ochoop17's Blog

On Sept.28, 1066, _______ _________ invaded England to claim the English throne.

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Sometimes blue, sometimes weeping,
Sometimes twinkling, sometime beaming.
Never indoors, but is the ceiling.
What am I?

Sept. 25,1965, ____ _____ hit his fiftieth home run of the baseball season, making him the oldest to accomplish this.

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could.

The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim.Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"

The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.

Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive...."

A babysitter came over one day to babysit 10 children. She decided to give them a snack. In a jar there were 10 cookies. She wants to give each one a cookie, but still keep one in the jar. How will she do it? (WITHOUT BREAKING ANY COOKIES-EACH CHILD HAS TO GET A WHOLE!)

How old was Cy Young, when he gained his 511 victories ?

What was the score ?

What was the name of the team that he pitch for ?

What was the name of the team that he pitch against ?

A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright - but after a few months he gets lonely...

The pig starts to look more and more attractive - soft, pink flesh, round buttocks, etc. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating.

One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health. Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it."

The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?"

What year and who laid the cornerstone of the U.S. Capitol ?

Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.

    "You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?" he began.

    The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening though."

    Just then a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"

What is one thing that all wise men, regardless of their religion or politics, agree is between and earth ?

Who made the first accredited solo flight by a woman in the United States ?

John: Can you tell me the good way to remember wife's birthday?
Smith: It's very easy, Just forget it once!

You can only see it in the eyes of reflection. You can only touch it in the hands of your own. You can only find it in the other’s eyes. You can only kill it in the death of your own. What is it?