ochoop17's Blog

Who was the first woman to served in both houses of Congress?

• Passionate kiss like spider’s web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
• Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
• Man who run in front of car get tired.
• Man who run in back of car get exhausted.
• Man with hand in pocket feel <snip>y all day.
• Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
• Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
• Man with one chopstick go hungry.
• Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.
• Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
• Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.
• Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.
• War doesn’t determine who is right, war determines who is left.
• Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
• Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
• It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
• Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
• Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
• Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
• Man who fishes in other man’s well often catches crabs.
• Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
• Crowded elevator smells different to midget

"What does the letter "A" have in common with a flower?

Sept __, 18____: _____ _____received a patent for his sewing machine.

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?"

Who earns a living without during a day's work?

What was the born name of rock legend Buddy Holly ?

How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup?

09/03/1783: Representatives of the United States and Britain signed the Treaty of ____, which officially ended the _______ War.

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right...real slow. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back

A EF HI KLMN T VWXYZ
BCD G J OPQRS U


What's the difference between the top line of letters, and the lower line?

____  ______, creator of "Frankenstein,"was born In _____.

A man had front row tickets behind home plate at the World Series, when another guy comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "Nope", he replied, "that seat is empty".

"Whoah! That's crazy!", said the guy. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Series, the biggest day in all of baseball, and not even bother show up?"

Sadly, the man says, "Well... the seat actually belongs to me. I was supposed to come here with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Series we've missed since we got married in 1964."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. What a shame. But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

"Nah," the man replies as he shakes his head, "they're all at the funeral."

What are all around and made invisible by sunlight?