ochoop17's Blog

Oct. 14, 1912: Theodore Roosevelt, campaigning for presidency, was shot in the chest in ______.

Did he finish his schedule speech ?

There was a Famous Doctor, an Old Man and a Boyscout on an airplane with engine failure. Unfortunately, there were only two parachutes. The quick thinking Doctor stated "I am the smartest man here and also in the world .. so he jumped out! The Old Man said "My time has been good and the end is near go on kid". The Boyscout replied "No that is okay, the smartest man in the world was in such a hurry, he just jumped out with my knapsack.

Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday or Sunday?

Who was the first american woman to walk in space and What Year ?

A famous scientist was on his way to a lecture in yet another university when his chauffeur offered an idea.

"Hey, boss, I've heard your speech so many times I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off."

"Sounds great," the scientist said.

When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled into the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech.

Afterward he asked if there were any questions.

"Yes," said one professor. Then he launched into a highly technical question.

The chauffeur was panic stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. "That's an easy one," he replied. "In fact, it's so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it!"

I'm sometimes white,
Although sometimes I'm black.
I take you there,
But never bring you back.
What am I?

Oct. 08, 1871, The Great ____ Fire erupted.

An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.

 

The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man’s car bumper.

Then he yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull.”

Benny didn’t move.

Then he yelled, “Come on, pull Ranger.”

Still, Benny didn’t move.

Then he yelled really loud, “Now pull, Fred, pull hard.”

Benny just stood.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said,

“Okay, Benny, pull.”

Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.

The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, “Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn’t even try.”

What's the only mammal that can't fly that can fly?

Oct. 5, 19__,The World Series was covered on radio for the first time as Newark station ____relayed reports the Polo Grounds.

Teacher: What can we do to stop polluting our waters?
Pupil: Stop taking baths?

Teacher : Can't you retain anything in your head overnight?
Pupil : Of course, I've had this cold in my head for two days!

What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?

Oct.2, 1971, The music program "_____ _____"made its debut in national syndication.

Henry, who was very elderly, was unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and steal one out of the entrance porch when the worshippers were busy praying.

When Henry arrived at the church an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to the entire sermon on 'The Ten Commandments.'
After the service, Henry met the vicar in the vestibule doorway, shook his hand vigorously, and told him, 'I want to thank you Father for saving my soul today. I came to church to steal a hat and after hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided against it.'

The vicar answered, 'You mean the commandment ' Thou shall not steal' changed your mind?'
'No, 'retorted Henry, 'the one about adultery did. As soon as you said that, I remembered where I had left my old hat.'

You use a knife to slice my head and weep beside me when I am dead. What am I?