ochoop17's Blog

Dec. 1,19-- :The U. S. government held its ____ draft lottery since World War _.

How can you tell the difference between a can of chicken soup and a can of tomato soup?

Nov. 28 19--: The U. S. launched the space probe_________on a course to Mars.

Sign behind an Amish carriage:

"Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats.

CAUTION: Avoid exhaust!"

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

Who published " On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection".

There's an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen."

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your wife fell three times this week."

What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

Nov. 23, 1936 :The first issue of _____ magazine was published .

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near
death.
The family called their preacher to stand with them.

As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to
deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred
used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died.

The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he
placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that he was
wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died. He said,
"You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't
looked
at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for
us all."

He opened the note, and read, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube!"

What odd number becomes even when beheaded?

Nov. __, 19__: Apollo12 astronauts _____ _____ and ____ ____ made the second manned landing on the moon.

James and his friend Tom were playing a round of golf with their wives early on a Sunday. It was a four ball, better ballformat with a little bit of cash on the line.

James stood on the 10th tee having hooked his previous three tee shots, and to no one's surprise he hooked his drive again. When he found his ball, it was right up against one of the greenskeepers buildings. His wife advised him to hit the shot through a narrow gap between the side of the greenskeepers building and some branches.

"I can't do that," James said. "Look how narrow that gap is!" But his wife was persistant in urging him on, and she persuaded James to attempt the risky shot.

So James took a mighty swing and struck the ball ... and the ball caromed off a tree branch, richocheted off the building and hit his wife in the head, knocking her stone cold.

A week after the funeral, James and another friend, Ashley, were having a round. James teed up the ball on No. 10 and hit the exact shot he had hit a week before. He found his ball in the same spot, and once again his partner advised him to hit through the gap.

"No way," James said. "I can't hit that shot."

"Why not?" Ashley asked him.

"Well," James replied, "you know what happened last time."

"No, I don't," said Ashley. "What happened?"

"Well, last time I tried that shot," James said, "I made a double bogey!"

I have many feathers to help me fly. I have a body and head but I"m not alive. It is your strength which determines how far I go. You can hold me in your hand but I"m never thrown. What am I?"