U. S. Open ?

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

 

The man at the counter asked the older boy: "Son, how old are you?"

 

"Eight," the boy replied.

 

The man continued: "Do you know what these are used for?"

 

The boy replied: "not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike and right now, he can't do either."

Pronounced as one letter,
And written with three,
Two letters there are,
And two only in me.
I'm double, I'm single,
I'm black, blue, and gray,
I'm read from both ends,
And the same either way.
What am I?

In college football, what is the former name of the Chick-fil-A Bowl ?

According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria,
BC recently was faced with a unique problem.

A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

I have no voice and yet I speak to you, I tell of all things in the world that people do. I have leaves, but I am not a tree, I have pages, but I am not a bride or royalty. I have a spine and hinges, but I am not a man or a door, I have told you all, I cannot tell you more. What am I?

Who played Bob Falfa in the 1973 film "American Graffiti" ?

An old man is lying on his death bed. With only hours to live, he suddenly notices the scent of chocolate chip cookies coming from the kitchen. With his last bit of energy, the old man pulls himself out from his bed, across the floor to the stairs, and down the stairs to the kitchen.

 

There, the old man's wife is baking chocolate chip cookies. With his last ounce of energy, the old man reaches for a cookie. His wife, however, quickly smacks him across the back of his hand.

 

"Leave them alone," she exclaims: "They're for the funeral!"

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

In men"s golf, what American won the British Open in 2004 ?

How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs

Continue the series: o t t f f s s _ _ _

What year did Babe Ruth hit his final home run ?